How to prove someone in NOT living where they say they are....

[Artista]

Colorado Resident

Hello, My son and soon to be daughter in law (referred to as "R" henceforth) are getting a divorce and working out custody of our granddaughter.

"R" has her address listed at the court as the second half in her mom's duplex. She is still using this address to receive mail, but has moved out. "R" has had a falling out with her mom, and is currently living with some guy and the kids in a trailer somewhere in the boonies. They were evicted from the trailer park where they were living due to non-payment, and have moved on to another unknown location.

We are having our lawyer present to the court a proof of address, but as the residence is opwned by her mom, They might collude in the falsification of residence. I am trying to build a chain of evidence that "R" is disregarding her responsibilities towards the court et al., and would like to somehow 'prove' that she is no longer living at that address. Any ideas?

Can I place cameras on the neighbors property (with their permission) and record the non-comings and goings?
Can I take pix of the interior of the (non)residence through the window?
Can I interview/record the neighbors to determine how long she has been gone?
Can I interview/record her mom in an interview? (Colorado is a 'one party consent' state)
Is there anything else I can do?

Thanks

 

[CTU]

Colorado Resident

Hello, My son and soon to be daughter in law (referred to as "R" henceforth) are getting a divorce and working out custody of our granddaughter.

"R" has her address listed at the court as the second half in her mom's duplex. She is still using this address to receive mail, but has moved out. "R" has had a falling out with her mom, and is currently living with some guy and the kids in a trailer somewhere in the boonies. They were evicted from the trailer park where they were living due to non-payment, and have moved on to another unknown location.

We are having our lawyer present to the court a proof of address, but as the residence is opwned by her mom, They might collude in the falsification of residence. I am trying to build a chain of evidence that "R" is disregarding her responsibilities towards the court et al., and would like to somehow 'prove' that she is no longer living at that address. Any ideas?

Can I place cameras on the neighbors property (with their permission) and record the non-comings and goings?
Can I take pix of the interior of the (non)residence through the window?
Can I interview/record the neighbors to determine how long she has been gone?
Can I interview/record her mom in an interview? (Colorado is a 'one party consent' state)
Is there anything else I can do?

Thanks

Sir or Madam, I strongly suggest you take several steps back and let your son deal with his custody matters.

You have absolutely no place interviewing, recording or otherwise interfering with anyone else involved.

 

[TheGeekess]

Colorado Resident

Hello, My son and soon to be daughter in law (referred to as "R" henceforth) are getting a divorce and working out custody of our granddaughter.

"R" has her address listed at the court as the second half in her mom's duplex. She is still using this address to receive mail, but has moved out. "R" has had a falling out with her mom, and is currently living with some guy and the kids in a trailer somewhere in the boonies. They were evicted from the trailer park where they were living due to non-payment, and have moved on to another unknown location.

We are having our lawyer present to the court a proof of address, but as the residence is opwned by her mom, They might collude in the falsification of residence. I am trying to build a chain of evidence that "R" is disregarding her responsibilities towards the court et al., and would like to somehow 'prove' that she is no longer living at that address. Any ideas?

Can I place cameras on the neighbors property (with their permission) and record the non-comings and goings?
Can I take pix of the interior of the (non)residence through the window?
Can I interview/record the neighbors to determine how long she has been gone?
Can I interview/record her mom in an interview? (Colorado is a 'one party consent' state)
Is there anything else I can do?

Thanks

Mind your own business.

 

[adjusterjack]

Agree with the others.

No good can come of your meddling.

Tick off the daughter-in-law and she'll rake your son over the coals.

 

[CJane]

I'm curious what you believe such proof would accomplish.

Also curious if you understand that even contemplating such behavior, let alone engaging in it, makes you sound just stalker-y enough that Mom hiding from you sounds reasonable.

 

[ALawyer]

Your Son's Lawyer Should Handle Things

I assume that your son has a lawyer -- which he would effectively have to have if he expects to gain sole custody. Any halfway competent lawyer should know how to handle the about to be ex-wife's claim that she lives in the back of her mother's house and that is where she and the child always spend the nights, even if her mother also lies to back her up. Let the lawyer handle it -- perhaps having the lawyer hiring an investigator. If you play amateur private eye it will likely backfire, damage your son's case and might also result in you being charged with criminal misconduct and being ordered to stay away -- which would not help your son or grandchild.

