How difficult to win full custody

[boilermaker83]

What is the name of your state? Md

I really don't know what info is needed so I guess I'll start with the background story and end with the question. Sorry if it's overkill. So, here we go-

After being told that now CP is pregnant, CP and NCP agree to abort pregnancy. CP later decides against it and moves out of state. NCP agrees to pay CS after pat test is done and to see child as often as possible. After child is born NCP tells CP that he wants pat test done, then if child is his he wants shared custody and wants child for holidays. CP has her mother threaten to sue NCP if he pursues paternity and custody of child. A few months later CP petitions for full custody & support in her county of residence. She argued that NCP was not fit to be a parent for such inane reasons as he drank alcohol. Case was dismissed so that paternity and support could be determined in correct jurisdiction- NCP's home county. CP goes thru her home state's CSA to estbl paternity and support obligation. Paternity has now been established over a year and half after the fact.

NCP either wants full custody or none (including visitiation) at all due to various reasons. CP has undocumented history of mental illness, including suicidal ideation. She was allegedly abused as a child and young adult by various men. Not sure if this is true, because CP has basically said that every man she has had any relation with has raped, beaten, or molested her. CP has also said that NCP has a temper and was verbally abusive towards her- this is untrue. CP is now living with her ex-husband, whom unbeknownst to NCP she was married to at the time of conception and well after the birth. CP has made it known that ex-husband "beat her while detoxing from cocaine," was controlling, and "pushed her around." CP also made it known that her ex-husband had been arrested on drug charges and was in jail a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, the charges were dropped.

CP also has inconsistent work history. Was fired from one job for stealing money from company, fired from another for missing too much work. Only able to work part-time retail jobs until family member gave her a job. Was later fired from that job for unknown reasons.

The child is also sick frequently- at least once a month. Might have something to do with the CP giving her french fries since she was 8 months old. There are many other things to be said about the CP, but I want to try and keep this as short as possible.

NCP has held a job w/ same company for over four years, earns a decent salary, owns his own house, is married with one child, lives a very stable and healthy life. Unfortunately, due to legal situation has never been able to see this other child.

CP has made it very clear with her behavior that she is only interested in money and will perjure herself if necessary in order to keep child to herself. So, I was curious as to what everyone thought about NCP's chances as to winning full custody based on CP's current living situation, work history, etc.

I know this is a total white trash fest, but there is still a child involved- a child who is at risk for emotional and physical trauma if left with mother. So please keep trailer park references to yourself. NCP made a mistake and just wants to make it right, please honor that.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Md

I really don't know what info is needed so I guess I'll start with the background story and end with the question. Sorry if it's overkill. So, here we go-

After being told that now CP is pregnant, CP and NCP agree to abort pregnancy. CP later decides against it and moves out of state. NCP agrees to pay CS after pat test is done and to see child as often as possible. After child is born NCP tells CP that he wants pat test done, then if child is his he wants shared custody and wants child for holidays. CP has her mother threaten to sue NCP if he pursues paternity and custody of child. A few months later CP petitions for full custody & support in her county of residence. She argued that NCP was not fit to be a parent for such inane reasons as he drank alcohol. Case was dismissed so that paternity and support could be determined in correct jurisdiction- NCP's home county. CP goes thru her home state's CSA to estbl paternity and support obligation. Paternity has now been established over a year and half after the fact.

What did her mother threaten to sue the ncp for?

NCP either wants full custody or none (including visitiation) at all due to various reasons.

If ncp were to get full custody mom WOULD get visitation. So he would still have to deal with mom no matter what.

CP has undocumented history of mental illness, including suicidal ideation. She was allegedly abused as a child and young adult by various men. Not sure if this is true, because CP has basically said that every man she has had any relation with has raped, beaten, or molested her. CP has also said that NCP has a temper and was verbally abusive towards her- this is untrue. CP is now living with her ex-husband, whom unbeknownst to NCP she was married to at the time of conception and well after the birth. CP has made it known that ex-husband "beat her while detoxing from cocaine," was controlling, and "pushed her around." CP also made it known that her ex-husband had been arrested on drug charges and was in jail a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, the charges were dropped.

Can the ncp prove, with hard, cold evidence that mom has untreated mental illnesses? Can the ncp prove, with hard, cold evidence that her ex has drug problems?
If not, that's not going to be of much help.

CP also has inconsistent work history. Was fired from one job for stealing money from company, fired from another for missing too much work. Only able to work part-time retail jobs until family member gave her a job. Was later fired from that job for unknown reasons.

Completely irrelevant

The child is also sick frequently- at least once a month. Might have something to do with the CP giving her french fries since she was 8 months old. There are many other things to be said about the CP, but I want to try and keep this as short as possible.

French fries would not be the cause of frequent illnesses. Frequent illness are also not always a sign of neglect. However, again, if the ncp does not have a relationship with the child, how does the ncp know that the child is ill so frequently?

NCP has held a job w/ same company for over four years, earns a decent salary, owns his own house, is married with one child, lives a very stable and healthy life. Unfortunately, due to legal situation has never been able to see this other child.

The ncp's job status is also irrelevant.

