Help Father did not return child after visition

[SallysMOM]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NC

Hello, I need advice.
I am originally from NY, I moved to NC, about 5 years ago with my children, I am divorced from their father many years now. He still lives in NY. He was ordered through NY court to pay me childsupport in which he does. I am the custodial parent he in the noncustodial parent. Both my girls have lived with me since the divorce, they are 14 and 16. We divorced when my youngest was less then a year old. Last summer was the first time in all those years my youngest ever spent anytime with him, then again this past Christmas. This summer she went up again, was suppose to return to NC last Wednesday, well she never got on the plane, he says he has the right to keep her. She does want to spend some time with him, she told me. I really just want her to come home first, and then we could do it the right way. I feel very betrayed and deceived by him. The problem is I cannot find my divorce agreement. What are my rights? I just can't give up my child like this. 14 years of her being with me, what right does he have to make such a decision? Another problem is I have tried contacting them, by text, by phone and by emails. They are avoiding me. I feel so helpless.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NC

Hello, I need advice.
I am originally from NY, I moved to NC, about 5 years ago with my children, I am divorced from their father many years now. He still lives in NY. He was ordered through NY court to pay me childsupport in which he does. I am the custodial parent he in the noncustodial parent. Both my girls have lived with me since the divorce, they are 14 and 16. We divorced when my youngest was less then a year old. Last summer was the first time in all those years my youngest ever spent anytime with him, then again this past Christmas. This summer she went up again, was suppose to return to NC last Wednesday, well she never got on the plane, he says he has the right to keep her. She does want to spend some time with him, she told me. I really just want her to come home first, and then we could do it the right way. I feel very betrayed and deceived by him. The problem is I cannot find my divorce agreement. What are my rights? I just can't give up my child like this. 14 years of her being with me, what right does he have to make such a decision? Another problem is I have tried contacting them, by text, by phone and by emails. They are avoiding me. I feel so helpless.

He absolutely does not have the right to do this. Get your butt to NY, go to the courthouse and get a copy of your divorce agreement, and then file for emergency orders compelling him to return the child.

Or contact an attorney in NY to do it on your behalf. Do it NOW.

 

[jelly]

he is in violation of that order. the court has a copy, so call the county clerk and order a copy asap. i believe this constitutes parental kidnapping, so i would suggest talking to the police right away too, as soon as you have that order. he has no rights here whatsoever... its BS.

 

[SallysMOM]

Thank you for such a quick response. I should of also stated, that the divorce was filed like 14 years ago, and honestly can't remember if it stated about child custody and visitation, I know it did stay the both children reside with their mother. I will definately get a copy of the divorce agreement. I was really hoping that there was some law out there that protects my rights, being that she has always lived with me. What about her being a resident of NC, for the past 5 years. schools, doctors etc. Guess I'm just looking/hoping for quick instant answers, knowing that it could take weeks to get my papers in the mail.
Thank you again

 

[jelly]

look up on line parental kidnapping prevention act and uniform child custody jurisdiction act.. you'll need to consult an attorney regarding which state has jusrisdiction, because normally its in the state that issued the divorce, but you may be able to change it because NC is considerd the "home state of the child".. in any case, i would file petitions/motions in BOTH states, if i wehre you. but get that order first, file a police report second, and see a lawyer third. the police will need the divorce decree to know thats thres been parental kidnapping. note of caution, after 6 months of being there, NY would become her "home state" again, so dont let it hang forever.

 

[kat1963]

If you want to get your kid back you head up to NY on the next flight out. You pay the fee & obtain a copy of the order from the court house. You can't do a damn thing without it. Then you either file yourself or you obtain the services of an attorney. Since you haven't gone up to get your child he could file for an ex parte' (WITHOUT THE OTHER PARTY) hearing for (temporary) emergency custody (abandonment).
KAT

 

[titansfan]

dad could have his visitation terminated if he doesnt return child

thats a good way for dad to get his vsitation restricted or terminated, violating a court order like that. you better explain that to him.

 

[Adriana0531]

I am so sorry that I can't give you legal advice. But, I know how badly you must be hurt by this. The best advice that I can give is to tell you to remember that she is still a minor child, with you as her custodial parent. What he does by avoiding you could be taken as kidnapping. Hire a good lawyer. I know that you also don't want to hurt your daughter, but the simple fact is that what he is doing is very wrong. I hope it all works out soon

 

[SallysMOM]

Hi and thanks to everyone for all the advice.

One more question, what exactly does de facto sole custody mean? As of right now, I have not heard from her father, I have heard from her, and she has told me, she is registered in school, and starts Sept. I am working on my divorce papers. I am doing my part on this end, speaking with all necessary departments in NY, but not getting any answers. Getting more help from everyone at this site. Again thank you.

 

[Zephyr]

I am working on my divorce papers.

he didn't return her on last wednesday when he should have, but as of your posting yesterday (5 days after the fact) you had still done nothing, you were told to get your divorce papers asap and request through the court the return of your daughter. but you are still "working on your divorce papers", you do realize for a small fee they will fax them to you, right? you could have had them that same day, given the time of day it is now, you have wasted a full week wringing your hands.

you also should contact that school and tell them that she does not have your consent to attend there.

get the order faxed to you asap and follow the other advice you have been given.

and kelly, once AGAIN, what good would that do the OP?