His mother is doing drugs, among other things...

[HeNeedsUs]

What is the name of your state? Indiana

ok, child lives with mother
mother does crack cocaine
numerous failed attempts at rehab (including waiting for whoever dropped her off to leave and then leaving herself, and never checking in)
mother recently separated from husband (child has his last name but not biological father)
mother admitted to being with a new man that had "beat her up"
mother also has a daughter from her "husband"
her husband and my boyfriend are "on the same side"
son said that mother went to an appartment and left him in the car while she went up to the appartment, also that the appartment was close to my boyfriend's house (we know that her drug dealer lives in the appartments by my boyfriends house)
mother was i guess kicked out of her home, because it is unfit living conditions. it is not finished, still in the process of being built, but she had both of the kids living there with her.

my boyfriend wants custody, but we are unclear on how to proove that she is unfit. there is so much more to say, but i don't want to take all of your time. should we get a PI to proove the drug use? please help.

 

[dequeendistress]

It would be to the benefit if all allegations are true, that the parent attempting to obtain custody CAN prove irrefutably the allegations.

I would suggest the retention of a reputable attorney.

 

[HeNeedsUs]

what about pi?

do you think we should use a pi to proove the drug use?

 

[dequeendistress]

What do you think? I would suggest the attorney because even if you have the proof via the PI, do you know the ins and outs of court proceedings well enough to represent yourself or are you more intent on proving to yourself that his ex is unfit?

Don't take this the wrong way, it is only to your best interest I state this. Allegations can go back and forth all day long, why not spend the money on the attorney and if s/he feels that you do not have enough without a PI then go for the PI.

 

[HeNeedsUs]

thank you, and no offence taken on that one. i understand where you are comming from. i just wish things didn't have to be so complicateing. i have done a lot of research on this subject, and i think that we have a good chance. it's just the fact of prooving she is using that is the problem.

 

[dequeendistress]

Does she have a criminal history of which you are aware? Such as recent drug convictions a clue would be does she have a probation or parole officer?

 

[HeNeedsUs]

she just recently got arrested.. and was charged with battery (on her husband) and poss. of pot... do you think that will help? it's not the pot that we're that concerned with (don't get me wrong, that's bad too) but it's the crack cocaine that is concerning us more. i hope that didn't come out wrong.

 

[dequeendistress]

The case for the custody will be based on the WHOLE. Is this person or that person most suitable to raise the child, which can do so in the best interest of the CHILD? This is what the judge is going to determine...

SO, ALL relevant information is (sigh) relevant.

But in retrospect being arrested may arise suspicion, no convictions may counter the suspicion. This is why you need an attorney (the fact that you question if an arrest and the causes for are relevant or no)

 

[HeNeedsUs]

she also has no job, nor has she had one for a few months. she also is starting to stay with this man that she admitted to my boyfriend beat her up. my boyfriend has had the same job since he was like 14. and he makes damn good money. he also has primary custody of his 3 yr old daughter, which is from another woman. (his son is 8) i'm sorry if you think my questions are stupid, but i'm just trying to get this all figured out

 

[dequeendistress]

Based on your posts (biased or no) if what you allege is true, the father needs to file for custody of the child. You have brought up more than one valid reason for a change in custody. Remember this is under the assumption that your allegations are true.

I would suggest an attorney to assist the father in this change request. (as stated earlier)

 

[HeNeedsUs]

thank you for your help. i appriciate it!

 

[dequeendistress]

Best of luck.