Helping a friend file for divorce...

[draygnmage]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

I am helping a friend file for divorce. She is living with relatives right now and working full time and going to school full time (internet classes). She has both of their children as he is in a state facility for check fraud, theft, etc. He has been there for a year. Will probably still be there for another 6 months unless more people serve him (he still has several people out there that he cheated who have not caught up with him yet). He will most likely fight the divorce tooth and nail and will fight for custody just to be a pain.

Facts of the matter as I see them:

She has grounds to file for a fault divorce on the grounds of 1- adultery (which she probably can't prove), 2- physical separation (as he was living in his own apartment when he was incarcerated), and 3- the fact that he is in a state institution.

She has been taking the kids to see him regularly and has sent him care packages (don't ask me why).

Here are my questions:

1- Does anyone have a form or a link to a free complaint she can file with the courts to start the divorce proceedings?

2- Can/should she push for full custody as he is incarcerated and obviously not able to care for the kids?

3- She wishes to move out of the relatives house and into an apartment but cannot really afford that without a roommate, which I would be happy to do, but being male, am afraid the spouse will attempt to use that against her somehow.

4- Since she has been working all this time and he obviously hasn't, is he entitled to alimony?

5- What can he do to drag his feet on the divorce from prison/how can she deal with these roadblocks?

6- She doesn't have the money for an attorney, so what is the likliehood of getting this done with just my help (having filed my own no fault divorce previously)?

7- In a perfect world, I would have her file the complaint, have him served in prison, and as he can't make it to the hearing file a motion for default judgment. Will the prison system ship him back to the area so he can go to court and fight his divorce?

I know we'll have more questions, but I think that's good to get started. I'll do my best to answer any questions or clarifications you need from her.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

I am helping a friend file for divorce. She is living with relatives right now and working full time and going to school full time (internet classes). She has both of their children as he is in a state facility for check fraud, theft, etc. He has been there for a year. Will probably still be there for another 6 months unless more people serve him (he still has several people out there that he cheated who have not caught up with him yet). He will most likely fight the divorce tooth and nail and will fight for custody just to be a pain.

Facts of the matter as I see them:

She has grounds to file for a fault divorce on the grounds of 1- adultery (which she probably can't prove), 2- physical separation (as he was living in his own apartment when he was incarcerated), and 3- the fact that he is in a state institution.

She has been taking the kids to see him regularly and has sent him care packages (don't ask me why).

Here are my questions:

1- Does anyone have a form or a link to a free complaint she can file with the courts to start the divorce proceedings?

2- Can/should she push for full custody as he is incarcerated and obviously not able to care for the kids?

3- She wishes to move out of the relatives house and into an apartment but cannot really afford that without a roommate, which I would be happy to do, but being male, am afraid the spouse will attempt to use that against her somehow.

4- Since she has been working all this time and he obviously hasn't, is he entitled to alimony?

5- What can he do to drag his feet on the divorce from prison/how can she deal with these roadblocks?

6- She doesn't have the money for an attorney, so what is the likliehood of getting this done with just my help (having filed my own no fault divorce previously)?

7- In a perfect world, I would have her file the complaint, have him served in prison, and as he can't make it to the hearing file a motion for default judgment. Will the prison system ship him back to the area so he can go to court and fight his divorce?

I know we'll have more questions, but I think that's good to get started. I'll do my best to answer any questions or clarifications you need from her.

She needs to go ahead and file for divorce and custody of the children. If you really want to help her, help her get an attorney to handle it. She really needs to do this now, she should have done it a year ago.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

I am helping a friend file for divorce. She is living with relatives right now and working full time and going to school full time (internet classes). She has both of their children as he is in a state facility for check fraud, theft, etc. He has been there for a year.

Okay but they both have custody technically. And if you are NOT an attorney be careful how much help you are giving.

Will probably still be there for another 6 months unless more people serve him (he still has several people out there that he cheated who have not caught up with him yet).

People serving him will NOT keep him in jail. ONly further criminal convictions will keep him in jail.

