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Help! out of control teen in California

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Beth2

Guest
Hello,
I truly hope someone can help me here as I am at my wits end. My 15-year-old son is completly out of control. About a year ago he got into trouble at school (he watched the door while a drug deal was being made in the bathroom) I pulled him out of school and began to home school him in hopes that I could keep a better eye on him and the choices he was making. He then made friends with an older crowd- boys aged 17-18 who come from troubled homes (no food, drugs, little parental involvement,police records etc.) He has now completely gone off the deep end and I have no control over him. He is four inches taller than me and out weighs me by at least 100 pounds. I ground him and he disappears once I go to sleep. He has not committed any crimes (or at least hasn't been caught) yet. He steals from me and breaks into the house in the middle of the night to take food. He has been missing this time for the past three days. When he does reappear and I try to talk to him he screams and yells. I anticipate him being thrown out of the homeschool program next week as he is not doing his school work. He will then be placed in a continuation high school program. My understanding is that A) I can be put in jail if he does not show up for school. B) If he is placed in juvenile hall I am responsible for the fees and C) I am financially liable for any crimes he happens to commit. I have tried to get him into counseling but he refuses to show up and I am them forced to pay 100.00 that I cannot afford for every no-show. The counselor said he can only help someone who wants help themselves and my son does not fit that definition. I have two other children both extremely well behaved honor roll kids. I provide a good, stable home. I do not drink alcohol or use drugs. I feel as if I am being held hostage by my son. What can I do???
 


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Beth2

Guest
Hey I'm open to any and all suggestions... where does one look into military school and is it expensive?
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Beth2:
Hey I'm open to any and all suggestions... where does one look into military school and is it expensive?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My response:

Using your search engine in your browser, search "military school" on the Internet. You'll come up with something.

IAAL



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By reading the “Response” to your question or comment, you agree that: The opinions expressed herein by "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE" are designed to provide educational information only and are not intended to, nor do they, offer legal advice. Opinions expressed to you in this site are not intended to, nor does it, create an attorney-client relationship, nor does it constitute legal advice to any person reviewing such information. No electronic communication with "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE," on its own, will generate an attorney-client relationship, nor will it be considered an attorney-client privileged communication. You further agree that you will obtain your own attorney's advice and counsel for your questions responded to herein by "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE."

 
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Beth2

Guest
Um... o.k. you guys I browsed military Schools and looks like tuition runs around 20,000 a year! A bit out of my league! Think single parent here. If I had that kind of money I'd go stay somewhere to get away from him!
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
My further response:

Okay, here's the next best thing to do.

Tell him you and he are going on a trip together to Mexico; you know, a "let's get to know each other and bonding" trip. He'll love the idea.

When you get to your destination, and he's settled into the hotel room, just tell him you're going to the gift shop to buy a magazine and will be right back.

Go to the front desk and check out. Leave $300.00 with the desk clerk to give to him, when he comes asking for you.

Get on the airplane and leave him there.

IAAL

------------------
By reading the “Response” to your question or comment, you agree that: The opinions expressed herein by "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE" are designed to provide educational information only and are not intended to, nor do they, offer legal advice. Opinions expressed to you in this site are not intended to, nor does it, create an attorney-client relationship, nor does it constitute legal advice to any person reviewing such information. No electronic communication with "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE," on its own, will generate an attorney-client relationship, nor will it be considered an attorney-client privileged communication. You further agree that you will obtain your own attorney's advice and counsel for your questions responded to herein by "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE."

 
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jared999

Guest
I feel terible for you but I have a few suggestions. Call social services, and describe your problem, they will send over a 6 foot, 5, 220 black guy, who used to be in the army to talk to him. (Not to be racist but I want to use some realistic imagedry) If need be he will be sent to juvenile hall and you will have to pay nothing. Some people have to learn the hard way.
Jared
 
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dsut

Guest
Beth2, while I have no idea why you don't have a hubby, all I can say is this is precisely why a kid needs a daddy. Not ragging on you, just stating the facts. The mommy has her part in a family and a daddy has his.

As for a solution, I say call up the local US Marine Corps recruiter's office. See if any of the marines will be a "big brother" like figure for your son. I have heard of that being done in the past.

Wish you luck.

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I ain't a lawyer. I ain't a copper. I'm a true blue American that believes in Freedom for all. Provided they ain't criminals.
 
