Home ownership

[Brokenmeme]

My boyfriend an I have been together for 6 years, he's wanting his name on the deed. Says he feels insecure that if something happens he's wasted money. I understand that and see his point. We cannot get married right now due to insurance reasons. Is it legal to have paperwork drawer up that states as long as we are together and if something happens to me he will be allowed to live in the home until he passes and the home will not be sold. I'm trying to do what makes us both secure until we're able to marry, just not sure how to go about it.

 

[Just Blue]

My boyfriend an I have been together for 6 years, he's wanting his name on the deed. Says he feels insecure that if something happens he's wasted money. I understand that and see his point. We cannot get married right now due to insurance reasons. Is it legal to have paperwork drawer up that states as long as we are together and if something happens to me he will be allowed to live in the home until he passes and the home will not be sold. I'm trying to do what makes us both secure until we're able to marry, just not sure how to go about it.

What state?

When was the home purchased?
"Wasted" what money?
Do you have children? If so are they his children?

What insurance reason are preventing you from getting married?

 

[Brokenmeme]

What state?

When was the home purchased?
"Wasted" what money?
Do you have children? If so are they his children?

What insurance reason are preventing you from getting married?

Indiana
I purchased the home in 2017
Wasted I guess is money he's spent on home.
I have children, not his.
He has no insurance through work and I have insurance through va

 

[adjusterjack]

he's wanting his name on the deed.

No, no, no. If you put him on the deed he OWNS your house and you'll never get him off without spending a fortune on lawyers, or selling the house and giving him half the proceeds.

Just google something like putting a boyfriend (or girlfriend) on the deed and you'll come up with hundreds, maybe thousands, of nightmare stories from people who said it couldn't happen to us, we're in love, or I trusted.

Says he feels insecure that if something happens he's wasted money.

With that comment I already see the beginning of the end. Whatever he's put into the house was either a gift or rent.

Is it legal to have paperwork drawer up that states as long as we are together and if something happens to me he will be allowed to live in the home until he passes and the home will not be sold.

Yes, it's legal to have a contract like that but it should also state what happens if you break up. You can, and should, also have a will leaving him the house when you die. But do you really want to do that? Will he take care of your kids (that aren't his)? Or would you rather your estate go to your kids and not to your boyfriend.

The chances of you breaking up are substantially greater than you spending your lives together.

He has no insurance through work

That's his problem. What does that have to do with your relationship?

I have insurance through va

VA. like in veteran? That has nothing to do with whether he has insurance or not.

Frankly, that you've been together 6 years and aren't married and he's wanting to be on the deed, also without being married, is raising red flags and alarm bells.

We see this kind of thing quite frequently here and on other sites.

I know - Can't happen, we're in love. I trust him. Yada yada yada.

Tread carefully.

If you want that contract, hire yourself a lawyer, that will act in your interests.

 

[quincy]

My boyfriend an I have been together for 6 years, he's wanting his name on the deed. Says he feels insecure that if something happens he's wasted money. I understand that and see his point. We cannot get married right now due to insurance reasons. Is it legal to have paperwork drawer up that states as long as we are together and if something happens to me he will be allowed to live in the home until he passes and the home will not be sold. I'm trying to do what makes us both secure until we're able to marry, just not sure how to go about it.

Do you have a mortgage? If so, are both of your names on it? If not, I recommend you don’t add your boyfriend’s name to the deed. It is too great a risk to you.

That said, you can discuss your boyfriend’s wishes with an attorney.

 

[Brokenmeme]

No, no, no. If you put him on the deed he OWNS your house and you'll never get him off without spending a fortune on lawyers, or selling the house and giving him half the proceeds.

Just google something like putting a boyfriend (or girlfriend) on the deed and you'll come up with hundreds, maybe thousands, of nightmare stories from people who said it couldn't happen to us, we're in love, or I trusted.



With that comment I already see the beginning of the end. Whatever he's put into the house was either a gift or rent.



Yes, it's legal to have a contract like that but it should also state what happens if you break up. You can, and should, also have a will leaving him the house when you die. But do you really want to do that? Will he take care of your kids (that aren't his)? Or would you rather your estate go to your kids and not to your boyfriend.

The chances of you breaking up are substantially greater than you spending your lives together.



That's his problem. What does that have to do with your relationship?



VA. like in veteran? That has nothing to do with whether he has insurance or not.

Frankly, that you've been together 6 years and aren't married and he's wanting to be on the deed, also without being married, is raising red flags and alarm bells.

We see this kind of thing quite frequently here and on other sites.

I know - Can't happen, we're in love. I trust him. Yada yada yada.

Tread carefully.

If you want that contract, hire yourself a lawyer, that will act in your interests.

I'm not putting him on the deed nor leaving it to him in a will, it will goto my children. That's why I asked about paperwork stating as long as we are in a relationship and until he passes. And he has asked me to marry him but losing my benefits after marriage with no insurance would make life even harder. Thank you for your advice.

 

[Brokenmeme]

Do you have a mortgage? If so, are both of your names on it? If not, I recommend you don’t add your boyfriend’s name to the deed. It is too great a risk to you.

That said, you can discuss your boyfriend’s wishes with an attorney.

No mortgage, I was more interested in response about paperwork. Thank you I'll contact an attorney.

 

[quincy]

I'm not putting him on the deed nor leaving it to him in a will, it will goto my children. That's why I asked about paperwork stating as long as we are in a relationship and until he passes. And he has asked me to marry him but losing my benefits after marriage with no insurance would make life even harder. Thank you for your advice.

You can discuss with an attorney the drafting of a legal agreement that addresses your boyfriend’s concerns while protecting your full rights in the property but adding him to the deed should not be part of that agreement. You are smart to be thinking ahead.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm not putting him on the deed nor leaving it to him in a will, it will goto my children. That's why I asked about paperwork stating as long as we are in a relationship and until he passes. And he has asked me to marry him but losing my benefits after marriage with no insurance would make life even harder. Thank you for your advice.

It is possible to draw something up that would allow him to live in the home until he passes. However, I am uncertain as to whether or not the proviso could be added that you must still be in a relationship when you pass in order for that to happen. However, I will tell you that unless he has put considerable money into the property (more than just paying normal rent) I certainly would not do that.

 

[Zigner]

And he has asked me to marry him but losing my benefits after marriage with no insurance would make life even harder.

Why do you believe you would lose your VA benefits if you marry?

 

[quincy]

Brokenmeme, are you the veteran or are the VA benefits you receive because you are the surviving spouse of a veteran?

 

[zddoodah]

My boyfriend an I have been together for 6 years, he's wanting his name on the deed.

On what deed?

I assume the fact that you didn't tell us but we're supposed to assume is that you and he live together in a house that you own in your name only. Correct?

Says he feels insecure that if something happens he's wasted money.

"Something" like what? I assume he's talking about if you break up. Correct?

We cannot get married right now due to insurance reasons.

What possible "insurance reason" could prevent you from getting married? Why do you think that the fact that "[h]e has no insurance through work and [you] have insurance through [the Veterans' Administration]" would prevent you from getting married?

Is it legal to have paperwork drawer up that states as long as we are together and if something happens to me he will be allowed to live in the home until he passes and the home will not be sold.

Sigh...why are people so afraid of the words "die" and "death"? I'm guessing that "something happens to" you every day of your life.

I think what you're saying here is that, if you die before he dies, you want him to have the right to live in your home until he dies. Correct?

If so, the way you do what you are proposing to do is by creating a life estate. You do that by preparing and recording/filing a deed. Consult with a local attorney. It's not a good DIY project.

 

[quincy]

On what deed? ...

The deed to the house.