Help! I got married not knowing i was still married!

[fixingmylife2018]

My ex and i got married in Vegas in 2001. We fell apart 5 years later. I contacted her and asked if she could send me the marriage license/any other paperwork so i could go ahead and file divorce papers. She said something in reference to the fact that we never recieved certain paperwork . (Huh? I thought) but at any rate, i said no problem and went on with my life. A few years later, i married again in North Carolina . One day something told me to go to the library and check to see if i was actually married the 1st time. I checked and there it was. I was indeed married, being never divorced the 1st time. Immediate panic set in because i had no idea i was still married. I told my then-wife about it. I said we needed an annulment because i needed to take care of the mess from my first marriage. She refused . My second marriage ended after only 2 years. Now its 2018. All of these years have passed. I haven't seen or spoke to either of them ..until recently. I finally was able to find my ex from the 1st marriage. I told her we must get this taken care of. She fully agrees. No problem. She said as soon as i get her the divorce papers she will sign it. There are no kids, no money, no property or other attachments in either relationship. I just simply thought when my first ex said we didn't recieve some paperwork, i thought it was simply a "vegas sham" and we lucked up being never officially married. ...but we were. This was a complete honest mistake. I had no idea i was still married when i got married again. Now for more complications, i got married in Vegas. My first ex is from California. I got remarried in North Carolina. My second ex is in Seattle. I just came back out here to California to get this taken care of with my 1st ex. I was told you have to be a resident for 6 months first before you can divorce. At the end of the day, this was a terrible mistake. I had no idea i was still married when i got married again. I never had the money to pay for a lawyer to take care of this before and i still am struggling financially but there has to be SOME WAY i can take care of this and put it behind me. What do i have to do to get this divorce from my 1st ex, we were married in vegas, she is from California and i am from North Carolina. Can you divorce in a state you werent married in? How can i afford a lawyer? What are my options? Again this was a big mistake and im just trying to figure out how to clean up my life, get this divorce finalized, fix my credit and live my life the best i can. Please help!

 

[Shadowbunny]

My ex and i got married in Vegas in 2001. We fell apart 5 years later. I contacted her and asked if she could send me the marriage license/any other paperwork so i could go ahead and file divorce papers. She said something in reference to the fact that we never recieved certain paperwork . (Huh? I thought) but at any rate, i said no problem and went on with my life. A few years later, i married again in North Carolina . One day something told me to go to the library and check to see if i was actually married the 1st time. I checked and there it was. I was indeed married, being never divorced the 1st time. Immediate panic set in because i had no idea i was still married. I told my then-wife about it. I said we needed an annulment because i needed to take care of the mess from my first marriage. She refused . My second marriage ended after only 2 years. Now its 2018. All of these years have passed. I haven't seen or spoke to either of them ..until recently. I finally was able to find my ex from the 1st marriage. I told her we must get this taken care of. She fully agrees. No problem. She said as soon as i get her the divorce papers she will sign it. There are no kids, no money, no property or other attachments in either relationship. I just simply thought when my first ex said we didn't recieve some paperwork, i thought it was simply a "vegas sham" and we lucked up being never officially married. ...but we were. This was a complete honest mistake. I had no idea i was still married when i got married again. Now for more complications, i got married in Vegas. My first ex is from California. I got remarried in North Carolina. My second ex is in Seattle. I just came back out here to California to get this taken care of with my 1st ex. I was told you have to be a resident for 6 months first before you can divorce. At the end of the day, this was a terrible mistake. I had no idea i was still married when i got married again. I never had the money to pay for a lawyer to take care of this before and i still am struggling financially but there has to be SOME WAY i can take care of this and put it behind me. What do i have to do to get this divorce from my 1st ex, we were married in vegas, she is from California and i am from North Carolina. Can you divorce in a state you werent married in? How can i afford a lawyer? What are my options? Again this was a big mistake and im just trying to figure out how to clean up my life, get this divorce finalized, fix my credit and live my life the best i can. Please help!

No, you don't need to get a divorce in the state you were married in. You file the divorce papers in whatever state you live in. Your post is a little confusing, but it appears that wife #1 is currently in California. If so, she can file for the divorce there. You don't need an attorney to do so, and since you both agree that you want the divorce, it's pretty straightforward. You can learn more here: http://www.courts.ca.gov/1032.htm

Did you file for divorce from wife #2? If not, either she can file in Washington, or you can file in whatever state you're living in now for a divorce.

 

[HRZ]

Double check but if marriage #2 is void at the onset...a divorce to that might not be required ?

 

[fixingmylife2018]

No, you don't need to get a divorce in the state you were married in. You file the divorce papers in whatever state you live in. Your post is a little confusing, but it appears that wife #1 is currently in California. If so, she can file for the divorce there. You don't need an attorney to do so, and since you both agree that you want the divorce, it's pretty straightforward. You can learn more here: http://www.courts.ca.gov/1032.htm

Did you file for divorce from wife #2? If not, either she can file in Washington, or you can file in whatever state you're living in now for a divorce.

I spoke with this one lawyer who told me as soon as the divorce from 1st wife is finalized, the other marriage is automatically null and void since i wasn't divorced the first time.

 

[justalayman]

I spoke with this one lawyer who told me as soon as the divorce from 1st wife is finalized, the other marriage is automatically null and void since i wasn't divorced the first time.

Oh really. Well good luck with that. If you ignore your second marrriage you’ll end up with problems similar to what you have now. While the marriage is void by law already, failing to act to show the state’s records to reflect that, when anybody researches it, all they will find is that you are still married to wife #2

As they say; the job isn’t complete until the paperwork is finished.

You should file for an annulment in North Carolina for that marriage.



Btw; the oh really was in reference to the attorney stating that once you get divorced from the first wife then the second marriage is null and void. The fact is it was void at its inception because you could not legally marry due to already being married.

 

[fixingmylife2018]

Can i file for annulment from wife #2 even if she may not want to? I haven't seen or spoken to her since 2010.

 

[justalayman]

Yes. The marriage is void by law already. The filing for the annulment is simply to make it clear you aren’t and weren’t actually married. It avoids the questions in the future like; if you aren’t married why does North Carolina have recorded proof you are?

While you could eventually prove the marriage was void at its inception, it avoids having to do that.