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TheRightThing

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Hawaii

Hi.

I'm going to court soon to try and win joint physical and legal custody of my three month old son. His mother and I were never married and the baby has only lived with her so far(of course). I can't afford an attorney but I've been told that I should be able to handle everything on my own.

What I need to know is if anyone has any advice on how to proceed and if anyone knows where I can find more information on child custody laws.

This baby's mother is a little angry at me right now and doesn't want me to have any type of shared custody and she wants supervised visitation. How should I handle this?

Right now my son's mother doesn't seem to be willing to respect the boundaries I have put up regarding our relationship. I have made it very clear that I am uninterested in a romantic relationship but she refuses to acknowledge that. She continues to say innapropriate things and when I ask her to stop she threatens to try and keep me from seeing/being with my son. Right now she is saying that she only wants me in our son's life as a friend or uncle type figure. This is unacceptable. What can I do?

Thanks so much for any help you can offer.
 
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TheRightThing

Junior Member
We took the paternity test a few weeks ago and are expecting the results within the next 2 weeks. I am fairly sure the child is mine so I'm trying to prepare.

She's angry with me because she thinks that we should be romantically involved. I am already in a serious relationship (in fact, I was in it before I met and slept with my son's mother but we were on a short break) and I'm unwilling to leave my girlfriend. It sounds bad but my son's mother was just a one night stand. The condom broke and so here we are. I'm trying to do the right thing.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
TheRightThing said:
What is the name of your state? Hawaii

Hi.

I'm going to court soon to try and win joint physical and legal custody of my three month old son. His mother and I were never married and the baby has only lived with her so far(of course). I can't afford an attorney but I've been told that I should be able to handle everything on my own.

What I need to know is if anyone has any advice on how to proceed and if anyone knows where I can find more information on child custody laws.

This baby's mother is a little angry at me right now and doesn't want me to have any type of shared custody and she wants supervised visitation. How should I handle this?

Thanks so much for any help you can offer.
Realistically, the odds of getting 50/50 time (if that is what you meant) with an infant is pretty slim. It could be quite traumatic for a baby who can't understand what is going on.

Generally, visitation does start out supervised by the mother (or someone else that the baby knows well) so that the baby has a chance to bond with you in an environment where the baby is comfortable. Then visitation normally increases on a phased in type of plan.

Here is the link to the parenting time guidelines for my state. Its not your state, but it can give you an idea of what a typical plan is for an infant. If you go into court with a plan that works its way up gradually to a truely shared schedule...you will make points with the judge.

http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/#index
 

xKellyx

Member
TheRightThing said:
We took the paternity test a few weeks ago and are expecting the results within the next 2 weeks. I am fairly sure the child is mine so I'm trying to prepare.

She's angry with me because she thinks that we should be romantically involved. I am already in a serious relationship (in fact, I was in it before I met and slept with my son's mother but we were on a short break) and I'm unwilling to leave my girlfriend. It sounds bad but my son's mother was just a one night stand. The condom broke and so here we are. I'm trying to do the right thing.

I think you need to talk to Jerry Springer......
 

TheRightThing

Junior Member
xKellyx said:
I think you need to talk to Jerry Springer......
Why? Because a condom broke? Because this isn't a perfect situation? I'm trying to do the right thing in an imprefect situation. What is extreme or ridiculous enough about that for Jerry Springer?
 

TheRightThing

Junior Member
LdiJ said:
Realistically, the odds of getting 50/50 time (if that is what you meant) with an infant is pretty slim. It could be quite traumatic for a baby who can't understand what is going on.

Generally, visitation does start out supervised by the mother (or someone else that the baby knows well) so that the baby has a chance to bond with you in an environment where the baby is comfortable. Then visitation normally increases on a phased in type of plan.

Here is the link to the parenting time guidelines for my state. Its not your state, but it can give you an idea of what a typical plan is for an infant. If you go into court with a plan that works its way up gradually to a truely shared schedule...you will make points with the judge.

http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/#index
Thanks! I will look it over and try to come up with something similar.
 

TheRightThing

Junior Member
Does anybody know the best way to deal with her anger? She has threatened to try and restrict visitation so that our child is never around my girlfriend (who I live with).
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
TheRightThing said:
Does anybody know the best way to deal with her anger? She has threatened to try and restrict visitation so that our child is never around my girlfriend (who I live with).
Only time and civility on your part is probably going to difuse that. While its not terribly likely that she can have your girlfriend restricted from visitation, its not terribly unusual for a judge to order that either.

Keep your girlfriend out of your dealings with mom.
 

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