HELP please!!!!!!

[AngelHad]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee

HELP! In May, my boyfriend and I split up and my son and I moved to Tennessee from Iowa. (He is the father and our son is 4) We have FINALLY worked out a custody agreement betweent he two of us where he would have him during the summers. (I wrote it out) we did not want to involve the courts. Nothing has been signed yet! I got a call this morning and he said he is driving down here and getting our son and taking him back to Iowa for the duration of the summer. He will be here Tuesday. What can I do to protect my rights - ensuring he HAS to bring him back. I know he had x amount of days to file something after we left and he choes not to. If he signs the agreement when he gets down here and we have it noterized or something will that protect us? ANY advice is appreciated! PLEASE!!! Thank-you!!!What is the name of your state?

 

[stealth2]

Is he LEGALLY the father?

 

[LdiJ]

A notarized agreement is worth nothing more than the paper it is printed on. Personally, if it were my child I wouldn't let him take the child until custody is settled in court. It DOES have to be settled in court to be official.

 

[AngelHad]

Yes, he is the legal father. It is his child. His name is on the birth certificate.

He said, no matter what, he is coming down and taking him back to Iowa until school starts and there is nothign I can do about it. He's right, isn't he?

 

[stealth2]

Not necessarily. Simply being on the BC doesn't mean he's LEGALLY the father. Did he (and you) sign and notarize an Affadavit of Paternity?

Even if he DID, YOU are under no obligation to release the child to him absent a court order. If you do, HE is under no obligation to return him to you.

Then there is also a question of jurisdiction. You now live in TN - how long have you lived there? How long did the child reside in whatever state you came from? How possible is it that your ex has already filed for and received an order in that state?

 

[AngelHad]

You know I am not sure. Is that something that is signed at the hospital? Becuase we have never gone out, sat down and signed something. But, if it is done at the hospital then, we may have signed one.

We have lived in Tennesse since May of this year. 2 months. We do have resident status here. We lived in Iowa for 3 years.

I know he hasn't gotten any court orders, nor signed anything. He swears up and down that he will return him to me, but I have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that he would pull something. I am just so confused and scared. I have never gone after him for Child support or anything.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Of course you have a feeling in the pit of your stomach because you did the same thing.

You have not been in TN long enough to establish residency for the issue of child custody, that required 6 months and in that 6 months the father can file for custody in the child state of residence whether or not you return the child to him for your agreed visitation. No wonder you don't want to go to court, you have taken a child away from the father they have known all their life and don't want a court to make orders. While it may or not be true that you have established paternity, the fact remains that he has a relationship with the child and a right to go to court and ask for his paternal rights and at least visitation. If he shows up with a court order, you will have to allow him to take the child according to the order, if not and he has travelled all that way to pick up his child for visitaiton you agreed to allow him to have, you can bet that he will return to IA and file for sole custody and you will have to return to IA with the child for court.

 

[acmb05]

You know I am not sure. Is that something that is signed at the hospital? Becuase we have never gone out, sat down and signed something. But, if it is done at the hospital then, we may have signed one.

We have lived in Tennesse since May of this year. 2 months. We do have resident status here. We lived in Iowa for 3 years.

I know he hasn't gotten any court orders, nor signed anything. He swears up and down that he will return him to me, but I have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that he would pull something. I am just so confused and scared. I have never gone after him for Child support or anything.

You DO NOT have resident status in Tennessee for legal purposes. He could take him back to Iowa and then file there for custody and you would have to go back there to fight it. At this time you have not lived here long enough to file here. I agree with LDiJ I would not let him take the child out of the stsate either or anywhere without you for that matter.

 

[stealth2]

We have lived in Tennesse since May of this year. 2 months. We do have resident status here. We lived in Iowa for 3 years.

Uuuuuh, no, you don't.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Why do they ask the questions after they have left the barn door open?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Since the child is 4 and you have lived in IA for 3 years, in what state was the child born?

 

[acmb05]

Since the child is 4 and you have lived in IA for 3 years, in what state was the child born?

At this point it does not matter as they have residency in Iowa and as she says nothing has ever been to court.