help with some procedure questions with setting up court for divorce

[EricZ90]

New York
Hi, I am going thru a divorce right now and I hired a lawyer in September 2015 for my case. It is been half year now, and my lawyer is still telling me he can't set a court day for me. He was telling me that my ex-spouse didn't file her paper before so I waited. Now he is telling me that my ex-spouse and her lawyer can not set a day where they are free for us all to go in for a case conference, so we will have to wait for them. So far I have no court day, and no case conference day still, and he is telling me my case is moving really fast. I asked my lawyer if there is something we can do to speed things up. We can't just wait for them forever if they don't want to get things done. I can be waiting for years if they want to drag it on. Maybe there is a time limited to how long they have to respond and get things done. And my lawyer answer me that there is nothing we can do. We will just have to wait for them and that is how the system works. What my lawyer said really don't seem logical to me. I don't think its right that I have to wait forever for my ex-spouse and her lawyer if they don't want to get this over with. I never went thru any court case before and don't know how the system works. What I want to know is if what my lawyer said is true, that there is nothing he can do, so we have to just wait for them. I am starting to feel like my lawyer is just trying to drag things on and get more money out of it in the process.
I would really appreciate it if anyone can answer if what my lawyer said is true or not.

Thanks

 

[Zigner]

Hi, I am going thru a divorce right now and I hired a lawyer in September 2015 for my case. It is been half year now, and my lawyer is still telling me he can't set a court day for me. He was telling me that my ex-spouse didn't file her paper before so I waited. Now he is telling me that my ex-spouse and her lawyer can not set a day where they are free for us all to go in for a case conference, so we will have to wait for them. So far I have no court day, and no case conference day still, and he is telling me my case is moving really fast. I asked my lawyer if there is something we can do to speed things up. We can't just wait for them forever if they don't want to get things done. I can be waiting for years if they want to drag it on. Maybe there is a time limited to how long they have to respond and get things done. And my lawyer answer me that there is nothing we can do. We will just have to wait for them and that is how the system works. What my lawyer said really don't seem logical to me. I don't think its right that I have to wait forever for my ex-spouse and her lawyer if they don't want to get this over with. I never went thru any court case before and don't know how the system works. What I want to know is if what my lawyer said is true, that there is nothing he can do, so we have to just wait for them. I am starting to feel like my lawyer is just trying to drag things on and get more money out of it in the process.
I would really appreciate it if anyone can answer if what my lawyer said is true or not.

Thanks

The name of your US state is important.

 

[latigo]

The name of your US state is important.

Would you believe "New York"? You are getting almost as careless as me. *


[*] [sup] Or is it "as careless as I". Never have understood that pronoun. Carelessness I do understand plenty, but not the I - me business.[/SUP]

 

[Zigner]

Would you believe "New York"? You are getting almost as careless as me. *


[*] [sup] Or is it "as careless as I". Never have understood that pronoun. Carelessness I do understand plenty, but not the I - me business.[/SUP]

Nope - OP edited it in after I responded...

 

[latigo]

Nope - OP edited it in after I responded...

Okay. Now what? I suppose there was some purpose in the asking.

 

[Zigner]

Okay. Now what? I suppose there was some purpose in the asking.

Yes, the purpose was to find out the state that this thread pertains to. Are you feeling ok lat?

 

[Silverplum]

So that somebody could find 'n' post this: https://www.nycourts.gov/courts/1jd/supctmanh/Matrimonial_Litigation.shtml

 

[I'mTheFather]

Would you believe "New York"? You are getting almost as careless as me. *


[*] [sup] Or is it "as careless as I". Never have understood that pronoun. Carelessness I do understand plenty, but not the I - me business.[/SUP]

Just to clear up the pronoun issue, if you can add "am" to the phrase, you should say "I", as in "You are getting almost as careless as I (am)."

