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Homeless father back

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I live in DC. My ex husband and I had a visitation agreement where he would get them every 2 weeks Friday- Tuesday until he got diagnosed with bi-polar, evicted and became homeless. Since then he moved to NYC to be homeless there and I have had the kids the entire time. He hasn't seen then in 2 1/2 years. He calls from time to time but is not consistent. All of a sudden on Sunday evening he sends a text message saying he will be picking up the kids after school and keeping them until Monday. He refused to give a location where he and kids will be and it is not like he would be staying with any family in DC with them. Do I have any legal right to call the cops on him if he tries to take them and not tell me a address of residence or location.
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I live in DC. My ex husband and I had a visitation agreement where he would get them every 2 weeks Friday- Tuesday until he got diagnosed with bi-polar, evicted and became homeless. Since then he moved to NYC to be homeless there and I have had the kids the entire time. He hasn't seen then in 2 1/2 years. He calls from time to time but is not consistent. All of a sudden on Sunday evening he sends a text message saying he will be picking up the kids after school and keeping them until Monday. He refused to give a location where he and kids will be and it is not like he would be staying with any family in DC with them. Do I have any legal right to call the cops on him if he tries to take them and not tell me a address of residence or location.
So.... he intends to pick them up this afternoon (3-18) from school and keep them for a week?

Absent wording that he forfeits his parenting time if he doesn't pick them up within a specified period at the start of said time (i.e. Friday), he can pick them up at any point during his time. So, in theory, he could get them Monday and return them Tuesday. (I am assuming that by "vasitation agreement", you mean court order.

Where it gets tricky is whether the weekends which are his via the order are specified.

A few questions before going further. Does the order require either of you to provide contact info - phone and/or address? Also, how old are the children? Is there a reason why you did not modify your order when Dad ran into difficulties?

Be aware that police will generally not enforce a civil court order...
 
To clarify, he intends to pick them up after school this Friday (3/22) and keep them up Monday (3/25). The original custody agreement was he had to pick them up on specified Friday and keep them until Tuesday morning. He could not just pick them up at any time. The kids are 10 and 11 years old.

I did not file an to modify the order when he first ran into difficulties because I did not have an address to serve his papers. I just found out you can severe these type of papers via email.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I live in DC. My ex husband and I had a visitation agreement where he would get them every 2 weeks Friday- Tuesday until he got diagnosed with bi-polar, evicted and became homeless. Since then he moved to NYC to be homeless there and I have had the kids the entire time. He hasn't seen then in 2 1/2 years. He calls from time to time but is not consistent. All of a sudden on Sunday evening he sends a text message saying he will be picking up the kids after school and keeping them until Monday. He refused to give a location where he and kids will be and it is not like he would be staying with any family in DC with them. Do I have any legal right to call the cops on him if he tries to take them and not tell me a address of residence or location.
I am confused. You said that he called on Sunday evening and said that he would be picking them up at school and keeping them until Monday. They would not have been in School Sunday night so can you clarify? Was he talking about keeping them for a full week?

If you mean he plans to pick them up on Friday and keep them until Monday I personally would keep them home from school on Friday...or pick them up an hour early. Then I would immediately file in court to temporarily make dad's visitation supervised by you until such time as the children get comfortable with him and he demonstrates that he has a stable home. You would be violating the court order but the fact that not only did he drop out of their lives for 2 1/2 years (and homeless to boot) but also refuses to tell you where he will be staying with them means that you need to protect the children.
 
To clarify, called me on Sunday (3/17) with intentions to pick them up after school this Friday (3/22) and keep them up Monday (3/25), the weekend.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
If the schedule had continued, 3-22-19 it would technically be one of his weekends.
Is he back in DC permanently? Do you have a phone number for him? Could you arrange a meeting between you and he to discuss the children and the fact that he really needs to proceed slowly with the kids to give them a chance to get to know him again?

Otherwise, I really would immediately file to temporarily suspend or supervise his visitation by you until the best interest of the children can be worked out in court.

I this visit is a one off, just because he will be in DC for the weekend, then I would insist on any visitation being supervised by you.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Is he back in DC permanently? Do you have a phone number for him? Could you arrange a meeting between you and he to discuss the children and the fact that he really needs to proceed slowly with the kids to give them a chance to get to know him again?
These are good questions and I agree with you. The parents should meet to discuss things ahead of the visit.

Otherwise, I really would immediately file to temporarily suspend or supervise his visitation by you until the best interest of the children can be worked out in court.
There is no emergency, thus there would be no type of immediate action by the court.

I this visit is a one off, just because he will be in DC for the weekend, then I would insist on any visitation being supervised by you.
...and if the father insists on a non-supervised visit, then mom's got nowhere to go with this.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
If I were in your shoes... I would call my lawyer ASAP (I'm hoping you used one for this matter); if you did not, I'm going to assume you can get a name or two from acquaintances. Because I would be wanting a modification moving forward. In the meantime, I would return his text as LDi suggested.

ETA: I would also likely pick up a cell phone for the kids.
 
As far as I know, he is not back in DC permanently. I do not know why he will be down here this weekend. I do have a cell phone number for him. I have offered to meet him with the kids since he will be in the area. He has not yet responded


Is he back in DC permanently? Do you have a phone number for him? Could you arrange a meeting between you and he to discuss the children and the fact that he really needs to proceed slowly with the kids to give them a chance to get to know him again?

Otherwise, I really would immediately file to temporarily suspend or supervise his visitation by you until the best interest of the children can be worked out in court.

I this visit is a one off, just because he will be in DC for the weekend, then I would insist on any visitation being supervised by you.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
These are good questions and I agree with you. The parents should meet to discuss things ahead of the visit.

There is no emergency, thus there would be no type of immediate action by the court.

...and if the father insists on a non-supervised visit, then mom's got nowhere to go with this.
Yes she does. She can violate the order in the best interest of the children, while filing a motion in court to temporarily suspend or supervise his visitation until the best interest of the children can be worked out in court. No, it would not be an emergency case but the facts of the matter make it highly unlikely that mom would get dinged with contempt for insisting on supervised visitation only until something gets worked out.

Dad has been or still is homeless and hasn't seen the children in 2 1/2 years, and refuses to tell mom where he will be staying with the children. Him wanting to pick up the children from school and keep them for a weekend is not reasonable. Now, if he was willing to visit a couple of days a week in the evening, at mom's house, for a couple of weeks and then go for a weekend, that might be reasonable.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Yes she does. She can violate the order in the best interest of the children, while filing a motion in court to temporarily suspend or supervise his visitation until the best interest of the children can be worked out in court. No, it would not be an emergency case but the facts of the matter make it highly unlikely that mom would get dinged with contempt for insisting on supervised visitation only until something gets worked out.

Dad has been or still is homeless and hasn't seen the children in 2 1/2 years, and refuses to tell mom where he will be staying with the children. Him wanting to pick up the children from school and keep them for a weekend is not reasonable. Now, if he was willing to visit a couple of days a week in the evening, at mom's house, for a couple of weeks and then go for a weekend, that might be reasonable.
I don't necessarily disagree with you, but I don't think that us advising the OP to violate the court order is proper either. The OP needs to speak to an attorney about this matter, and we shouldn't be advising her to violate the court order.
 

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