Holidays and school days

[tblazertn]

What is the name of your state?
Tennessee

My wife is having a disagreement with her ex husband regarding visitation of the children. We’ve just had two days of school canceled due to snow. He says he’s supposed to have them due to the parenting agreement, but she says otherwise.

The section of the parenting agreement is titled “Holiday Schedule and Other School Free Days.” Included are holidays such as New Years Day, Martin Luther King day etc, and alternate between even and odd years for the two of them. There is one particular entry labeled “Other school free days” in which the father gets even numbered years.

Their disagreement comes to the snow days. He says the children should come to him because it means any day out of school, but she says they shouldn’t because the school calendar doesn’t have a planned no school day, such as a holiday not listed on the parenting plan or teacher planning session off day.

Obviously, both cannot be correct, so I’m looking for some outside input. Thank you in advance!

 

[not2cleverRed]

"Other School Free Days" are intended to take into account that there are days on the calendar that the school doesn't have classes planned, but also aren't 'holidays" per se.

Snow days, like all school cancellations due to weather emergencies, are intended to keep people safe. If it were safe to travel, school would be open.

In fact, even if it were his visitation day, per the schedule, if road conditions are perilous, it might be reasonable to withhold visitation time and offer make up time when it is safer to travel.

I say this as someone who made the mistake of "going by the book" and getting stuck waiting in a blizzard outside of Wendy's - closed due to the weather - because my ex didn't want me to pick up the kid earlier, or at least where he lived, because that would mean revealing his address. My then 4 year old had to walk a mile in the blizzard to get to the meeting point - ex had no car. With nothing on her hands. The only thing good that came of that adventure is that I helped some clueless dude get his windshield wipers attached. While waiting in a blizzard. During a travel ban.

Safety comes first. Snow days are not school holidays. At some schools, they are not even school free days - my kid went to school virtually today.

 

[adjusterjack]

What a ridiculous petty thing to fight over.

You're obviously paraphrasing the agreement so there is no way anybody is going to comment about it without reading it word for word.

I suggest you have your wife ask her lawyer for an interpretation of the agreement.

 

[tblazertn]

What a ridiculous petty thing to fight over.

You're obviously paraphrasing the agreement so there is no way anybody is going to comment about it without reading it word for word.

I suggest you have your wife ask her lawyer for an interpretation of the agreement.

What a wonderful non-answer.

Petty, yes. At least I can agree with you on that.

Here's the entire section, non-paraphrased. I'm not inserting the *entire* parenting plan for privacy reasons:

C. HOLIDAY SCHEDULE and OTHER SCHOOL FREE DAYS

Indicate if child or children will be with parent in ODD or EVEN numbered years of EVERY year:

	Mother	Father
New Year's Day	Even	Odd
Martin Luther King Day	Odd	Even
President's Day	Even	Odd
Easter Odd	Odd	Even
Passover Day	Even	Odd
Mother's Day	Every
Memorial Day (if no school)	Odd	Even
Father's Day		Every
July 4th	Even	Odd
Labor Day	Odd	Even
Halloween	Even	Odd
Thanksgiving Day & Friday	Split	Split
Child(ren)'s Birthday	Split	Split
Other School Free Days	Odd	Even
Mother's Birthday	Every
Father's Birthday		Every
Other: _____(blank)_____	_____(blank)_____	_____(blank)_____

A holiday shall begin at 6:00 p.m. on the night preceding the holiday and end at 6:00 p.m. the night of the holiday, unless noted here: ___(blank)____

 

[Just Blue]

What a wonderful non-answer.

Petty, yes. At least I can agree with you on that.

Here's the entire section, non-paraphrased. I'm not inserting the *entire* parenting plan for privacy reasons:

C. HOLIDAY SCHEDULE and OTHER SCHOOL FREE DAYS

Indicate if child or children will be with parent in ODD or EVEN numbered years of EVERY year:

	Mother	Father
New Year's Day	Even	Odd
Martin Luther King Day	Odd	Even
President's Day	Even	Odd
Easter Odd	Odd	Even
Passover Day	Even	Odd
Mother's Day	Every
Memorial Day (if no school)	Odd	Even
Father's Day		Every
July 4th	Even	Odd
Labor Day	Odd	Even
Halloween	Even	Odd
Thanksgiving Day & Friday	Split	Split
Child(ren)'s Birthday	Split	Split
Other School Free Days	Odd	Even
Mother's Birthday	Every
Father's Birthday		Every
Other: _____(blank)_____	_____(blank)_____	_____(blank)_____

A holiday shall begin at 6:00 p.m. on the night preceding the holiday and end at 6:00 p.m. the night of the holiday, unless noted here: ___(blank)____

In no way was Jack's answer a "non-answer". He clearly stated that your wife, one of the two legal parties, call her attorney to ask questions she has regarding her situation. (yeah, I paraphrased a bit, but that is what Jack indicated)

 

[tblazertn]

"Other School Free Days" are intended to take into account that there are days on the calendar that the school doesn't have classes planned, but also aren't 'holidays" per se.