 

[latigo]

New York
Hi, I am going thru a divorce right now and I hired a lawyer in September 2015 for my case. It is been half year now, and my lawyer is still telling me he can't set a court day for me. He was telling me that my ex-spouse didn't file her paper before so I waited. Now he is telling me that my ex-spouse and her lawyer can not set a day where they are free for us all to go in for a case conference, so we will have to wait for them. So far I have no court day, and no case conference day still, and he is telling me my case is moving really fast. I asked my lawyer if there is something we can do to speed things up. We can't just wait for them forever if they don't want to get things done. I can be waiting for years if they want to drag it on. Maybe there is a time limited to how long they have to respond and get things done. And my lawyer answer me that there is nothing we can do. We will just have to wait for them and that is how the system works. What my lawyer said really don't seem logical to me. I don't think its right that I have to wait forever for my ex-spouse and her lawyer if they don't want to get this over with. I never went thru any court case before and don't know how the system works. What I want to know is if what my lawyer said is true, that there is nothing he can do, so we have to just wait for them. I am starting to feel like my lawyer is just trying to drag things on and get more money out of it in the process.
I would really appreciate it if anyone can answer if what my lawyer said is true or not.

Thanks

I understand your frustration and impatience. Contested domestic lawsuit seem always highly charged as well as emotionally and financially draining. People that have been married for decades often expect the knot to be cut overnight.

But unfortunately the judicial system is not a well oiled machine. It doesn't function like an airline. More like a wagon train. Plus, although there a number of exceptions, lawyers tend to be lazy! I know. I've been around them all of my life. And like folks in all walks of life some are wiser and more efficient than others.

Here though I would be very uncomfortable with what seems to be an attitude on the part of your lawyer that the opposition has his "hands-are-tied". There are ways to get around an opponent's foot dragging.

The best I can suggest is that you and a level headed friend sit down with the lawyer and ask the same questions you are asking here. If you are not happy with the answer, then consider looking elsewhere.

But six months is not an inordinate amount of time for a divorce to hang. I had one (no children and stuff you wouldn't display at a garage sale) and this is the God's truth, that went on almost seven years! Thanks to an s.o.b. , moron of a judge that gave us a half a day at a time carried over 6 months per and allowed the other lawyer to start from the beginning because "I didn't take notes." (I managed however to secure an interim order of divorce in the first go 'round.)

Good luck

 

[Bali Hai]

New York
Hi, I am going thru a divorce right now and I hired a lawyer in September 2015 for my case. It is been half year now, and my lawyer is still telling me he can't set a court day for me. He was telling me that my ex-spouse didn't file her paper before so I waited. Now he is telling me that my ex-spouse and her lawyer can not set a day where they are free for us all to go in for a case conference, so we will have to wait for them. So far I have no court day, and no case conference day still, and he is telling me my case is moving really fast. I asked my lawyer if there is something we can do to speed things up. We can't just wait for them forever if they don't want to get things done. I can be waiting for years if they want to drag it on. Maybe there is a time limited to how long they have to respond and get things done. And my lawyer answer me that there is nothing we can do. We will just have to wait for them and that is how the system works. What my lawyer said really don't seem logical to me. I don't think its right that I have to wait forever for my ex-spouse and her lawyer if they don't want to get this over with. I never went thru any court case before and don't know how the system works. What I want to know is if what my lawyer said is true, that there is nothing he can do, so we have to just wait for them. I am starting to feel like my lawyer is just trying to drag things on and get more money out of it in the process.
I would really appreciate it if anyone can answer if what my lawyer said is true or not.

Thanks

Sounds like your case is contested. Unless you give the other side everything they demand, expect your case to be finalized in a year or more.

 

[latigo]

Sounds like your case is contested. Unless you give the other side everything they demand, expect your case to be finalized in a year or more.

You've tried a number of contested divorce cases have you?

 

[Bali Hai]

You've tried a number of contested divorce cases have you?

There is no substitute for experience, one's own and others. I'm here to give advice based on my experience and not to drum up business. You?

 

[stealth2]

not to beat the bushes for business. You?

Kinda out of line, Bali.

 

[Bali Hai]

Kinda out of line, Bali.

I fixed it. Better?

 

[not2cleverRed]

What do you expect? It's New York.

I'm with Bali. Although granted, our respective divorces were back in the days where "cause" was required. (In theory, "cause" is a good idea, but unfortunately things do get gummed up when an obstinate ex contests.)

It is clear that OP's WIFE is not in as much of a hurry as he. (Note: she's not an ex-wife until you have a divorce decree in you hands.)

Let me put it this way: my divorce went to trial. (It could have been simple, but my ex contested everything.) It took 2 months to get a written decision and almost 6 months to final decree. And that's considering the only issues the judge was dealing with were child support and visitation.

But that's Suffolk County.