HELP ME PLEASE!

[frustratedinmd]

I am in Maryland. My husband is military. I have a couple questions. I recently left him, I want to file for legal separation. He is overseas. What financial support am I entitled too (we have a six year old son, plus he has a child from a previous relationship)? He says that I cannot receive alimony because I worked during our marriage, I say bubkiss, but he said JAG told him that. Is that true? How can I make him send me my things that are in Germany? How can I protect myself, he is nuts? PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!

 

[gphjr]

Help

I'm no lawyer let me say this. I'm very fimilar military and divorce. You will need to file for child support and spousal support brfore you can get paid. Since you left all of you things you will have to return to germany or just wait for him to send your things.

 

[frustratedinmd]

It would be impossible for me to return to Germany. Since my son and I are no longer there and the only reason he had housing was because we were there, doesn't he have to get out. If I remember right, the military will send things back, but how can I hurry him along? Is there someone I could talk to?

 

[og719]

The first thing you need to do is get an attorney. Most will probably tell you they don't know much about the military, but you can pursue action regardless.

Since he is in Germany, I am assuming he is Army. Contact the nearest Army Family Services center (if there isn't one near you, call the local recruiter and ask for a number) and make an appointment. Tell them the story and, while they may not be able to help you directly, ask them for the address/phone number of his commanding officer and Sergeant Major. Contact them and tell them you are no longer in country and don't intend to return.

Getting your stuff back may be a problem. Even if they toss him out of housing (they may not as long as you're legally married) they may not pay to ship the household goods back until the end of his tour.

Keep in mind, the Soldier's and Sailor's Relief Act (prominently mentioned in other posts) is a roadblock to getting a divorce as long as he is overseas. The best way to get it done is for you and him to agree on a settlement, have him sign a waiver of appearance and go to court and get it done.

 

[gphjr]

More on this

OG719 got really close to what you need to do. But calling his commanding Officer or Sergeant Major will only make the problem worse. Todays military really protect it's soldiers. The military will tell you that you should have stayed there until you got orders to leave then you would have had your things. When he moves out of housing his things will go into storage until he gets orders to depart Germany. They will ot be shipped to you unles he says tehy can. His chain of command won't even get involved with it. If you left him then then will say that you didn't care very much about the belongings. I'm assuming that you didn't have orders to leave when you left Germany. If you didn't have an order for early return of dependents. Am I correct. If you live in Maryland then you Have FT Meade, Aberdeen Proving grounds, and other Military Installions around you. Is he Army or Airforce.

 

[frustratedinmd]

He is Army. I left because there was abuse, alcoholism and cheating going on, all on his part. He has a violent nature and has since made threats against me. His company is aware of his violent nature. I don't know what to do because everything that I own is there and all of my son's belongings. He just found out that I will not be filing bankruptcy with him and he flew off the handle. He threatening both my life and to take my son away from me, which I don't think would ever happen. I just don't know what to do. I am very scared of this man. What can I do?

 

[gphjr]

What you need

MD
What you need is to find the nearest Military Installation. You have the internet so it should not be hard to do. If you have his threats in writing print them and take them with you. You will need them. If you have a answering machine then when he calls you inform him that the call is being recorded, make sure that you tell him that the call is being recorded and you telling him is on the recording. Take all of this to JAG at your local military Installation. If your incidents involved the Military Police then the fights you had are recorded and on file. You will also need to go to the Army Emergency releif and ask them what you can do because your Military spouse is not helping you support your child. If all of this fails take all of this information to the Inspector Generals Office at that installation. Make sure you get the names of everyone you talk to so that if you have to go to the inspector gerneral they will know who to get reprimanded. The one thing that you will need to do in this whole thing is never under any circumstance tell a lie on him. If you do thatand you are caught the Army will turn thier back on you and you will loose. The only thing you will get is Child Support out of it.You seem sincere in your request is why I'm giving you all of this information, and the step by step instruction. There are many Military Wife's who lie on the soldier. I'm currently living the other end of your situation but I'm no drunk nor have I committed aldultrey. She lied on me and the Army knows it now. She almost cost me my career. Now go forth and be patient the Military is very slow but if you don't lie you will get results. If there is anything else you need help with Just post the Divorce question here and I'll find it when I look. I check this place out almost everyday and I have found answers to questions without even asking it. Also check out Militarydicorceonline.com it has a lot of answers. Also find your state's statues about divorce they are linked here under the state resources. Do a lot of reading it will save you a bundle. Your Attorney will have to do less research which will cost you less money. I'm almost at the end of mine and I have only paid $ 1,100.00 in Attorney fees.

 

[frustratedinmd]

I really appreciate your help. I will definitely do what you suggest. It is just very scary, because he is crazy. I don't know what to do anymore. The Army is very intimidating. The last thing I need is a war. Thanks again.

 

[gphjr]

MD

MD You will get a war.
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