How can father take custody from bad mom?

[estella74]

What is the name of your state? Virginia
I had a 4 month relationship and got her pregnant. At the end, she was living in my home bc she was kicked out of her apartment. I gave her $1000 to get a decent apartment when she made it clear she'd rather be homeless that live with me. I have paid her insurance for the past 8 months. I have shown up at every Dr appt she has told me about. She dodges my calls and then says I never call. She has chain smoked through the entire pregnancy, and I think she's still using pot. She has tried to extort money from me, and threatens to run away with the baby. Do I have the right to have the baby drug tested at birth? I know she'll name me as the father bc she wants money. Am a automatically entitled to joint custody? What can I do to take full custody? What do I have to prove? For the record, I have had the same job for 4 years, own a home and do not use drugs at all. Also, I know how bad a mistake this was, I don't need a lecture. Please advise; he's due in a few weeks!

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state? Virginia
I had a 4 month relationship and got her pregnant. At the end, she was living in my home bc she was kicked out of her apartment. I gave her $1000 to get a decent apartment when she made it clear she'd rather be homeless that live with me. I have paid her insurance for the past 8 months. I have shown up at every Dr appt she has told me about. She dodges my calls and then says I never call. She has chain smoked through the entire pregnancy, and I think she's still using pot. She has tried to extort money from me, and threatens to run away with the baby. Do I have the right to have the baby drug tested at birth? I know she'll name me as the father bc she wants money. Am a automatically entitled to joint custody? What can I do to take full custody? What do I have to prove? For the record, I have had the same job for 4 years, own a home and do not use drugs at all. Also, I know how bad a mistake this was, I don't need a lecture. Please advise; he's due in a few weeks!

You need to hire an attorney who will petition the court for a court ordered DNA test once the child is born. First find out if the child is even yours, then file for custody, visitation and child support. DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING AT THE HOSPITAL.

Another excellent website: www.deltabravo.net. Go to the fathers issues board.

 

[bononos]

I'm terrible, but this is what came to my mind.
Will you be there for the delivery and after while she's in the hospital?
If so, head to your local drug store, buy a urine drug test. Change the baby's diaper when wet and test the urine without her knowledge.
If it comes back positive, mention it to a nurse.

Now, if this is illegal in some way, please correct me!!!!!! ASAP

 

[VeronicaGia]

I'm terrible, but this is what came to my mind.
Will you be there for the delivery and after while she's in the hospital?
If so, head to your local drug store, buy a urine drug test. Change the baby's diaper when wet and test the urine without her knowledge.
If it comes back positive, mention it to a nurse.

Now, if this is illegal in some way, please correct me!!!!!! ASAP

This won't hold up in court. The hospital would have to administer the test for drugs. The court will have to order the DNA test.

 

[bononos]

Not his test, but if he shows the nurse then they will be inclined to test the baby as well since there is good reason?
A test administered by the hospital would be.

 

[LdiJ]

Not his test, but if he shows the nurse then they will be inclined to test the baby as well since there is good reason?
A test administered by the hospital would be.

I think it would be better if he simply told the hospital that he believes that mom has been smoking pot. Quite a few routinely test anyway.

 

[bononos]

That's a much less sneakier approach.

I just figured they only tested if there were signs or symptons.