How can a good father get custody?

[des]

Hi, You probably can't believe I want this advice but I have a Ohio friend who needs it. His ex-girlfriend has custody of his five-year-old daughter whom she apparently uses for the child support- $515 a month. Meanwhile the child has been raising herself. Her mom is a stripper who leaves the girl with her older brother while working and sleeps the rest of the time; leaving the child to fend for herself. The mother is also very vindictive. Someone has taught the kindergartner to write d-i-c-k when asked to write dad. The child is also unruly, unkept at mom's house and is struggling in kindergarten because her mother can't seem to get her there. She has already missed 13 days! My friend on the other hand is a very caring, loving, compassionate father who wants what's best for his daughter but can't find a way in through the system to get her.
He can't find a successful lawyer who is willing to take the case that won't cost him everything. He is also leery of obtaining an out-of-town lawyer because of our small town judge. Can he approach the judge directly? Is there a lawyer out there who would take such a case? If so how could he find one? He's in need and I'd like to help so any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for your time and effort on their behalf.

 

[StarsMoon]

We are going through the SAME thing....

We can relate to your friend's distress. Hubby and I are going through this too. My SS is 7 yrs old and his mother bounces him back and forth from her to her mother(grany). We are in the process of trying to get custody of him. It's really hard since hubby lives in differ state than son, to know that we are getting a GOOD lawyer. To actually fight for this child. Some far the only thing we have been able to do is locate some lawyers in that area from yellowpages on the computer, then hubby sat and called 5,6 of'em on the list. Let me tell you, I'm in the wrong profession. LOL.. anyways we found that this sort of thing IS REALLY expensive and time consumming. Either way we will have pay $1500 retainer, and every hour after, not quite sure,hubby didn't finish telling me. But he did say one lawyer told him she wouldn't even look at the case for no less then $10,000. They also said for him to get private invest. to watch her LIFESTYLE and what and where hubby's child is going with the mother. My mouth hit the floor. We calling tomorrow to see what that is gonna cost.(I think we are going to be in debt for a LONG time.) But, we know what the child's mother is doing and it's not right. Child shouldn't have to be aware of certain unmoral activities that one parent portrays. And hubby feels the same way.(for the best interest of child) So I am standing by my hubby. This is just some of hubby's adventure that I have ELECTED to help him with when I married him.
I will be watching for responses as well. Might just help my hubby too.
Good Luck...

 

[buka]

I just wanted to say that I've been told that children cannot be legally left alone until age 12 and should definitely not be left with small children before that age, so if the older brother is under 12, your friend may have a case for neglect.

 

[frazzledfran]

I too have heard that it is illegal to leave a child below the age of 12 alone... It may however be okay if the sibling is of age for this type of responsibility. I have to say, personally, I would not want my child being raised in that environment either. I hope that the mom spends some type of quality time with your daughter for the childs sake. I wish you luck

 

[soniasaini]

What city in Ohio? It usually helps to hire an attorney who is familiar with the judges in that particular city/county. The $1500 retainer is par for the course. Sounds like your friend needs to document as much as possible before using the first free attorney consultation.

 

[Grandma B]

Has paternity of the child been legally established? What is the legal custody arrangement? Have them even been to court? Has your b.f. been actively involved in the child's life since birth?

 

[smh33]

Check your state laws on modifing or changing custody,see what is provided as reason to pursue.
I also understand 12 is age child can be left alone....cannot qualify further,may be just to leave alone or to leave alone responsible for other children.
Document everything,get docs from school on missed days,etc...
Any chance ex would agree to change and if not is ex going to have money & time to fight the change?
If no court order, go file a motion for custody....judge will give largest consideration to what is best enviroment for child, situation more likely to promote child's best interest.
Good Luck

 

[Ambr]

www.deltabravo.net

this is a pretty interesting website which gives helpful ideas on what to do and what to keep track of when you are the non custodial parent.

you might find it interesting.