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Beth2

Guest
Thank you to all of you who replied to my message I will check into all of your suggestions. I really appreciate your kindness and consideration in this matter. Dsut-- my son has been abandoned by his father and what I wouldn't give for him to have a male influence as I agree with you that boys do need their fathers (well all children do but especially boys) Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about that but I will check into the other suggestions. Thank you so much! Beth2
 
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missmarie

Guest
THE MOST LOGICAL THING THAT IS LEFT AND IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE.....GOD. HE WILL ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS IF YOU ARE A BELIEVER. SEARCH FOR SOME COUNSEL THROUGH LOCAL CHURCHES, SUCH AS HARVEST CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP, IN RIVERSIDE,CA. CHECK OUT THE WEB WWW.HARVEST.ORG ALSO EASTSIDE CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP IN FULLERTON,CA. THESE CHURCHES HAVE GREAT YOUTH GROUPS FOR TEENS THAT HAVE BEEN JUST WHERE YOUR SON IS RIGHT NOW. ALSO SINGLE PARENT GROUPS FOR YOU. BETH, I'VE BEEN THERE DONE THAT. HOPE THESE WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT WILL HELP. GOD LOVES YOU AND WANTS THE BEST FOR EVERYONE! HE IS WAITING FOR YOU, GO TO HIM FOR THE BEST ADVICE!
 
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missmarie

Guest
MAY I SUGGEST THE MOST OBVIOUS AND BEST WAY TO TAKE CARE OF THE SITUATION. SOMETHING THAT IS TOTALLY FREE AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE JUST WAITING FOR YOU.....GOD. HE CARES FOR YOU AND YOUR SON. HOW ABOUT COUNSEL THROUGH LOCAL CHURCHES. NOT SURE WHERE YOU ARE, BUT HERE ARE SOME GREAT CHURCHES WITH GOOD PEOPLE. HARVEST CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP IN RIVERSIDE, CA. WWW.HARVEST.ORG ALSO EASTSIDE CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP IN FULLERTON,CA. THEY BOTH HAVE GREAT YOUTH GROUPS FOR YOUR SON AND ALSO SINGLE PARENT GROUPS FOR YOU. GOD LOVES YOU AND WANTS THE BEST FOR EVERYONE. GO TO HIM HE IS WAITING. BETH, I HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT, SINGLE WITH THREE CHILDREN. HE IS THE WAY. I'LL BE PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. HERE IS SOMETHING FOR YOU TO READ THAT ALWAYS KEPT ME GOING.PSALM 9:9-10 AND PHIL 4:13
y posted by Beth2:
Thank you to all of you who replied to my message I will check into all of your suggestions. I really appreciate your kindness and consideration in this matter. Dsut-- my son has been abandoned by his father and what I wouldn't give for him to have a male influence as I agree with you that boys do need their fathers (well all children do but especially boys) Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about that but I will check into the other suggestions. Thank you so much! Beth2[/QUOTE]

 
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STEW

Guest
Beth,
I agree 100% with missmarie. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It may take time but it also took time for your son to become what he is. He must know that what he is doing is wrong. Deep inside I believe he has remorse. Try all that missmarie has suggested, be a good example, and do things together. I feel your pain, Good Luck
 
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Beth2

Guest
Thank you once again for the suggestions! I will check into the website. I pray for my son several times a day. I know that God is there and has a plan even if I am not aware of what it is. I have been frustrated at times waiting for an answer, what I wouldn't do for a burning bush! Oddly enough, he actually met this group of boys at a church youth program! Imagine my disapointment. I thought I was stearing him in the right direction... As to the other suggestion, I briefly considered calling a talk show, but after watching several of them it just felt wrong. In my heart I felt that it was abusive. Who knows? I may get that desperate. But for now I would like to exhaust any and all other options. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, all of you, for taking the time to post suggestions. Beth
 
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stew

Guest
HELLO BETH,
THOUGHT I WOULD CHECK IN TO SEE HOW YOU AND YOUR SON ARE HOLDING UP. I FOUND A WEB SITE THAT YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT, CROSSWALK.COM YOU HAVE A GOOD CHANCE OF FINDING YOUR ANSWER THERE. ATLEAST YOU WILL FEEL KINDNESS AND FRIENDSHIP WHILE YOU SEARCH. DON'T GIVE UP IN THIS AREA IT HAS THE ANSWER. JUST BE CAREFULL AND KNOW THAT THIER IS ALSO BAD ADVICE OUT THERE. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Beth2:
Thank you once again for the suggestions! I will check into the website. I pray for my son several times a day. I know that God is there and has a plan even if I am not aware of what it is. I have been frustrated at times waiting for an answer, what I wouldn't do for a burning bush! Oddly enough, he actually met this group of boys at a church youth program! Imagine my disapointment. I thought I was stearing him in the right direction... As to the other suggestion, I briefly considered calling a talk show, but after watching several of them it just felt wrong. In my heart I felt that it was abusive. Who knows? I may get that desperate. But for now I would like to exhaust any and all other options. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, all of you, for taking the time to post suggestions. Beth<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

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