How to get Guardian Ad Litem

[Prima]

Florida--

My ex-boyfriend took me to court upon birth of our child 22 months ago. He gained his rights and a visitation schedule in Florida For 22 months, he has been using the courts to harass me; uses visits for trying to start fights; changing the rules of visitation almost monthly; won't show for visits unless he can see me too; etc..

I have come to want a guardian ad litem. He has Aspergers and regularly makes mistakes which are dangerous or neglectful (like having her for a day and never feeding her; or letting her walk into streets alone). I have no more money for attorney's but want my child represented. On the request form, what is the best reason to give that would likely ensure having my request for guardian ad litem approved?

Also, what if he should deny the aspergers? I can't pay for testing although a court ordering those tests would be helpful.

MP

 

[Isis1]

Florida--

My ex-boyfriend took me to court upon birth of our child 22 months ago. He gained his rights and a visitation schedule in Florida For 22 months, he has been using the courts to harass me; uses visits for trying to start fights; changing the rules of visitation almost monthly; won't show for visits unless he can see me too; etc..

I have come to want a guardian ad litem. He has Aspergers and regularly makes mistakes which are dangerous or neglectful (like having her for a day and never feeding her; or letting her walk into streets alone). I have no more money for attorney's but want my child represented. On the request form, what is the best reason to give that would likely ensure having my request for guardian ad litem approved?

Also, what if he should deny the aspergers? I can't pay for testing although a court ordering those tests would be helpful.

MP

you would file a motion with the court to assign one.

what is your court ordered visitation for dad? when you say he changes the rules, how is he changing anything?

 

[Prima]

Right..on the motion it reads that a guardian ad litem is in the best interest of the child because:_____

I don't know what will ensure the likelihood of a "yes" from the judge.

As for his visitation, we filed a visitation agreement in February which was a part of the final order. It changes as she matures.. right now, he gets twice per week and every other saturday for 3 hours each.

He changes this often. For instance: for 2 months he demanded I be present on the visits. Then he demanded I not only be present but hang out with him. Then he demanded to have her alone. He did that once and then wanted to hang out with me present again. So I did that. Then he demanded her alone again then screamed at me "DONT YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!" After 10 months of going on these visits where I play with her while he watches, I got a job and said "no more" and send her off with him. He complains insessantly and comes to my door every hour of his visits trying to start fights.

My work schedule is changing so I will no longer be present for the exchange so he's dragging me back to court to have the judge order that he can pick the baby up before I leave at 5am and bring her back after I return at 4pm (so he can see me) and he wants this 4 days per week "to start" he says.

you would file a motion with the court to assign one.

what is your court ordered visitation for dad? when you say he changes the rules, how is he changing anything?

 

[Isis1]

Right..on the motion it reads that a guardian ad litem is in the best interest of the child because:_____

I don't know what will ensure the likelihood of a "yes" from the judge.

As for his visitation, we filed a visitation agreement in February which was a part of the final order. It changes as she matures.. right now, he gets twice per week and every other saturday for 3 hours each.

He changes this often. For instance: for 2 months he demanded I be present on the visits. Then he demanded I not only be present but hang out with him. Then he demanded to have her alone. He did that once and then wanted to hang out with me present again. So I did that. Then he demanded her alone again then screamed at me "DONT YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!" After 10 months of going on these visits where I play with her while he watches, I got a job and said "no more" and send her off with him. He complains insessantly and comes to my door every hour of his visits trying to start fights.

My work schedule is changing so I will no longer be present for the exchange so he's dragging me back to court to have the judge order that he can pick the baby up before I leave at 5am and bring her back after I return at 4pm (so he can see me) and he wants this 4 days per week "to start" he says.

if you leave at 5am...where is the baby? daycare? family caretaker?

 

[Prima]

I am a private nanny. She goes to work with me. He has only started being alone with her for 3 hours over the last 8 weeks because I quit doing his visits for him. In that time, he had 20 visits of which he only exercised 5 because I'm not there entertaining the baby for him.

 

[goddessoflubboc]

You say in the first post that the father has Asperger's, then you talk about having him tested. Is he self-diagnosed? Or has a doc dx'd him at some point?

If he does have Asperger's, sticking to a rigid schedule and difficulties with change are common. When he forgets to feed the baby all day, does he eat?

I know these aren't in response to your question but may impact his future visitations.

Also it sounds like you agreed with all his different demands regarding the visitation and then suddenly decided not to. This could have serious negative consequences to his stability.

 

[Prima]

Diagnosed as a child but will not admit in court (pathological liar too btw).