He will most likely fight the divorce tooth and nail and will fight for custody just to be a pain.

He can fight the divorce and he can fight for custody.

Facts of the matter as I see them:

Which is irrelevant.

She has grounds to file for a fault divorce on the grounds of 1- adultery (which she probably can't prove),

Then she should not allege this. IF she can't prove it then it would be ridiculous to say such a thing.

2- physical separation (as he was living in his own apartment when he was incarcerated),

Which doesn't matter that he was only living in his own apartment or that he is incarcerated. When was the last time they had a conjugal visit?

and 3- the fact that he is in a state institution.

That is a ground. has she read the statutes? She should go to code.ohio.gov/orc

She has been taking the kids to see him regularly and has sent him care packages (don't ask me why).

Because he is the children's father and he is her husband still.

Here are my questions:

1- Does anyone have a form or a link to a free complaint she can file with the courts to start the divorce proceedings?

Has she checked her county website. Some counties have lots of things online.

2- Can/should she push for full custody as he is incarcerated and obviously not able to care for the kids?

Does she want to push for full custody?

3- She wishes to move out of the relatives house and into an apartment but cannot really afford that without a roommate, which I would be happy to do, but being male, am afraid the spouse will attempt to use that against her somehow.

He might try. Separate bedrooms or shared? Who are you to her?

4- Since she has been working all this time and he obviously hasn't, is he entitled to alimony?

Not enough information.

5- What can he do to drag his feet on the divorce from prison/how can she deal with these roadblocks?

He can file an answer. Ask for continuances. Get a GAL appointed. Request mediation and a variety of things. All of which is his right in a divorce.

6- She doesn't have the money for an attorney, so what is the likliehood of getting this done with just my help (having filed my own no fault divorce previously)?

How smart is she? why can't she do it herself?

7- In a perfect world, I would have her file the complaint, have him served in prison, and as he can't make it to the hearing file a motion for default judgment. Will the prison system ship him back to the area so he can go to court and fight his divorce?

Him not being able to make it to the hearing does NOT get her a default judgment. If he does not file an answer she can then petition for a default.

I know we'll have more questions, but I think that's good to get started. I'll do my best to answer any questions or clarifications you need from her.

Truthfully SHE should come on line to ask her own questions and you need to step back.

 

[draygnmage]

- All I'm doing is helping with the research and such. I am not representing her or giving her advice. I work for a law firm, and I know better than to impersonate an attorney.

- Sorry, I should have said, he pleads guilty to all the charges, so they get automatic judgments, and it seems as though all his judgments turn into sentences of 6 months to run concurrently with the time he is already serving.

- I *said* he'd fight the divorce. I know its his right and so does she.

- Not irrelevant, it points out that the information might be incomplete and opens the floor for any questions people responding might have.

- I told her it wouldn't be good to bring that up as her only witness is her 5 year old who witnessed "strange ladies in bed with daddy."

- Last conjugal visit would be a little over a year ago. I was merely pointing out that he had moved out of the family home and had been out for a period of time before he was arrested. I wasn't sure if that constituted a willful absence or not.

- Thank you for the link.

- The don't ask me why was a sarcastic comment on my part about the care packages. I'm not *that* cold hearted of a *******. He should still see his kids.

- Actually, just found out that Ohio has a site that you can file for divorce online if you pass certain criteria.

- Well, she wants more than shared parenting. She'd like to be the custodial parent, but still wants the kids to spend time with him, after school some days, some weekends, full weeks in the summer, etc. She doesn't want to be unfair, but she also doesn't want him to take a fair plan and make that her starting point in negotiations with him wanting full custody, etc. He's already threatened that if she files he'll push for full custody just to hurt her. Ini the past, he's had the children's health insurance coverage through the county cancelled to be vindictive. She already knows he'll never pay child support by making sure to work under the table for cash.

- Separate bedrooms. I am her friend, nothing more.

