Help, teacher may be bullying my son?

[mssbama4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? alabama


My 3rd grade son is having trouble with a little girl in his class. Their teacher says they bicker and name call back and forth. The girls mother is a teacher's aide for another grade at the school. after the first incident, my son came home saying the mother/aide pulled him out of his class (his teacher was absent from the room) to talk to him. I didnt think anything of it. The second time, my son called me sobbing from the nurses station. He and the little girl argued again AND again the mother found my son in the hallway to further discipline him. Again the teacher was unaware of this so i went to the principal. He assured me that the mother would not have access to my son. I even went further to ask the teacher if my son was bullying the girl. She told me no. My son tells me this mother/aide constantly baggers him in the lunch line, recess, etc. I have told him not to go into the hallways alone. Today the kids argued again. I was called up to the school to bring medicine to my son. He had a headache from crying after the mother embarassed him in front of his class. As i rounded the corner - i found the mother/aide in the hallway. face to face with my son - alone. I asked her to step away from him and for us to go to the principals office. He asked us both to write a statement. I dont know what else to do. How do I protect my son from this woman? Can I get a restraining order on her? I feel like I am battling a gaint here.....

 

[Isis1]

What did the principal say that day after you caught her again speaking to your son?

 

[TheGeekess]

Ask to have your son transferred to another teacher's class, away from the girl.

 

[cyjeff]

Allow me to say this... though it is not legally binding.

My wife is a school teacher. My mother in law was a teacher, principal and superintendent of schools for an entire state.

I have heard this happen before... and the news isn't good for the teacher's aide....

Now, I am not saying she will be fired or even disciplined. HOWEVER... if that principal didn't tear a bloody strip off that woman and ask if she really wanted a job when the principal was receiving, literally, a hundred resumes a week, I would be very surprised

If the situation doesn't change, call the superintendent. They HATE this type of bullying.

 

[mssbama4]

I asked for a transfer into the other class after the second incident. Thats when I was told the mother/aide would not be a problem anymore. Maybe this time, it will be granted.

When the mother and I went to the office, I asked the principal if he had instructed her to stay away from my son. He said yes, she said she had forgotten and she apologized to him. He then told us to both write a statement about today. All i can write is that I found her in the hallway with my son. I dont know what was said or what happened at school to cause this chain of events. Its an 8 years olds word vs an adults. I am biased and believe my son - naturally.

Im not naive enough to know my son isnt calling her daughter names - and vice versa. And i was told by their teacher they were disciplined. Im worried because this woman is instituting her own discipline. How do I stop this without being the "Crazy Mom" that they wont take seriously? Or is that just what I need to do?

 

[Humusluvr]

I would be in the teacher's classroom, telling her that if the aide has any contact with your son, you will speak to the superintendent about having the aide pulled from the school, and about the principal's and teacher's certifications. If the school is unable to provide a safe atmosphere for your son, then ask to have him transferred to another school in the district. Talk to the principal, and (calmly) let him/her know that you won't put up with your son being threatened by the aide. If they cannot assure your son is safe, demand the transfer.

 

[mssbama4]

thanks cyjeff. I am not a confrontational person. I will contact the superindentant. I know following the chain of command is the best way to go.

 

[cyjeff]

I asked for a transfer into the other class after the second incident. Thats when I was told the mother/aide would not be a problem anymore. Maybe this time, it will be granted.

When the mother and I went to the office, I asked the principal if he had instructed her to stay away from my son. He said yes, she said she had forgotten and she apologized to him. He then told us to both write a statement about today. All i can write is that I found her in the hallway with my son. I dont know what was said or what happened at school to cause this chain of events. Its an 8 years olds word vs an adults. I am biased and believe my son - naturally.

Im not naive enough to know my son isnt calling her daughter names - and vice versa. And i was told by their teacher they were disciplined. Im worried because this woman is instituting her own discipline. How do I stop this without being the "Crazy Mom" that they wont take seriously? Or is that just what I need to do?

Sorry, but I wouldn't give the southbound end of a northbound horse about what the principal thinks about me.

 

[mssbama4]

thank you humusluvr for your advice. I am feeling better about my options.

 

[cyjeff]

thanks cyjeff. I am not a confrontational person. I will contact the superindentant. I know following the chain of command is the best way to go.

Wait for the principal to come back to you with the results.

The superintendent will only get involved if you have exhausted your available resources.

 

[Humusluvr]

Wait for the principal to come back to you with the results.

The superintendent will only get involved if you have exhausted your available resources.

Agreed, chain of command is best.

The aide conveniently "forgot" that she wasn't allowed to bully a third grader? As the principal, I would forget to sign her time card, and then hire someone else. How dare she overstep her boundaries?

When safety is involved, the momma grizzly in me would come out!

 

[mssbama4]

Update from monday

Tuesday morning I emailed my letter to the principal, copying in the superindentant's office. ( I was told to request that my complaint go into the mother/aides personal file - hence me contacting the superindentants office.) I then took my letter up to the school - just incase. Mainly because I was so worried about my son. the principal saw me and asked to speak. He told me he had seen the letter and that I had sent it his boss. He told me that was a good idea. He said he was investigating the matter,to give him a week for results -- he has to follow the correct procedures. He explained further that the mother/aide had withdrawn her daughter from the school and I shouldnt be worried anymore. I explained it wasnt the daughter that scared me - its the mother bullying my son.

Anyway, he assured me that my son was safe. I do believe the principal is taking this very seriously.

Later yesterday afternoon, I recieved a phone call from the superindentant. She told me that she was sorry for not contacting me earlier and she was meeting with the principal today to resolve this matter.

Thank you all for your advice and I will keep you updated.

 

[Humusluvr]

That seems like about as good an outcome as could have happened! I'm glad you went through the proper channels, and I think this looks to have resolved the issue. Thanks for letting us know what happened!

 

[Isis1]

Yes!!! Way to go Mom!!!

 

[izzie01]

I just read your update. I read this yesterday and was going to make the suggestion to send them a letter. I have had several people/parents say that talking with teachers etc. and sometimes not getting any where is common. They/school usually respond to things much better if it is done in writing. They just seem to take matters more seriously if done in writing. Has happened with my son and school issues. After I finally figured that out I would talk with them but also hand them something written outlining what concerns where. My son had an IEP and would often have issues that came up.