Help! His ex-wife is torturing me!

[Newspouse]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey

I have been married a year and with my husband for almost 5 years. Throughout this entire time, my husband's ex-wife (divorced 10 years) has been harassing me with the harassment escalating. She is friends with several of the police in my small-ish town (she lives 2 blocks away from me) and believes she can get away with most anything and has. (I know that is not an issue for this board). She went to my old job when I still worked there, watches the house (and has her boyfriend and his kids do the same), left harassing phone calls (we don't have them on tape anymore), got my cell phone number, caused scenes at my house ( the police were called once with a report filed),etc. She has told my mother-in-law and neighbors lies about me, including that I am a drug dealer. Defamation? Her latest ploy to break-up my marraige involved her attempt to prohibit me from seeing my step-son (age 12). She filed for sole custody and and to keep my away from my step-son, wanting me to leave my house. She filed the motion pro se and it was 20 pages ranging from exagerations to out-right lies. My husband, with a lawyer, filed a cross-motion to which I am not and cannot be a party. His motion has scared her for now and she is willing to drop the motion. This is great news for my husband but not for me. My name and reputation has been thrown around in false accusations in legal documents, and it appears I have no recourse. Her "torture" of me has slowed for now, but if true to her form, it will resume again with more intensity. I have several questions. Do I have enough on her for harrassment? Defamation? Do I have any recourse for for her use of the court system to harass me? How can I stop her? Are there steps I can take in the future to "catch" her?

 

[moxie5k]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey

I have been married a year and with my husband for almost 5 years. Throughout this entire time, my husband's ex-wife (divorced 10 years) has been harassing me with the harassment escalating. She is friends with several of the police in my small-ish town (she lives 2 blocks away from me) and believes she can get away with most anything and has. (I know that is not an issue for this board). She went to my old job when I still worked there, watches the house (and has her boyfriend and his kids do the same), left harassing phone calls (we don't have them on tape anymore), got my cell phone number, caused scenes at my house ( the police were called once with a report filed),etc. She has told my mother-in-law and neighbors lies about me, including that I am a drug dealer. Defamation? Her latest ploy to break-up my marraige involved her attempt to prohibit me from seeing my step-son (age 12). She filed for sole custody and and to keep my away from my step-son, wanting me to leave my house. She filed the motion pro se and it was 20 pages ranging from exagerations to out-right lies. My husband, with a lawyer, filed a cross-motion to which I am not and cannot be a party. His motion has scared her for now and she is willing to drop the motion. This is great news for my husband but not for me. My name and reputation has been thrown around in false accusations in legal documents, and it appears I have no recourse. Her "torture" of me has slowed for now, but if true to her form, it will resume again with more intensity. I have several questions. Do I have enough on her for harrassment? Defamation? Do I have any recourse for for her use of the court system to harass me? How can I stop her? Are there steps I can take in the future to "catch" her?

What impact have her actions actually had on YOU personally, ie, did you lose your job? do people believe what she says? For instance, does your mother-in-law now belive that you are a drug dealer becuase of what ex-wife is saying? If not, and the fact that the police did respond and write a report, it seems from what you are saying is she doesn't like you and isn't afraid to tell everyone that. This is not actionable without showing some monetary damages, not just that your feelings were hurt.
If she is stalking you there are very likely laws against that. you can try to get a restraining order against her. It is correct, you are not a legal parent of your step son, and would not be a party to a custody battle for him. This very likely hurts as you probably love him very much. But if the motion by your husband was sucessful, and the judge found that her claims against you were not valid, then the libel is gone.
As a heads up for you, family disputes are extremely difficult to solve within a legal framework. People are allowed to not like and do hateful things to each other. The law won't make them change thier ways unless someone has been or is likely going to get hurt. OR you lose money. It's a sad reality. good luck.