here we go**************.

[Isis1]

California


so, it's been unofficially decided. the husband and I will be filing for divorce.

now, he wants the children to primarily live with him. his work schedule is 7:30am to 11:30am, for his first shift, than a 4:00pm to 7pm shift. Mon-Thursday, Sun 7am to 3pm. now, he wants me to only have the children while he is working on his morning shift. to babysit. then he'll supposedly have his dad take over for his second shift. i am not allowed to have overnights. and i am not to have my two older children anywhere near the two children we share.

now, i haven't told him my proposition yet. cuz i know how he is about not agreeing with him.

i want primary custody with a 50/50 split. but i know the judge won't rule on a 50/50 unless both parents agree. so should i ask for primary custody with an even split after asking for a 50/50? as a back up, or in the same request?

or for primary with an uneven split, working it's way up to a 50/50 schedule?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

California


so, it's been unofficially decided. the husband and I will be filing for divorce.

now, he wants the children to primarily live with him. his work schedule is 7:30am to 11:30am, for his first shift, than a 4:00pm to 7pm shift. Mon-Thursday, Sun 7am to 3pm. now, he wants me to only have the children while he is working on his morning shift. to babysit. then he'll supposedly have his dad take over for his second shift. i am not allowed to have overnights. and i am not to have my two older children anywhere near the two children we share.

now, i haven't told him my proposition yet. cuz i know how he is about not agreeing with him.

i want primary custody with a 50/50 split. but i know the judge won't rule on a 50/50 unless both parents agree. so should i ask for primary custody with an even split after asking for a 50/50? as a back up, or in the same request?

or for primary with an uneven split, working it's way up to a 50/50 schedule?

You're kidding right? and you haven't told him to get bent yet? What is his basis for any of this?

 

[Isis1]

You're kidding right? and you haven't told him to get bent yet? What is his basis for any of this?

i'd like to know the answer to that myself. he claims the two older ones are a bad influence over the babies. he THINKS the older one was slashing at the baby's high chair over a year ago (baby was not in it), but since i refuse to punish him when no one saw it and since i had put the high chair cover in the washer and dryer THAT day, i really believe it was just the plastic melting. it's been "slashed" alot in the dryer since then.

and then the 7 year old his hiding HIS OWN toys from his two year old brother. husband couldn't find 3 toys the 2 year old was playing with, found them on the 7 year old's bed. 7 year old had been playing outside then in the kitchen reading, so was no where near the 2 year old or toys or his bed. i caught the 2 year old trying to climb the bunkbed just minutes prior. but husband wants to blame the 7 year old for it. husband was wrong in his assumptions. but he doesn't like ever being wrong. so his solution is divorce. ha ha. , btw, this occured last night. when i caught the husband being wrong, i told him he was acting like a coward for not being able to admit he was wrong. (just for fairness sake).

and i know he's going to use the whole i take prozac against me as well......

 

[CJane]

Aren't you currently a SAHM?

What's his deal? Why can't the kids you share be around the kids you don't?

You need to be real honest here about ANY accusations he'll be making.

 

[Isis1]

Aren't you currently a SAHM?

What's his deal? Why can't the kids you share be around the kids you don't?

You need to be real honest here about ANY accusations he'll be making.

at this moment, yes i am a stay at home mom. resume will be worked on today as well as looking for job app submittals. most likely, i'll be headed for a few temp agencies this week.

the kids can be around each other, like they are right now at this moment, just it will be an issue during the divorce. he just needs the control. that's all it is. and the only reason i'm not getting worked up over it.

there is no reason. in fact, the two babies fight more then the two older ones.

 

[>Charlotte<]

He's got his knickers in a twist over a toy thing?? For Pete's sake, that's just standard-issue sibling stuff. Is he going to try to terminate your rights altogether if they argue over which channel to watch?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

He's got his knickers in a twist over a toy thing?? For Pete's sake, that's just standard-issue sibling stuff. Is he going to try to terminate your rights altogether if they argue over which channel to watch?

*snort* if he knew what me and my sibs did, he'd have a frackin coronary!

 

[Isis1]

He's got his knickers in a twist over a toy thing?? For Pete's sake, that's just standard-issue sibling stuff. Is he going to try to terminate your rights altogether if they argue over which channel to watch?

knowing him, he just might. at least in the state he is in. he's smarter then the ex. so i have hope he'll calm down and we can actually co-parent together. maybe not in the first few years after the divorce, but later.

you know, from what i can tell, it wasn't even the toy thing. it was being wrong. he HATES being wrong. and i proved it, in seconds. and he HATES that. i'm not allowed to contradict him. he could have just said sorry, he made a mistake. but no, he wants a divorce.

 

[stealth2]

I'm sorry to hear this, Isabella. I doubt he's got a shot in hell, but you do need to protect yourself AND the kids.

We'll help you through it.

 

[Isis1]

I'm sorry to hear this, Isabella. I doubt he's got a shot in hell, but you do need to protect yourself AND the kids.

We'll help you through it.

thanks stealth. i'm just flabbergasted over this. okay, only a little. this is what happens when i stop being run over. stand my ground over the ex, i get tossed around the house. i stand my ground to the husband, and he wants a divorce. blegh.

 

[LdiJ]

California


so, it's been unofficially decided. the husband and I will be filing for divorce.

now, he wants the children to primarily live with him. his work schedule is 7:30am to 11:30am, for his first shift, than a 4:00pm to 7pm shift. Mon-Thursday, Sun 7am to 3pm. now, he wants me to only have the children while he is working on his morning shift. to babysit. then he'll supposedly have his dad take over for his second shift. i am not allowed to have overnights. and i am not to have my two older children anywhere near the two children we share.

now, i haven't told him my proposition yet. cuz i know how he is about not agreeing with him.

i want primary custody with a 50/50 split. but i know the judge won't rule on a 50/50 unless both parents agree. so should i ask for primary custody with an even split after asking for a 50/50? as a back up, or in the same request?

or for primary with an uneven split, working it's way up to a 50/50 schedule?

I would file for primary, and then negotiate in mediation for a 50/50 split. There is no way that he is going to get what he wants. His work schedule is not conducive to primary custody and as a SAHM you have clearly been the primary caregiver for the children.

Therefore, if the mediator is any good, he will realize in mediation that he won't get what he wants if it has to go in front of the judge, therefore he is more likely to concede to the 50/50 that you want.

What he is asking for is of course, ridiculous, but maybe he realizes that too and is hoping for an eventual 50/50 agreement.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

thanks stealth. i'm just flabbergasted over this. okay, only a little. this is what happens when i stop being run over. stand my ground over the ex, i get tossed around the house. i stand my ground to the husband, and he wants a divorce. blegh.

You want I should come over there?

 

[Isis1]

You want I should come over there?

OoooOO, can we have an *exhale* party???????

 

[Isis1]

I would file for primary, and then negotiate in mediation for a 50/50 split. There is no way that he is going to get what he wants. His work schedule is not conducive to primary custody and as a SAHM you have clearly been the primary caregiver for the children.

Therefore, if the mediator is any good, he will realize in mediation that he won't get what he wants if it has to go in front of the judge, therefore he is more likely to concede to the 50/50 that you want.

What he is asking for is of course, ridiculous, but maybe he realizes that too and is hoping for an eventual 50/50 agreement.

well, see, that's the tricky part. i have to start working immediately. so i will have to put them in daycare (which he will fight me for by the way). by the time this gets to court, it won't be that way.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

OoooOO, can we have an *exhale* party???????

I was thinkin more along the lines of Italian Family party... ya know, the big cigar, tuxes and well, you know...
Ya want I should come over dere?

LOL!