Snow days, like all school cancellations due to weather emergencies, are intended to keep people safe. If it were safe to travel, school would be open.

In fact, even if it were his visitation day, per the schedule, if road conditions are perilous, it might be reasonable to withhold visitation time and offer make up time when it is safer to travel.

I say this as someone who made the mistake of "going by the book" and getting stuck waiting in a blizzard outside of Wendy's - closed due to the weather - because my ex didn't want me to pick up the kid earlier, or at least where he lived, because that would mean revealing his address. My then 4 year old had to walk a mile in the blizzard to get to the meeting point - ex had no car. With nothing on her hands. The only thing good that came of that adventure is that I helped some clueless dude get his windshield wipers attached. While waiting in a blizzard. During a travel ban.

Safety comes first. Snow days are not school holidays. At some schools, they are not even school free days - my kid went to school virtually today.

Thank you for this insightful reply.

 

[stealth2]

Non-legal thought... I think it really depends. What is travel like? Legit bad or was a snow day called based on forecasts that were worse than reality? (We had two snow days this week - Monday was really not warranted and Friday really could have gone either way...) What distances are involved? Which parent is available to be home and/or can make arrangements for the kid/s? (For example, regardless of whose day, if Mom has to work, but Dad is/can be off? Let Dad have the time with the kids.)

These are the kinds of issues courts prefer parents to work out reasonably. I would assume snow days count, but try to work out something that works for all, but especially the kids. Even if it means offering make-up time that Mom may not agree with. JMO

 

[Maymee]

In TN, a snow day isn’t considered a free day. If her ex so wishes, he may petition the court for clarification. He will waste a lot of money, anger the judge, and lose but that’s not y’all’s problem. Tell your wife she can respond once more by telling him to seek clarification with the court and respond no more. To continue the debate with him only feeds the troll. Never feed a troll.

 

[doucar]

What is your basis for a snow day isn't considered a free day?

 

[adjusterjack]

School Free Days

Has anybody thought to ask the school admin what "school free days" mean?

If it isn't defined by the school or the agreement (and I haven't found anything online) then the ex will have to go to court to get a judge to define it. That will, of course, cost him money. But it will also cost your wife money because she will have to go to court to defend her definition.

Apparently, two snow days have already occurred and the children did not go to Dad's house so the question is what is going to happen next time there is a snow day in 2022.

If her concern is that it's unsafe to travel during a snowstorm (reasonable) maybe she can take the high road and voluntarily offer Dad an extra weekend when the sun is shining. That way she can avoid making lawyers happy as they transfer your money into their bank accounts.

Or is now the time that you tell me what a rat bastard he is which is why your wife won't give him an inch?

 

[tblazertn]

Or is now the time that you tell me what a rat bastard he is which is why your wife won't give him an inch?

Don't insult the rats and bastards.

Honestly, we're already in the midst of a contempt motion he filed using false pretenses. We already have a lawyer involved, but haven't had the chance to speak (weather) and I figured I'd go ahead and get an idea for what other people think.

We have worked with him, although he won't admit to it due to his accusations, and we have documented proof of extra days given to him last year. One line item in the motion states: "The children's living situation is unsafe and improper" (motion's wording, not mine) without going into any detail as to why.

Since he's attempting to be a stickler for the rules, we're doing the same. Before anybody brings up the children's interests, any time he asks for extra time, we consult the children for their feelings. They already dread going over to his place for multiple reasons. It's a long story that I won't go any further into. The court date was unfortunately postponed due to the recent weather, so we're back to waiting for a rescheduled date.

 

[stealth2]

At the risk of incurring your wrath, remember that, legally, your involvement wrt any of this is rather moot...

 

[tblazertn]

At the risk of incurring your wrath, remember that, legally, your involvement wrt any of this is rather moot...

Lol, no wrath here. I completely understand that it's between the mother and her ex with the children in the middle. I just pay the lawyer and help gather the evidence.

Edit: and help provide moral support

 

[adjusterjack]

I called it, didn't I.

 

[tblazertn]

In TN, a snow day isn’t considered a free day

I have to admit, I’d be interested in seeing a source or citation for this. It would make things much more clear.