curious123
Member
What is the name of your state? NY
My ex-wife had been granted sole custody of my kids and I visitation in 2004 after a series of unfounded lies she initiated once I filed for divorce- we had been seperated for 4 years at the time though and I had already been involved with my stb wife for 2 years. Recently I have been 'allowed' by her to provide day care for my children and in order to prevent any denial of this I have opted not to ask her to sign any documents. Being that the final papers re: the divorce have been recently issued I know that it is going to take a while for me to try to get this court ordered. The situation is that all three of my children (11,7,5) are doing below average at their schools- one (11)to the point of near suspension. My fiancee and I have taken the matter into our hands since we've had them and are actively providing reinforcement of their school work every day and seeing a positive change. They also used to come over QUITE filthy (returning in the same underwear after FOUR days after we sent them over for their mother's weekend) and my son has terrible eczema so he would have terrible rashes all over his skin because he doesn't/isn't bathe/d when he is over there. Both my fiancee and I have relationships with their teachers as well. Now she has called the school specifying that my fiancee not be allowed to pick up the younger two (though her EX-husband-not me- can) which makes things more difficult for us since my daughter goes to another school an hour away- thereby limiting the number of days I can pick up my daughter since I also go to school full time- done purposefully since she is aware that my daughter has a very good relationship with my stb wife and she is intimidated by the extra time we have them now. My questions are- should I go for the ROFR to be issued immediately/asap specifically granting myself and (by that time) wife permission or should I wait the 6 months and file for custody based on educational neglect/poor hygiene habits and of course her return to her job which has facilitated my additional time with my children? Can I do both- Rofr now and custody later? Do I need a lawyer to file for the ROFR? The boys are noticeably cleaner now since they bathe every day we have them so we really cannot prove the hygiene problem and never took pictures of the rashes though my older son always says he never bathes at mummy's house totally unprompted by us. BTW they live across the street from us so there are no displacement issues and my older son cries everyday saying he wants to live with us- though I assume he is too young to make that decision or for his views to be taken into consideration. Finally, she is also in the process of remarrying and her stb husband will also be moving in to her apartment with her bringing up the grand total of tenants to 8 (9 when his daughter comes over EOW) in a 3 bedroom apartment. All things taken into consideration- should I call ACS to address all of the aforementioned issues, especially the last one? I know this is really long but I truly appreciate ANY response I receive.What is the name of your state?
My ex-wife had been granted sole custody of my kids and I visitation in 2004 after a series of unfounded lies she initiated once I filed for divorce- we had been seperated for 4 years at the time though and I had already been involved with my stb wife for 2 years. Recently I have been 'allowed' by her to provide day care for my children and in order to prevent any denial of this I have opted not to ask her to sign any documents. Being that the final papers re: the divorce have been recently issued I know that it is going to take a while for me to try to get this court ordered. The situation is that all three of my children (11,7,5) are doing below average at their schools- one (11)to the point of near suspension. My fiancee and I have taken the matter into our hands since we've had them and are actively providing reinforcement of their school work every day and seeing a positive change. They also used to come over QUITE filthy (returning in the same underwear after FOUR days after we sent them over for their mother's weekend) and my son has terrible eczema so he would have terrible rashes all over his skin because he doesn't/isn't bathe/d when he is over there. Both my fiancee and I have relationships with their teachers as well. Now she has called the school specifying that my fiancee not be allowed to pick up the younger two (though her EX-husband-not me- can) which makes things more difficult for us since my daughter goes to another school an hour away- thereby limiting the number of days I can pick up my daughter since I also go to school full time- done purposefully since she is aware that my daughter has a very good relationship with my stb wife and she is intimidated by the extra time we have them now. My questions are- should I go for the ROFR to be issued immediately/asap specifically granting myself and (by that time) wife permission or should I wait the 6 months and file for custody based on educational neglect/poor hygiene habits and of course her return to her job which has facilitated my additional time with my children? Can I do both- Rofr now and custody later? Do I need a lawyer to file for the ROFR? The boys are noticeably cleaner now since they bathe every day we have them so we really cannot prove the hygiene problem and never took pictures of the rashes though my older son always says he never bathes at mummy's house totally unprompted by us. BTW they live across the street from us so there are no displacement issues and my older son cries everyday saying he wants to live with us- though I assume he is too young to make that decision or for his views to be taken into consideration. Finally, she is also in the process of remarrying and her stb husband will also be moving in to her apartment with her bringing up the grand total of tenants to 8 (9 when his daughter comes over EOW) in a 3 bedroom apartment. All things taken into consideration- should I call ACS to address all of the aforementioned issues, especially the last one? I know this is really long but I truly appreciate ANY response I receive.What is the name of your state?