 

[Artista]

Thank you

Thank you for your input. As I presume you can understand that passions run high in regards to our granddaughter. I appreciate the cooler head viewpoints.

My concern is/was the safety/welfare of the child(ren) while under her care. A trailer in an unknown location, outside of cell service, apparently (according to the child) with no running water. My son is till living in our home, and when he had his turn at custody, the child came to us unbathed with crusty underwear when we last had her, and gained 3 lbs within the week she stayed.

"R" was supposed to let the courts know of her address, and has not been forthcoming.

As per your council, I will let this lie, but these were my concerns and emotions were running high.

Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

Colorado Resident

Hello, My son and soon to be daughter in law (referred to as "R" henceforth) are getting a divorce and working out custody of our granddaughter.

"R" has her address listed at the court as the second half in her mom's duplex. She is still using this address to receive mail, but has moved out. "R" has had a falling out with her mom, and is currently living with some guy and the kids in a trailer somewhere in the boonies. They were evicted from the trailer park where they were living due to non-payment, and have moved on to another unknown location.

We are having our lawyer present to the court a proof of address, but as the residence is opwned by her mom, They might collude in the falsification of residence. I am trying to build a chain of evidence that "R" is disregarding her responsibilities towards the court et al., and would like to somehow 'prove' that she is no longer living at that address. Any ideas?

Can I place cameras on the neighbors property (with their permission) and record the non-comings and goings?
Can I take pix of the interior of the (non)residence through the window?
Can I interview/record the neighbors to determine how long she has been gone?
Can I interview/record her mom in an interview? (Colorado is a 'one party consent' state)
Is there anything else I can do?

Thanks

Wow...you are massively overinvolved in your son's divorce. That could very well come back to bite you in the backside down the road...seriously.

Why do you think its important or even matters that R's mailing address is not where she is physically located at the moment?

 

[not2cleverRed]

Thank you for your input. As I presume you can understand that passions run high in regards to our granddaughter. I appreciate the cooler head viewpoints.

My concern is/was the safety/welfare of the child(ren) while under her care. A trailer in an unknown location, outside of cell service, apparently (according to the child) with no running water. My son is till living in our home, and when he had his turn at custody, the child came to us unbathed with crusty underwear when we last had her, and gained 3 lbs within the week she stayed.

"R" was supposed to let the courts know of her address, and has not been forthcoming.

As per your council, I will let this lie, but these were my concerns and emotions were running high.

Thank you.

Unless your daughter-in-law was an unfit mother while she was with your son, and has a history of indicated abuse reports with CPS, or alarming behavior (like, waving a butcher knife and threatening to kill the children and herself), you are SERIOUSLY overreacting.

You do not have a right to your daughter-in-law's address.

Your son might not have the right to his daughter's address. If you go forth with your current attitude, your daughter-in-law should report the whole lot of you and get a restraining order against you (plural).

Step way the **** back.

P.S. If lack of cell phone service is on the top 5 list of what's wrong with where DIL is staying, then you need a reality check on what constitutes abuse.

 

[Zigner]

I wonder how long it will be before this OP is back asking for advice regarding charges of stalking...

 

[CTU]

Quite often I'm actually fond of the notion that "it takes a village". The more people to love the child, the better. Generally.

In this instance, I strongly suggest the villagers take control of their idiot before they cause Mommy and baby to leave and never return.

 

[Just Blue]

Quite often I'm actually fond of the notion that "it takes a village". The more people to love the child, the better. Generally.

In this instance, I strongly suggest the villagers take control of their idiot before they cause Mommy and baby to leave and never return.

I agree. There is a big difference though between love and control.

 

[quincy]

I can't believe the insults to this lady for caring, jerks. Child welfare she has the right to know. That is child neglect if the kids are not bathed. I bet her son has custody and the kids are in good hands.

This thread is from 2017.