- Before prison, he ran his own business which she helped run. He's always had jobs that were easy to get creative on tax returns with. I know that on paper, she looks like the breadwinner of the two.

- The answer I'm sure he'll file. Not sure if he's smart enough to file the rest of it though. How many continuances can you file before a judge gets fed up with it? Generally you would request a continuance for a reason. Can he request them due to not being able to appear (basically holding up the process until he is released)? The good thing is that there is really nothing to mediate except the custody as everything they owned has been sold or given away. And whatever debt she ends up responsible for, she'll most likely file bankruptcy on.

- Pardon me, I misspoke myself (its been a long day).

- She is extremely intelligent, but being a single mom, and working and going to school full time don't leave her much time to research this. I post frequently in the credit and collection threads (I am a legal collector) and as such, happen to have a username on this board already. She knows what I'm writing. I just happen to have a little more knowledge of the legal process and divorce in general than she does, so I'm helping.

 

[Ohiogal]

All I'm doing is helping with the research and such. I am not representing her or giving her advice. I work for a law firm, and I know better than to impersonate an attorney.

That is good.

- Sorry, I should have said, he pleads guilty to all the charges, so they get automatic judgments, and it seems as though all his judgments turn into sentences of 6 months to run concurrently with the time he is already serving.

Concurrent means at the same time so that is not a lot of time.

- I *said* he'd fight the divorce. I know its his right and so does she.

Okay.

- Not irrelevant, it points out that the information might be incomplete and opens the floor for any questions people responding might have.

Okay but how you see things is LEGALLY irrelevant.

- I told her it wouldn't be good to bring that up as her only witness is her 5 year old who witnessed "strange ladies in bed with daddy."

And how did the five year old witness such things? Unless he was doing something horrible with them in bed (or having sex which technically is not horrible but is not appropriate so maybe inappropriate is the better term) it doesn't matter how many strange ladies daddy bedded. It means nothing with custody issues.

- Last conjugal visit would be a little over a year ago. I was merely pointing out that he had moved out of the family home and had been out for a period of time before he was arrested. I wasn't sure if that constituted a willful absence or not.

Yes it does however some people say they moved out a year ago and have had a conjugal visit last week. Separation means more than just moving out. It also means not having sex or fulfilling the marital obligations of bed and board.

- Thank you for the link.

You are welcome.

- The don't ask me why was a sarcastic comment on my part about the care packages. I'm not *that* cold hearted of a *******. He should still see his kids.

What you think DOES NOT matter. The law is that regardless he is their father, she chose them, and depending on the crime (which apparently was financial of a sort) he still has a right to be a father.

- Actually, just found out that Ohio has a site that you can file for divorce online if you pass certain criteria.

And what site are you referring to? Counties have their own sites in the state of Ohio.

- Well, she wants more than shared parenting. She'd like to be the custodial parent, but still wants the kids to spend time with him, after school some days, some weekends, full weeks in the summer, etc. She doesn't want to be unfair, but she also doesn't want him to take a fair plan and make that her starting point in negotiations with him wanting full custody, etc. He's already threatened that if she files he'll push for full custody just to hurt her. Ini the past, he's had the children's health insurance coverage through the county cancelled to be vindictive. She already knows he'll never pay child support by making sure to work under the table for cash.

She will most likely get that. He won't get full custody. He cannot cancel the children's health insurance to be vindictive. If that happened she needs to find out why. As for child support, she can get an order. Doesn't mean he will pay but he will be subjected to the legal system. If he is on probation/parole, he will be REQUIRED to pay.

- Separate bedrooms. I am her friend, nothing more.

I asked because the assumption will be that you are her lover.

- Before prison, he ran his own business which she helped run. He's always had jobs that were easy to get creative on tax returns with. I know that on paper, she looks like the breadwinner of the two.

He is in prison. Getting alimony is going to be difficult. Because alimony is to cover expenses. He doesn't have any.

