bonkers101
Member
Texas -
Background -
Got pg - dad didn't want son - saw him twice in over a year - at 15 months we went to court, he got visitation and was ordered child support - things went downhill, he is a control freak, started taping conversations, filing all sorts of nasty stuff, filed for sole custody when he had never even had an overnight yet...it hit him in the face when the judge told him to chill out and just be a dad and to stop with the vindictive stuff against me. He walked away, no contact, tried to kill himself in front of his stepchildren, 6 months later I moved 200 miles away after a temp order requiring him to have supervised visits. He never exercised them instead he walked away. A year later he contacted me and taped the conversation with me saying we needed to go back to court and do it the right way to start contact again. He refused, he wanted to pick him up for Thanksgiving that week, after not seeing him for over a year. I refused and told him we needed to go back to court and establish a new parenting plan.
He came back into the picture two years later and we hired attorneys in 2004 after he married wife number 5 and had another child. It had now been four years since he had seen his son. His attorney asked to be removed from the case very early on because of his control issues with her even and his threatening to sue her, we went to mediation and worked things out as far as visitations and child support. He has had every other weekend since Oct 04, he has started paying support - he was 15K in arrears. Son is 7 years old.
It was put into our paperwork that neither parent is to speak negatively of the other parent because of the horrible things he says to our son. Son just came back from Spring Break and fell apart before we even left the parking lot. Dad accused him of not using shampoo to wash his hair and then went on about how he is no better than his mother - nothing but a liar - and he will turn out just like me. Then he went on to tell him about how I "kidnapped" him and that he has me lying on tape and he will play the tapes to our son.
Son is horrified. He wants to establish a relationship with this man as his father and his father is damaging it by doing this! He also tells him constantly that if he doesn't shape up he is never allowed to come back (and they will go to Disney World over summer and won't even miss him). How juvenile.
What can I do? Can I hire an attorney for my son? Can i require parenting classes of some sort? I want this to work for my son's sake, he deserves a dad that he can count on and look up to.
So what can a parent do when it is abuse such as this? He is simply an idiot of a parent, something that perhaps can be *taught* in classes - he needs to know what damage he is doing. I'm not wanting to stop him from seeing him or anything of the sort, I just want to know what I can do to help my son. At this point I told him I'm sorry that he has to hear things like that and he just has to ignore it. I don't know what else to do...
What is the name of your state?
Background -
Got pg - dad didn't want son - saw him twice in over a year - at 15 months we went to court, he got visitation and was ordered child support - things went downhill, he is a control freak, started taping conversations, filing all sorts of nasty stuff, filed for sole custody when he had never even had an overnight yet...it hit him in the face when the judge told him to chill out and just be a dad and to stop with the vindictive stuff against me. He walked away, no contact, tried to kill himself in front of his stepchildren, 6 months later I moved 200 miles away after a temp order requiring him to have supervised visits. He never exercised them instead he walked away. A year later he contacted me and taped the conversation with me saying we needed to go back to court and do it the right way to start contact again. He refused, he wanted to pick him up for Thanksgiving that week, after not seeing him for over a year. I refused and told him we needed to go back to court and establish a new parenting plan.
He came back into the picture two years later and we hired attorneys in 2004 after he married wife number 5 and had another child. It had now been four years since he had seen his son. His attorney asked to be removed from the case very early on because of his control issues with her even and his threatening to sue her, we went to mediation and worked things out as far as visitations and child support. He has had every other weekend since Oct 04, he has started paying support - he was 15K in arrears. Son is 7 years old.
It was put into our paperwork that neither parent is to speak negatively of the other parent because of the horrible things he says to our son. Son just came back from Spring Break and fell apart before we even left the parking lot. Dad accused him of not using shampoo to wash his hair and then went on about how he is no better than his mother - nothing but a liar - and he will turn out just like me. Then he went on to tell him about how I "kidnapped" him and that he has me lying on tape and he will play the tapes to our son.
Son is horrified. He wants to establish a relationship with this man as his father and his father is damaging it by doing this! He also tells him constantly that if he doesn't shape up he is never allowed to come back (and they will go to Disney World over summer and won't even miss him). How juvenile.
What can I do? Can I hire an attorney for my son? Can i require parenting classes of some sort? I want this to work for my son's sake, he deserves a dad that he can count on and look up to.
So what can a parent do when it is abuse such as this? He is simply an idiot of a parent, something that perhaps can be *taught* in classes - he needs to know what damage he is doing. I'm not wanting to stop him from seeing him or anything of the sort, I just want to know what I can do to help my son. At this point I told him I'm sorry that he has to hear things like that and he just has to ignore it. I don't know what else to do...
What is the name of your state?