How to remove no-good father from child's life?

[LdiJ]

Thank you for giving me some of the feedback I was looking for.
We will contact the nastiest most aggressive lawyer we can find and tak eit from there.

Question: if we go to court about his visitation rights and we countersue for child support, what are the chances that the judge makes the visits contingent upon the payment of the support?

That would solve the problem immediately, as he has as much chanced of coming up with that, as I have of sprouting another head overnight.

A judge cannot make visitation contingent upon child support even if the judge thought it was a great idea. Its contrary to law. Child support and visitation are separate legal issues.

By all means contact an attorney. However sit down and talk to the attorney...listen very carefully to what the attorney has to say...make sure you get all the potential downsides as well as the upsides..and then go away and think about it carefully before making any decisions.

As I said, and others as well...dad may have no rights at all right now, and certainly doesn't have any enforceable ones. Therefore taking this to court may open up an unnecessary "can of worms".

If this guy is really as bad as you say...then he is eventually going to end up in jail, or even worse.....which would solve your daughter's problem anyway.

 

[stealth2]

what are the chances that the judge makes the visits contingent upon the payment of the support?

Nearly nonexistent.

 

[pvanosta]

BelizeBreeze: Easy, Tiger...

Your judgement was uncalled for and way off-base.
1. I did not judge this man. I merely stated simple verifiable facts about his situation.
2. My wife and I extended every courtesy and every form of assistance to this man, in the hope that he would get his act together.
3. Our daughter is now painfully aware of how wrong her choice of partner was.

Speaking of acting like someone who just stepped off a cross: please tell me you have never made a wrong choice in whom you choose to be with. More than 65% of Americans have made the same mistake to some degree.

To quote your friend on the cross: "let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

And

Judge not lest ye be judged.

I came here to get advice, which I have received.
I did not seek attacks ad hominem (look it up if necessary) on myself or my family, nor did I make such attacks on anyone.

 

[pvanosta]

Ldij: Thanks again

Understood. We will tread carefully.

However: even though the child does not bear his name, he is listed on the birth certificate (rather than 'Father Unknown').
Does that alter his need to prove paternity in court?

 

[keyzblewz]

So, where is your cross? You know, the one you stepped down from to judge him without also judging the idiot of a daughter who spread her legs for him.

It's easy to sit at the keyboard and spew out crass remarks to a man about his daughter. I'm betting you wouldn't do it face to face though. Face to face and some man might take your head off. You would deserve it!

 

[stealth2]

Actually, I'd bet that BB would say the same thing face-to-face. Just as I would.

 

[pvanosta]

keyzblewz: thank as well

Thanks fore the detailed responses.
One question I just asked Ldij also:
Even though the child does not bear his name, he is listed on the birth certificate (rather than 'Father Unknown').
Does that alter his need to prove paternity in court?

 

[keyzblewz]

He would still have to prove paternity through blood tests. Your best bet is to let it go until this guy makes waves. When he does, then find yourself an attorney who doesn't mind being adversarial. Hopefully he will end up in jail or distracted by another girl. Good luck!

 

[stealth2]

I'm sure one of the CA gurus will correct this if it's been further amended, however:

CALIFORNIA - AMENDED PATERNITY LAWS

Effective in 1997, California amended its existing paternity statutes in two ways that dramatically increased the number of voluntary paternity acknowledgements. First, a completed voluntary declaration of paternity filed with the state vital statistics agency now has the effect of a paternity judgment without having to go to court. Second, an unmarried father must complete a voluntary declaration of paternity in order to get his name on the birth certificate of his child. As a result, about 60 percent of unmarried parents are acknowledging paternity and about 100,000 voluntary acknowledgments of paternity will be obtained in 1997.

If his name is on the birth certificate, he is legally considered the father.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I'm sure one of the CA gurus will correct this if it's been further amended, however:



If his name is on the birth certificate, he is legally considered the father.

Not quite. the Act was vetoed in 2002 but then the Landmark Navarro opinion of June 30, 2004 just might should be required reading for anyone who is contemplating playing the wait and see game, especially with OCS.

It can be found here

But then, there is even more clarity for the father who has not been judged the father by a court or legal proceeding.

California Supreme Court Prohibits Retroactive Paternity Child Support! - On June 25, 1998, the California Supreme Court handed down a very important decision in, SANTA CLARA v. DELMER L. PERRY, regarding child support and retroactivity. The Supreme Court decided that in child support cases involving paternity, the District Attorney/courts cannot make any order retroactive to before a motion/OSC has been filed requesting an order of child support, nor before paternity is established. In short, if the father is not the father legally for the father to see the children, the father is not the father for the mother to request child support.

For the case at hand, the name on the birth certificate means nothing. And when momma-bear gets tired of living with mommy and daddy and gos out on her own, state aid nor the courts will help her with receiving back support.

 

[stealth2]

Thanks, Beebs.

 

[leojj]

Lack of law advice

I respect this grandfather for helping out his child. The girls that end up with numerous kids and on welfare are the ones who have no support from family. The comment on her being an idioit and spreading her legs was uncalled for. But BB doesn't give useful advice, just snide ass comments. (like playing 20 questions)

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I respect this grandfather for helping out his child. The girls that end up with numerous kids and on welfare are the ones who have no support from family. The comment on her being an idioit and spreading her legs was uncalled for. But BB doesn't give useful advice, just snide ass comments. (like playing 20 questions)

I was looking for something a little more creative from you since you're auditioning for the new forum troll.

At least 'worthless as tits on a boarhog'
or; 'Worthless as $hit on a shingle'
or; 'Worthless as a republican in the White House'

 

[nagol818]

Probably for another board but I'm going to say it anyway

This father definitely doesn't seem like the trophy father by any means. However, there may come a day that he "wakes up" and decides to be an outstanding one so when the advice to tread lightly was given from a legal standpoint, maybe you should consider that advice from a moral one too. Speaking poorly about your grandchild's father will hurt this child. This could also one day backfire on you causing your grandchild ill feelings towards you. I speak from experience. I was a young mother who had a child to an even younger man. He was childish, immature and irresponsible just as you are dealing with but my daughter loved him in spite of this. Even when she was young I realized there would come a day that she would growup even just enough to know what a dad was, and value him just because he was Dad. She didn't see him for 9 years but he was still in her thoughts constantly. It was the ideal of it all to her....I was Mom, he was Daddy. Today, 12 years later, she visits him and talks to him often. He has grown up to be a decent person and I trust him with her. I even let her fly from Pennsylvania to Alaska(where he lives) to visit every summer for a month. It took a lot of growing in all of us to be able to reach this point but I don't regret it because he is her father and nothing I could do, could change that fact. She has been surrounded by my family all her life and all we could do is instill in her good values and morals in the hopes that she would follow in our footsteps. We never, ever spoke poorly of him around her. He even STILL owes $20,000 in back support. I couldn't find him for 9 years. He popped up one day and has "proven" himself to my daughter and also me which was an added bonus. I didn't ask for it.

We get along now for our child's sake. He also hasn't missed a child support payment in 3 years. What did I do when my child's father was in this wacked out state he was in as a youngster? Nothing! I didn't do a single thing.

You never know what the future holds. Let him go and focus your energy in other ways. If he never changes, your grandchild will figure that out on her own. I promise!

 

[leojj]

troll??

I don't usally post any response, but sometimes stuff hits you the wrong way. I didn't insult you just your comment. I don't think kicking people when they are down is respectful. But to each there own. I think there is enough trolls on this site. Therefore I will go back to just reading and remember only a select few are ALOUD to voice anything! Have a wonderful evening.