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How likely is it that I will be forced to pay child support?

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tutord

New member
What is the name of your state? I live in Washington, but my biological daughter and her mother live in California.

So back in high school I got a girl (let's call her Sarah) pregnant. She didn't want me to be the dad though. She wanted her friend (Let's call him Dan) because he had a rich family. I just went along with it and didn't say anything. We were all seniors at the time so I went off to college and didn't hear much more about it except that they got married and that the child was a girl.

We recently had our 10 year high school reunion. That's when I found out that Dan and Sarah had gotten divorced several years ago. Sarah also found out what I do for a living and she is assuming I have and make more money than Dan (his parents apparently cut him off and he is currently a delivery driver. So now she is demanding I pay her child support. She has threatened to take me to court for child support I should have previously been paying as well if I do not pay her.

I have also found out that Dan is paying Sarah court ordered child support and that he is a very involved parent and doesn't want the paternity of his daughter to be questioned. So if I got this right child support is already currently being paid by the child's legal father and that Sarah is trying to get double the money. Is that allowed?
 


zddoodah

Active Member
So back in high school I got a girl (let's call her Sarah) pregnant.
How do you know? Was a paternity test done after the child was born? When was "back in high school" (i.e., when was the child born)? Sounds like it's somewhere around 2011/12. Was the child born in California or Washington (or somewhere else)? Who (if anyone) is listed as the father on the child's birth certificate?


She didn't want me to be the dad though. She wanted her friend (Let's call him Dan) because he had a rich family. I just went along with it and didn't say anything. We were all seniors at the time so I went off to college and didn't hear much more about it except that they got married and that the child was a girl.
A woman does not get choose after the fact who the father of her child is. It sounds to me like no one concerned themselves with actually figuring out who the father was. Correct?


So now she is demanding I pay her child support. She has threatened to take me to court for child support I should have previously been paying as well if I do not pay her.

I have also found out that Dan is paying Sarah court ordered child support and that he is a very involved parent and doesn't want the paternity of his daughter to be questioned. So if I got this right child support is already currently being paid by the child's legal father and that Sarah is trying to get double the money. Is that allowed?
Is it allowed for her to try? Sure. However, if Dan is paying child support, that means that, at some point, he was adjudicated to be the child's father. Assuming that happened more than a year or two ago, that should be the end of the discussion. Also, even if you were adjudicated to be the child's father, you could not be ordered to pay "child support [you] should have previously been paying." Unless you really want to insert yourself into this child's life and the apparent mess that is Sarah, I'd suggest cutting off all contact with her. You could also consult with a family law attorney, but I don't think that's necessary unless you hear from a lawyer representing Sarah or are served with court papers.
 

tutord

New member
How do you know? Was a paternity test done after the child was born? When was "back in high school" (i.e., when was the child born)? Sounds like it's somewhere around 2011/12. Was the child born in California or Washington (or somewhere else)? Who (if anyone) is listed as the father on the child's birth certificate?




A woman does not get choose after the fact who the father of her child is. It sounds to me like no one concerned themselves with actually figuring out who the father was. Correct?




Is it allowed for her to try? Sure. However, if Dan is paying child support, that means that, at some point, he was adjudicated to be the child's father. Assuming that happened more than a year or two ago, that should be the end of the discussion. Also, even if you were adjudicated to be the child's father, you could not be ordered to pay "child support [you] should have previously been paying." Unless you really want to insert yourself into this child's life and the apparent mess that is Sarah, I'd suggest cutting off all contact with her. You could also consult with a family law attorney, but I don't think that's necessary unless you hear from a lawyer representing Sarah or are served with court papers.
No paternity test was ever done. I don't know when the child was born. It was sometime in the summer after our senior year of high school. We graduated in 2012. I'm assuming the child was born in California as both Dan and Sarah continued to live there. Dan is listed as the father on the birth certificate. Dan doesn't want a paternity test done because he doesn't want anyone questioning him being the father. He also doesn't want his daughter to find out she's not his.
 

adjusterjack

Senior Member
Then tell Sarah to pound sand.

If nothing comes of it, there's nothing to worry about.

If you're going to be sued, it'll happen whether your worry about it or not, and you handle it when it happens.

Meantime fageddaboudit.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
In California, it would be virtually impossible (but not 100% impossible) for the parentage of a child that was born in the marriage 10 years ago to be challenged. Same for a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity. I think she's blowing big clouds of thick, legalized smoke up your rear end. I'm with @adjusterjack - tell her to pound sand then don't worry about it until something happens.
 

Taxing Matters

Overtaxed Member
Did Dan ever get around to adopting the child? Who is listed on the birth certificate/affidavit of paternity as the father? Did they marry before the child was born?
 

tutord

New member
Did Dan ever get around to adopting the child? Who is listed on the birth certificate/affidavit of paternity as the father? Did they marry before the child was born?
Dan did not adopt the child, but he said he signed the birth certificate. They did get married before the child was born.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Did Dan ever get around to adopting the child? Who is listed on the birth certificate/affidavit of paternity as the father? Did they marry before the child was born?
In post #3, it states that the other guy is listed as the father on the birth certificate.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Dan did not adopt the child, but he said he signed the birth certificate. They did get married before the child was born.
He did not sign the birth certificate, rather, if he signed anything, it was a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity. I don't believe that even that was necessary, as they were married when the child was born.
 

Taxing Matters

Overtaxed Member
Dan did not adopt the child, but he said he signed the birth certificate. They did get married before the child was born.
Okay, so he signed the affidavit of paternity, is listed on the the birth certificate as the father, they were married when the child was born, and he did not contest paternity during the child support proceedings. More over, he has had and continues to have a very active role in the child's life and wants that role. Given all that, it's extremely unlikely that the mother could now dislodge him as the legal father and have you named as the father just to boost the child support she gets. She should be grateful that her ex wants to shoulder the role as father. It's beneficial for the child and, though she may not recognize it, it benefits her, too.
 

zddoodah

Active Member
Dan is listed as the father on the birth certificate.
They did get married before the child was born.
Then that's all she wrote. There's no way for Dan's paternity to be challenged at this point. Until and unless she initiates an action to determine paternity, I repeat my suggestion that you cut off all contact (again, unless you really want to interject yourself into this child's life).


This thread is a good argument for avoiding reunions.
Seriously!
 

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