How to file when you can't find spouse?

[SopranoKris]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

Hi all,

Many of you know me from the Child Custody & Visitation threads a few years ago. I know this forum frowns on 3rd party questions. However, I'm helping a friend who is bi-polar and isn't functioning too well on her own right now. She's staying with me until she can get back on her feet.

2 years ago, her husband left her for another woman. She also lost her job in the same week. She was evicted from their apartment and their car was re-possessed because she couldn't afford to pay the bills on her own.

He never filed for divorce and she was so distraught with becoming suddenly homeless, that she didn't know what to do. After not hearing from her in a long time, I finally found out where she was and was able to get her a plane ticket to Illinois to come stay with me for a while. She's my best friend and like a sister to me.

I told her one of the first things she needs to do is to file for divorce. However, we have NO IDEA where her ex might be. They were married in FL and as far as she knows, he's still living in FL. How would she go about filing if she is unable to locate an address for him? His last known address is the apartment they were evicted from.

She is unable to afford an attorney (and I certainly can't help pitch in any...I'm broke from my divorce!) and I'm going to try to help her get the paperwork together that she needs. I'm just unsure of how she should proceed when we don't know where her ex is.

Any advice would be most helpful so I can assist her with getting the process started.

Thanks so much!!!

 

[mistoffolees]

She can file for divorce by publication. However, this is very difficult to do without an attorney.

 

[xylene]

I told her one of the first things she needs to do is to file for divorce.

The first thing she needs to do is get her psychiatric problems under control to the degree that she can start supporting herself and earning an income.

Then she can put together some money for a lawyer and or resources to serve husband, because this is sure to be less than 100% straightforward.

 

[SopranoKris]

Thanks for the quick reply, mistoffolees! Does that mean she needs to publish a notice in the paper in FL?

I wish she could afford an attorney, but all she has left to her name is less than $150 and the items in her suitcase. She was practically homeless when I finally found her. Poor girl has been through the ringer!

Her ex has a very unusual name, so I'm hoping an address might pop up if we do a people finder search for him later today. She's going to have to do this without an attorney, unfortunately. I just don't have the monetary resources to help and until she can get back on her meds to be functional, she can't work right now.

Thanks again! Any advice is helpful!!!!

 

[Silverplum]

Thanks for the quick reply, mistoffolees! Does that mean she needs to publish a notice in the paper in FL?

I wish she could afford an attorney, but all she has left to her name is less than $150 and the items in her suitcase. She was practically homeless when I finally found her. Poor girl has been through the ringer!

Her ex has a very unusual name, so I'm hoping an address might pop up if we do a people finder search for him later today. She's going to have to do this without an attorney, unfortunately. I just don't have the monetary resources to help and until she can get back on her meds to be functional, she can't work right now.

Thanks again! Any advice is helpful!!!!

Tinker is good with FL law, and so is Gracie3787. In fact, if you search Gracie's posts, she usually posts the free FL legal help number.

 

[SopranoKris]

The first thing she needs to do is get her psychiatric problems under control to the degree that she can start supporting herself and earning an income.

Then she can put together some money for a lawyer and or resources to serve husband, because this is sure to be less than 100% straightforward.

The first thing we did was go to State of Illinois DHS to see about Medicaid & food stamps. She was denied Medicaid because she has no children and is not currently pregnant. Her food stamps won't come through until August. She really wants to work, but it's like a vicious catch-22. Can't afford meds to help her condition so she can't hold down a job. She needs to hold down a job so she can afford meds. I've called several mental health facilities and they won't help her (with no insurance/Medicaid) unless she becomes a danger to herself. I don't know what else to do, other than be supportive of her and try to help her in any way possible.

Yes, I agree...it's going to be less than 100% straightforward to resolve this.

 

[SopranoKris]

Tinker is good with FL law, and so is Gracie3787. In fact, if you search Gracie's posts, she usually posts the free FL legal help number.

THANK YOU, Silver!!! I will do some searching on Gracie's & Tinker's postings. I really appreciate your help

 

[Silverplum]

THANK YOU, Silver!!! I will do some searching on Gracie's & Tinker's postings. I really appreciate your help

You're totally welcome, though I didn't do much at all.

Please give your friend a hug and a smile from me, and tell her it's gonna be okay in time, and that I wish her well.

And I wish you well, too.

 

[xylene]

Can't afford meds to help her condition so she can't hold down a job. She needs to hold down a job so she can afford meds.

Basic meds for biploar (like lithium or depakote) can be very reasonable if purchased online.

It is a struggle.

Your desire to help is laudable.

Make sure that you don't help too much, because whatever recovery she makes she has to be able to do it sustainably without your intervention.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks for the quick reply, mistoffolees! Does that mean she needs to publish a notice in the paper in FL?

It's not that simple. I don't know a lot about service by publication, but I know that it has to be done properly or the effort is invalid. Use the self-help numbers if you can find them on this site or elsewhere, but I really think it's an uphill battle to do it without an attorney.

I wish she could afford an attorney, but all she has left to her name is less than $150 and the items in her suitcase. She was practically homeless when I finally found her. Poor girl has been through the ringer!

Her ex has a very unusual name, so I'm hoping an address might pop up if we do a people finder search for him later today. She's going to have to do this without an attorney, unfortunately. I just don't have the monetary resources to help and until she can get back on her meds to be functional, she can't work right now.

Thanks again! Any advice is helpful!!!!

I think that is much more likely to be a good solution. If she can track him down and get him properly served, it is likely to be less expensive, less complicated, and more 'sure' than trying to to it by publication. There are a lot of ways to track someone online. One of my favorites is switchboard.com, although there are dozens of others (including the people finder you're referring to - although that one costs money).

In fact, depending on circumstances, it might even be better to pay for a private investigator rather than service by publication since the latter will probably require an attorney while the former may not.

One thing to consider. Florida may not be the right place to file. If she has been in IL long enough to establish residency (90 days), it might make more sense to file there. Keep in mind that IL would not have jurisdiction over any of the marital assets if husband stayed in FL, but it doesn't sound like that's an issue. It would certainly be more convenient to get divorced in IL.

So if she's been in IL for 90 days, do a search to see if there is any IL self-help (for example, if you're anywhere near Carbondale, this might help: SIU School of Law)