CP has made it very clear with her behavior that she is only interested in money and will perjure herself if necessary in order to keep child to herself. So, I was curious as to what everyone thought about NCP's chances as to winning full custody based on CP's current living situation, work history, etc.

Unless the ncp has hard evidence of untreated mental illness and the drug issues, the ncp has little to nothing. A judge isn't going to remove a child from their primary caregiver, and give him/her to someone who is a stranger to the child (parent or not) unless the primary caregiver can be proven legally unfit. Its also NOT going to help the ncp at all that he either wants all...or nothing. That alone is likely to send a judge off the deep end.

 

[MomTryin2Improv]

This 'all or none' choice is crap. The poor sick kid (how do you know the kid is sick all of the time if NCP has never seen the kid??) only deserves a father if the NCP gets full custody? Pathetic.

It doesn't sound like you have a case against mom. None of what you are saying makes her unfit (as far as I know, but wait for one of the senior members to answer that one). Maybe CP and NCP should try to work something out so that JR. gets two parents. Kids are not commodities.

 

[boilermaker83]

What did her mother threaten to sue the ncp for?

I think it was for abandonment, which we werent entirely sure they could do that. NCP & CP only knew eachother for approx. three weeks before conception and the relationship only lasted about six weeks. CP also left state on her own accord. Mother did mention suing for reimbursement for driving CP to doc visits and for caring for CP while she was pregnant. Her mother is the CP's attorney's paralegal.

If ncp were to get full custody mom WOULD get visitation. So he would still have to deal with mom no matter what.

Totally aware of that, but at least NCP would have control of medical and legal decisions. Plus, any lies the CP would make about abuse would hopefully be less poignant if NCP had full custody. CP has already said that her mother threatened to sue because she thought NCP would kidnap her daughter. NCP has given no reason for her to think that. CP will also make visitation impossible if she is awarded full custody.

Can the ncp prove, with hard, cold evidence that mom has untreated mental illnesses? Can the ncp prove, with hard, cold evidence that her ex has drug problems?
If not, that's not going to be of much help.

There is an arrest record for ex-hubby as well statements CP made in emails. No convictions though- so that probably wont help.

French fries would not be the cause of frequent illnesses. Frequent illness are also not always a sign of neglect. However, again, if the ncp does not have a relationship with the child, how does the ncp know that the child is ill so frequently?

The child has episodes of vomitting to the point of dry-heaving and explosive diarrhea. As to how this is known- PI.

As far as the all or nothing idea- we are literally afraid of the CP. The child will more than likely be removed from the home eventually, but we'd rather not wait around for that to happen.

 

[Halls]

How does a PI know that the child has explosive vomiting and diahrea at least once a month? How a PI got this info I would be curious to know. Is it by the child's medical records? Like is mom taking the child to the doctor each time this is happening? Cause is if this is the case than it sounds to me mom cares for her child enough to take the child to the doctor. Also, if a PI got this info than what makes you assume it was from eating french fries all the time? I'm thinking you are having the mom followed as you are getting reports she is taking the kid to McDonald's often. But how in the world those 2 are related we'd love to know.

You DH has no case and honestly it all sounds a bit rediculous. JUst because the CP has said she has mental illeness in a e-mail does not mean a thing. And even if she did untreated mental illness is not going to mean the child should be living away from the mother. As long as the child isn't hurt, abused or neglected, than mom can untreat her mental illness all she wants. Heck, my best friends SS's mom has untreated bipolar and is real nutty but no court is going to take her kids away from her and she has done some serious things.

I think your hubby's best luck is to task for visitation and seek to get along with the mother, not have a PI following her around. Seeing he wants all or nothing shows he really doesn't care for the child since he is willing to walk away completely if it doesn't go his way. So selfish!

 

[LdiJ]

I think it was for abandonment, which we werent entirely sure they could do that. NCP & CP only knew eachother for approx. three weeks before conception and the relationship only lasted about six weeks. CP also left state on her own accord. Mother did mention suing for reimbursement for driving CP to doc visits and for caring for CP while she was pregnant. Her mother is the CP's attorney's paralegal.

If he had consulted an attorney he would have known that to be the "bluff" that it was.

Totally aware of that, but at least NCP would have control of medical and legal decisions. Plus, any lies the CP would make about abuse would hopefully be less poignant if NCP had full custody. CP has already said that her mother threatened to sue because she thought NCP would kidnap her daughter. NCP has given no reason for her to think that. CP will also make visitation impossible if she is awarded full custody.

Here is the deal....judges almost NEVER award full custody to EITHER parent these days.
Its almost always joint legal custody (joint decision making) so the odds of either parent getting full custody are slim to none.

There is an arrest record for ex-hubby as well statements CP made in emails. No convictions though- so that probably wont help.

No it won't help if he wasn't convicted. The emails are not hard evidence either. A judge is unlikely to find a parent unfit on the basis of emails.

The child has episodes of vomitting to the point of dry-heaving and explosive diarrhea. As to how this is known- PI.

And how did a PI get their hands on medical records? Are you prepared to explain that to a judge?

Dad needs to get an enforceable visitation schedule with the child and joint legal custody to start. That is the only way that he is going to develop enough of a relationship with the child to make primary custody even remotely possible. He has no basis to prove mom legally unfit and is a stranger to the child at this point.