How to present a case? HELP!(long)

[valleymom]

Hi, I live in IL but ex-boyfriend(father of child) lives in WI. We have just started our custody battle. We have had 1 mediation appt. and have our next on April 1st and he has made it quite clear that he is not about to agree to anything I want because he wants the same thing. I'd really like to keep it away from the courts but don't think it will be. Right now it's 50/50 everything equally shared. I want our son during the week with his dad having him every other weekend, possibly every weekend. We both have gotten married to other people. I'm 24, hubby is 29. We have 1 child together and another due any time now. I am a stay at home mom. We own our house. My husband has had the same job for almost 4yrs. We've enrolled my son for pre-school for the fall already in hopes that we'll have him all the time during the week. His father is 26yrs. old, lives at home w/his parents, and can't keep a job. He has our son(4yrs. old) in daycare(when he is working) and doesn't have any plans for him to attend pre-school this year. His wife goes to school full time and works part time. He wants him all the time during the week but I don't see the point if our son will be in daycare all day when he could be with me. His father has a history of drug charges and DUIs. He's even picked him up after drinking. He also came to our last mediation appt. after drinking but the mediator didn't even seem to care. It's ridiculous. I don't even honestly think that his father genuinely wants him, I think it's more of the fact that his parents want my son at their house and to be there. Anyways, when it does, and I'm sure it will, go to court, I cannot afford to pay a lawyer $1500 up front and $200/hr. after that so I'm going to do this myself. My question is, how do I present my case and points in a factual manner? If he gets a lawyer, what can I expect the lawyer to come at me with? Thanks for the help in advance! ~Nicole~

 

[bethdetroit]

you should look up your states laws or statuets.( your state might have a website with these on it) There should be something called "child custody act" or something simmilar. It should state the things that the court looks at to determine custody. Then present your case according to the facts. And use the laws in place to back up your claims.
Hope it helps.

 

[ConfusedMommy]

Wow!!! While I was reading your post, it sounded like my own story...even the states are the same!!! First of all...do you have to go to IL or WI for court???? Which ever state it is..I would check with the social services in that state to see if you can retain a lawyer at little or no cost. Im pretty sure that they would do that for you because many people have told me about doing that awhile back. Good luck with everything!!

 

[valleymom]

I have to go to WI for all the court stuff, it's really a pain in the butt. For our mediation, we were supposed to write a schedule and give it to the other parents as our "homework" before our next mediation date...april 1st. Well I made up my schedule and gave it to my son's father and he made it quite clear that he wasn't going to resolve this in mediation because he wants the same thing. So I guess I will be going to court which I guess is fine by me seeing as I don't know of any social worker or guardian ad litem that would pick him as the better suitable parent. I'm just concerned about getting a lawyer. I talked to someone at the court house about lawyers and the only place they could refer me to for low cost said they couldn't help me because I live out of state even though the case is in the county in WI that they serve. Even to get a lower cost lawyer around here you basically have to be in poverty because so many people take advantage of it. I guess lawyers think that everyone is rich and can pay their enormous fees. We're a family of 4, with another child due any day, and are in no way capable of paying that(most charge $1500 up front, then $200/hr after). We're not in poverty but we're no way "well to do" either. I'd just rather not pay a lawyer a fortune to basically drag out my case and wrip the other person apart to be able to do it myself and not have it take a year, make the other person look really bad, and pay a fortune. Thanks for the advice and I will update as soon as I can!
Nicole

 

[rruiz]

one thought

If you ever think that your son's fathers is under the influence of any sort of drug or alchol don't let him take him. The court might hold that against you that you let your son be in that cituation. You have the right, to make the right choice for you son no matter what. If that subject comes up in court your going to have a tough time proving he is unfit even though you let you son be with him.

 

[Grace_Adler]

Hi, my first question is I don't understand why you have to go to WI for everything. Also you can check the yellow pages and call around to the magistrate, courthouse or attorneys office and see if they have legal aide where you live. Legal aid can at least give you some advice. You should be able to handle it. Try to gather as much info about him as possible so you can present it. Him being under the influence, living with his parents, etc. won't look good. Is there a support order? Sounds like you have him most of the time. So he owes you support. If there's no order go to CSE now and get it done. That will help too. Alot. Also call CPS and tell them what he's like I don't know if it will help but maybe they can help keep your child away from him. Hope this helps and good luck.

 

[valleymom]

The reason I have to go to WI for everything is because that is where the original court order for custody/support was at. I used to live in WI. I'm not sure what to do about getting help from legal aid programs and such. I was referred to some in WI(since that's where the case is at) but they won't have anything to do with it because I live in IL. And here in IL, we make like $30 too much to be considered for legal aid at most of the ones we've talked to. The other ones(in IL) won't do it because the case is in WI so we're kinda at this stuck point. It was very dumb of myself to let my son go with his father after he had been drinking and I am kicking myself to this day. His drinking has been getting worse over the last month or so since he's been having problems with his marriage. I had also a few weeks ago picked my son up from his house and noticed he had been drinking. When I got home with my son, I noticed a bruise on his face and I asked him how he got those and he said his dad grabbed him. My son is only 4yrs. old. I immediately took pictures. Can I also use this in court? His father has never even been at my house to pick up or drop off my son, and he blames it on his unreliable car. I pick him up or drop him off in WI every Sunday. Will the judge also take that into consideration? Will the court let my son's paternal grandparents butt into this? They are a big problem. I honestly feel they are the ones pushing my ex to not agree in mediation and to go to court because they have gotten quite used to my son being at their house every other week. They will be the ones who will pay for my ex's lawyer and all the other stuff. They're very intimidating people but if they can't butt in then I'm not too worried. Thanks!
Nicole

 

[ellencee]

I think you should make every effort to pay for an attorney, if even for one hour of his, or her, time. I also think you should find a way to afford an attorney if the other side is represented by an attorney. I would hate to be in your shoes and go into court to do 'battle' with an attorney. Chances are that everytime you open your mouth to say something, the attorney will present to the court an objection, and the judge will sustain the objection.

I did not understand from your posts why you are having to go to WI. Who filed against whom for custody and visitation? If you filed against him, I understand going to his state, but if he filed against you, and you are legally a resident of IL, shoud not the father of your child filed the case in IL? Of course, that's a moot point if you have already subjected yourself to the WI court's jurisdiction by appearing in court and not contesting 'venue'.

You listed so many problems and concerns, I suggest again that you find a way to afford an attorney to advise you and to represent your interest.