Help! how to make legal agreement with ex!

[ctalley]

Calif. We've been thru the trial faze of the divorce and we are now in agreement on the prop. settlement. How do we go about writting a legal agreement? We will use our attorneys for the review of the document but we want to compose it without the attorneys fighting with each other. Is this something that we are allowed to do, write an agreement between ourselves, and then file it with the courts? If so, how would we proceed after that to finalize the divorce?
Thanks ahead of time,
Cathy

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Calif. We've been thru the trial faze of the divorce and we are now in agreement on the prop. settlement. How do we go about writting a legal agreement? We will use our attorneys for the review of the document but we want to compose it without the attorneys fighting with each other. Is this something that we are allowed to do, write an agreement between ourselves, and then file it with the courts? If so, how would we proceed after that to finalize the divorce?
Thanks ahead of time,
Cathy

My response:

Hello, Cathy. Okay, here's what you do. You both go to a law library and ask the librarian for a book on sample "Marital Settlement Agreements". With great anticipation, you both look through about 30 or 40 of them, like two kids in a candy store. Then, with that confused look on your faces, you both realize why there are attorneys in this world.

Then, you choose one that you think is the closest that meets your needs. You start writing, taking notes, massaging it, drafting, more scribbling, bickering, arguing, throwing chairs at each other, one of you starts running with scissors, and then you both come to your senses, and finally agree to what you both want.

Proudly, the two of you go to your attorneys and show them the wonderful Agreement and blissfully say, "Now, we've saved $1,000.00. Aren't you proud of us?"

The attorneys, with some umms, and uh huhs, and noises you've never even heard before, review the Agreement. Then they both look at each other and in unison, crumple up the agreement, ball it up, and throw it away.

Then they both turn to you and say, "Now you know why there are attorneys in the world."

Good luck to you both.

IAAL

 

[ctalley]

Hey Liable,
Thanks for your response. The chair throwing is over and now I just want to not pay any more money than I have to to my attorney. Sounds like it's ok to draw up the agreement and give it to the attorneys, but will they have some legal reason to reject it? Each of our attorneys hate each other and for us, the couple, we are thru fighting. They are not. I am thinking it's my life can't I control my destiny?
thanks, Cathy

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Hi Cathy - -

Of course you can control your own destiny. Remember, as the client, you're the boss. You have the two most powerful words in the English Language at your disposal - - "You're Fired !"

Now, if you don't have the funds, but obviously need the Agreement completed, then, at the very least, have a paralegal draw up the Agreement. You tell the paralegal what your situation is, and an Agreement will be "tailored fit" for you. A paralegal can't give you legal advice, but at least the paralegal will know which clauses to use and include. Almost each clause in such an Agreement has legal significance and, depending on your particular situation, you would need some knowledge to know which ones to include or exclude. That's why it wouldn't be a good idea for you to draw one up, yourself.

I hope you enjoyed my little bit of whimsy; but I think you understood the seriousness between the lines. I wish you well.

IAAL

P.S. You can find a good paralegal by looking in your Yellow Pages under "Paralegal Services" or the "Legal" section.

 

[dorenephilpot]

You are the consumer -- the lawyers aren't in charge here.

If you and your spouse truly are in agreement, write out what you want, then share it with BOTH the lawyers. Tell the lawyers to write it up officially, reflecting YOUR wishes.

Now, of course, the lawyers would advise you if you are trying to do something against your own best interests or are requesting something that the court won't go along with because it's illegal or unconscionable. But once you have been counseled on those two items, then they can get on w/the business of finalizing your divorce.

I'm an attorney who does divorces, and I LOVE to hear that my clients have come to an agreement that sounds reasonable. I hope your attorneys feel similarly.

If they don't, I would have to wonder if they're more concerned about racking up fees than having everyone move on w/their lives.