- The answer I'm sure he'll file. Not sure if he's smart enough to file the rest of it though. How many continuances can you file before a judge gets fed up with it? Generally you would request a continuance for a reason. Can he request them due to not being able to appear (basically holding up the process until he is released)? The good thing is that there is really nothing to mediate except the custody as everything they owned has been sold or given away. And whatever debt she ends up responsible for, she'll most likely file bankruptcy on

He can request a continuance based on being in prison and ask that it be scheduled after his release. (6 months based on what you said). But he cannot request them forever.

- Pardon me, I misspoke myself (its been a long day).

You are forgiven. I am assuming you are referring to a default hearing. But I could be wrong. But still you are forgiven.

- She is extremely intelligent, but being a single mom, and working and going to school full time don't leave her much time to research this. I post frequently in the credit and collection threads (I am a legal collector) and as such, happen to have a username on this board already. She knows what I'm writing. I just happen to have a little more knowledge of the legal process and divorce in general than she does, so I'm helping\.

Okay. Not a problem. Just trying to make sure that you know you CANNOT be involved in the divorce proceedings.

 

[draygnmage]

I'll just skip to the parts I wanted to clarify.

The concurrent sentences are being served simultaneously, but they are not getting reduced for time served. So basically, every time he gets a sentence of 6 months, it starts from that day. His release date has been moved from mid summer (for his original sentencing) to October (for a sentencing in April) to November (for another sentencing in May). If he gets served again between now and November, it will most likely end up with another 6 months sentence putting his release date somewhere in early '08.

The five year old, who was three at the time, was and still is prone to nightmares, and so (as children often do) went to climb into dad's bed and found a stranger there. She has agreed to not use that though, so this point is kind of moot.

I was actually wondering about how to figure time since last conjugal visit. He moved out a few months before imprisonment, and they did sleep together sometime during that time, but not since then. Should she count the time he's been in prison? If so, the time is certainly over a year. That was the main question there. But being that she can use the fact that he *is* in prison all on its own, this is also kind of moot.

The site is http://www.ohiodivorceonline.us You have to qualify to file online, but it seems like a very simple question/answer based site/form. It was too late last night to go through it, but I'll come back with more info once I see more. Seems like a good resource though as it also has divorce laws and custody laws. It was a relief to her to know that if she submits a shared parenting plan that is well thought out and reasonable, and he submits some off the wall plan (which is likely) the judge will merely choose hers and possibly make some minor modifications to it.

I was more worried about the alimony issue when he gets out. Its not beyond him to try and make her unable to provide for the kids by getting as much as he can in alimony and then trying to take her back to court to get custody on those grounds. I can't imagine a judge would do that to her, but I've been wrong before. The other scenario we thought of was him asking for alimony equal to the amount of child support so he doesn't have to pay anything.

I was afraid of that. She wants to get this done as quickly and easily as possible and this explains why no attorney wanted to touch her case before. My thinking was that she can get the process started on her own and if he files an answer and/or motion for continuance, then she's not racking up attorney fees waiting for him to get out. When he gets out, she can then hire an attorney. If he doesn't file an answer or motion, she can get it done and over with. She's been through custody hearings before as she was made the legal guardian of her much younger cousin before and has dealt with GALs and such. She's not worried about that, as she has experience there. The moving release date is really the reason I was wondering about multiple filings for continuance.

Yes, I was referring to a request for a default hearing. Thank you.

Thank you for the advice. Trust me, the only part in the proceedings I would play is support for my friend. Worst case scenario, I'll be dragged in front of the judge to swear under oath that I am not romantically involved with her.

 

[Ohiogal]

That site does NOT allow you to file online. All that site does is CHARGE you to fill out the papers and then you have to print the papers off and file them normally.

 

[draygnmage]

Nice. Guess I'm back to the county website to try and find the forms or at least a sample of a divorce complaint. Thanks again.

 

[Ohiogal]

Nice. Guess I'm back to the county website to try and find the forms or at least a sample of a divorce complaint. Thanks again.

What county is she located? Many counties if you look under their dockets online allow you to access actual complaints and other filings for that particular case.