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erainamaginnis

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? florida

I have 2 children from a previous relationship in Illinois. we were never married, his name is on the birth certificate. I have had full custody of them since 1999 when he abandoned them for 9 months. He has been in and out of the boys' lives a total of 4 times. Last time he was gone for almost 2 yrs. Each time he comes back he is given another chance and has never had visitation kept from him. Ofcourse he will say otherwise.

As of last year, he took me to court for visitation when we did go to court I brought along a contract I had written with visitation agreements on it. The judge agreed to my terms saying they were not unreasonable and it was honored as a legal document and we both signed it in court. One of the demands was that it be renewed every year in court which he has to request. The year has come and gone and he has not requested a new visitation agreement. In the meantime, myself and my family(including my husband) have moved to the state of Florida. per the agreement, I had a letter signed by both myself and my ex stating that I had permission to relocate and that he had an address.

Now, with no visitation agreement or rules for him to follow, things have gotten a bit tricky. when he comes and visits he takes the children overnight to a hotel in the area. This last time he stayed for 6 days. during this stay, my sons have informed me that he left them with his 15 yr old nephew to go on a date with a women he had met at the waterpark they had gone to during the week. He was gone enough time for my sons (ages 8,9)to have watched 2 movies. also, most of the week was spent at this waterpark where the boys claimed to have been ignored by their father while he talked with this girl for hours at a time. Other times they said were spent with their father locked up in the other room at the hotel while he talked on the phone with his wife(YES! his wife! they were going through marital problems at the time) for hours at a time. Leaving his nephew to care for the boys once again.

Last month their father's calls shriveled down to once that whole month. The month before it was only 3 times. (He blames his busy life in the army) Leaving the boys upset and hurt. My oldest son (age 9) who is very mature for his age said he was mad at his father and did not want to talk to him. Other son said the same thing but recently said what was on his mind to his father. When their father was confronted by my son, his father told him he never left to go on a date and he was very mistaken. Later that evening my older son came to me after having talked with his brother told me that his father had lied to my other son and yes, he did leave to go on a date. My older son said he asked his father directly where he was going and he was answered that father was going on a date
Yes, I did talk to their father today and he admitted to me that he did lie and that he did leave them in the room with his nephew so that he could associate with this girl in another room in the hotel.....Now....how can I trust him?

I do not want to do something that will blow up in my face later. but when is enough!! when can it be okay to say, in the best interest of the child you are not allowed overnight visits and your day visits have to be surpervised. he took them to a waterpark where they were not watched by him and both boys dont know how to swim well. What can I do?
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
You have no issue of a legal nature. When he has visitation it's his right to get laid, even leaving the kids in the care of a 15 year-old.

If that is your issue, forget it.

If you are using this incident to ask for supervised visitation, again, you have no grounds.

It's NOT up to you to tell the children's father how to enjoy his visitation. Just as it's not his right to tell you how to spend your time with them.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
My response:

I am so sick and tired of reading all the drama and emotion. No one cares about your drama, lady!

Rewrite your post, and just give the facts.

Lastly, you picked him. Apparently you didn't mind him when he was splooging in you.

Now, rewrite your post.

IAAL
 

erainamaginnis

Junior Member
WOW!! Sorry a bit emotion (yes I am a women) and new to this forum....

in a nutshell.... Mikey and Zac are upset. They only get 2 times a year to see their father and they didnt like being ignored. They are 8,9 do they have a legal right to say wether or not right now they want to have a relationship. If not, Due to his neglect do I have a right to say in the best interest of the child this deadbeat dad needs to get out of their lives before he really ****s them up!!!

Is that better for you!!!

thanks for the help!
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
erainamaginnis said:
WOW!! Sorry a bit emotion (yes I am a women) and new to this forum....

in a nutshell.... Mikey and Zac are upset. They only get 2 times a year to see their father and they didnt like being ignored. They are 8,9 do they have a legal right to say wether or not right now they want to have a relationship. If not, Due to his neglect do I have a right to say in the best interest of the child this deadbeat dad needs to get out of their lives before he really ****s them up!!!

Is that better for you!!!

thanks for the help!
They have no say in the matter and you don't either. IS THAT BETTER FOR YOU? :rolleyes:
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
splooging ?

I love it. Does that mean you have to do it in a cave?????

My response:

I think you're confusing the slang "splooge" with "spelunker" - - One who explores caves chiefly as a hobby; a caver. Unless, of course, you're comparing this skank's hoo-hoo with a huge cave. Then, in that instance, you'd be correct. (Did you like my use of the made up words, "hoo hoo"?)

IAAL
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
erainamaginnis said:
WOW!! Sorry a bit emotion (yes I am a women) and new to this forum....

in a nutshell.... Mikey and Zac are upset. They only get 2 times a year to see their father and they didnt like being ignored. They are 8,9 do they have a legal right to say wether or not right now they want to have a relationship. If not, Due to his neglect do I have a right to say in the best interest of the child this deadbeat dad needs to get out of their lives before he really ****s them up!!!

Is that better for you!!!

thanks for the help!


My response:

Gee, I couldn't tell you were a woman . . . . Pshawwwww.

So, by writing the above, you're saying that your initial post was 9/10 emotion and drama?

Yes, that's better for me. Now, go pay for your advice, smart-ass.

IAAL
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
erainamaginnis said:
not here to have a fight I just wanted advice....
Despite the method in which the advice was given to you...it was accurate.

Unless dad had sex with the woman in the next bed...with the kids in the same room...no judge is going to do anything to him about it.

Legally, the 15 year old is old enough to babysit (which is probably why dad brought him along...sigh)

Your kids won't have any say regarding visitation until they are 18....even if dad does mess up his relationship with them by doing REALLY stupid things...like going out on dates when they know he is married to someone else....or ditching them in favor of a date.

Both you and your kids are going to have to live with this. It would be in your kid's best interest to be taught that its ok to love dad...even while disliking dad's behavior.

Believe me....BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

Edit:....if your kids don't swim well...and dad has a habit of taking them to water parks....then get them lessons.
 

erainamaginnis

Junior Member
I was happy with my post...you were the one bashing it...I am just trying to figure things out for my family and I am not trying to be a smart ass. Obviously I am trying to figure which way to go with this. which way do I go? Should I have my day in court? Or if it is to the best of all of us to go to couseling and try to figure this out. Yes, you guys are right I picked him! and I am paying for it!!! and so are my boys!!! which is not fair for them! Yes!! when it comes to them I get emotional as any mother would!! But I am asking nicely for some help...I cant pay for advice why do you think I am still trying to talk to you even after being bashed.
 

Veronica1228

Senior Member
erainamaginnis said:
WOW!! Sorry a bit emotion (yes I am a women) and new to this forum....
By the way, I object to the fact that you are condoning a typically male sexist stereotype that has been unfairly labeled upon our gender. On behalf of Gloria Steinem, I have to ask you to turn in your uterus. :D
 

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