I understand what you're saying as far as suddenly not cooperating. However, I was never under any obligation to go spend 3 hours with my former abuser 3x per week so that I could play with the baby due to his inability to do so. He doesn't speak to her; doesn't play with her; has no clue what to do with her; suffers mindblindness. Yes, I met all of his changing demands but I was under no obligation legally or morally to do so. I was simply appeasing him since abuse by proxy (court) is his funtime and I was tired of the malicious, slanderous lies in court. But in no way should the judge say that I was REQUIRED to hang out with my abuser and I'm bad if I don't. I didn't change his schedule.. I simply removed my presence.

No he doesn't eat when with her. He spends 3 hours walking up and down my street with her in his arms. When he has brought her back unfed, no liquids (out in heat of 90's for 3 hours) and in the same diaper she was in when she left.. and I mention this.. he's puzzled. No clue at all that he should have done those things.

When she was 14 months old I had to show him that she knew how to play. He was clueless. She played in the mulch at the park that day. For the next month, he spent the visit sticking a piece of mulch in her face to have her scream and knock it from his hand at which point he would pick it up and stick it in her face again.... for 3 solid hours. I showed him how to put her in the baby swing. The next few visits were spent with him simply pushing her in the swing for an hour straight unti she was "zoning out" just staring blankly into space.

This cannot be good for her. The last two visits, he took her to a place where people are drinking and smoking inside the home. I really don't know how to handle all of this.

 

[j4bs4209333]

I saw this ad and I looked up some info for you. Here's a link to the Florida laws Statutes & Constitution :View Statutes : flsenate.gov I read about the guardian ad litem laws and it sounds like that's your best bet. If the guardian feels the child is being neglected by either parent, they can act for the child in court and the court will require the father to be examined by a doctor or mental health professional to determine if he is fit to continue the visitation agreement. This is a good idea because it's an impartial person that is appointed to look out for the little girl and nothing but her. You should not have to see him if you do not want to. Do you have a sister or a friend that could meet him when it's time for him to pick your daughter up? I don't know anything about his disease/condition so I don't mean to be rude but, if he doesn't like it then that too bad. The point is to see his child which should not rely on you being present. Sounds like a sick obsession to me trying to get the courts to set up a new time just so he can see you too. If I were you I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. You also need to ask yourself if you don't let him have what he wants, which is obviously you, will he take it out on your daughter? Will she be in danger if he's angry with you? If that's the case I would immediately seek a modification in the court order for visitation. I'm in MA and I don't know about Florida laws but I assume Florida has supervised visits, maybe that is a safer option for the child. Have the guardian bring her to the visits and stay for the entire time then bring her home after. That way you're child's safe and you don't have to be put in that situation. You said out of the last 20 visits he only exercised 5? Any judge should look at that and know how bad that is for a child waiting for her dad and him not showing up. That can seriously hurt a child. You really need to ask the court to modify the court order. He's obviously using the child as a sick way to just see you. If he's going back to court to ask them to give him more visits you need to at least have a record of every no-show and every time he took a temper tantrum because you wouldn't comply with his "stalker-like needs". Have a witness with you in court to confirm your records. If you called him the days he was a no show bring your phone records etc. Save any voicemails canceling if he called. He shouldn't be allowed to use your daughter like that, it's just sick. If you need legal help try this site for free or low cost lawyers http://www.floridalawhelp.org

 

[ecmst12]

Perhaps you should request parenting classes and visits to be supervised by someone other then you.

 

[Prima]

Perhaps you should request parenting classes and visits to be supervised by someone other then you.

Thanks. Yes, I do agree. However, that's why I need the guardian ad litem. Getting supervised visits is going to take more than my word against his.

Does anyone know what wording I should use on the request..

Tt is in the child's best interest to have a guardian ad litem because:__________________________

??????

 

[Prima]

He's obviously using the child as a sick way to just see you. If he's going back to court to ask them to give him more visits you need to at least have a record of every no-show and every time he took a temper tantrum because you wouldn't comply with his "stalker-like needs". Have a witness with you in court to confirm your records.

Thanks. Sadly HE is using the legal aide so they can't help me (conflict of interest) and I already expended the funds my grandpa gave me the last court-round. I'm glad you see what I mean.

You should not have to see him if you do not want to. Do you have a sister or a friend that could meet him when it's time for him to pick your daughter up?

My family refuses to deal with him. He stalked my sister. Killed my mom's cat. Broke into my sister's car. We really DO need supervised visits and no contact with him.