HS Counselor/ Parental Rights

[HELP4us]

State: Texas
My husband and I visited his 16 yr old's school counselor to seek advice/ help on some serious behavioral issues we've had w/ her. She lives w/ her mother who has absolutely no contact with us and has literally embarked on a parental alienation/ brainwashing agenda. In effect a once very close and loving relationship between us and the child has in a few mo. time turned into the child not honoring any visitation w/ us, and has summarily cut off all contact with us, her little sister as well as all of our extended family members. The only reason given is that "She's learned to live alone and likes it that way" (her mother often out w/ new boyfriend leaving teen w/o supervision) Her school counselor advised us to not contact the child, stating that she'll "grow up and realize what she's doing", and she would speak with her to see what she could find out. After asking several times if she did indeed speak to the child, the counselor informed us that she did, the child seems fine, says we know why she isn't seeing us more often and due to privacy reasons, she can't disclose anything they discussed. Which leaves us back to square one! We really have NO idea why she's doing this to all of us. Can her counselor legally or morally keep that information from us? Please help!

 

[stealth2]

Very likely, privacy issues come into play and the counselor isn't permitted to discuss her sessions with the kid with anyone, including Mom or Dad. She's never been under any legal obligation to do so with you.

 

[HELP4us]

Confused

How can a school employee not be required in some way to disclose the information since the child is, after all, a minor. Especially considering we were the ones who asked for help in resolving the issues. How are we as parents able to help our child if that information is kept from us?

 

[stealth2]

#1 - it is not YOUR child, so no one at the school is required nor permitted to disclose ANYTHING to you.

#2 - HIPPA. What the kid tells the counselor is private, unless it is serious enough to require notification. As in - she's suicidal. Other than that, the counselor is legally not permitted to tell either bio parent what's discussed w/o the kid's consent or a court order. BTDT.

 

[Neal1421]

State: Texas
My husband and I visited his 16 yr old's school counselor to seek advice/ help on some serious behavioral issues we've had w/ her. She lives w/ her mother who has absolutely no contact with us and has literally embarked on a parental alienation/ brainwashing agenda. In effect a once very close and loving relationship between us and the child has in a few mo. time turned into the child not honoring any visitation w/ us, and has summarily cut off all contact with us, her little sister as well as all of our extended family members. The only reason given is that "She's learned to live alone and likes it that way" (her mother often out w/ new boyfriend leaving teen w/o supervision) Her school counselor advised us to not contact the child, stating that she'll "grow up and realize what she's doing", and she would speak with her to see what she could find out. After asking several times if she did indeed speak to the child, the counselor informed us that she did, the child seems fine, says we know why she isn't seeing us more often and due to privacy reasons, she can't disclose anything they discussed. Which leaves us back to square one! We really have NO idea why she's doing this to all of us. Can her counselor legally or morally keep that information from us? Please help!

Why didn't the child's father make her come see him during his scheduled visits? It is not up to the child to say that she does not want to visit with her father. He should have gotten her and her sister during his visitation time. There has to be more to this story than you are telling.

 

[HELP4us]

Pardon me, you're correct, she's not MY child. Although I have been in her life since she was very small and I've never felt like we ever had the stereotypical step-monster/ child relationship. Her health/ happiness has always been and always will be VERY important to me. As I said previously, we've always been very close. So please don't rush to lump me in with any of the "Stepmom's that are pissed because she can't control the 1st wife's kid". Her dad has tried to get her for visits...Thanksgiving her mom took her out of state, Christmas we didn't see her because her mom took her to her ex-step dad's. And her mom refuses to communicate with dad. Has done nothing but belittle and bad mouth him always with no regard to her own daughters feelings (a tactic that is obviously proving to be successful for her). We haven't brought it to court for 2 reasons- her dad is afraid she'll resent us "forcing" her and because at her age, by the time any type of resolution could be reached she'd probably be 18. As for leaving out details, I am. I could go on and on with some of the self-serving and out right lies the mom has told her over her lifetime. All of which we knew of, but could do nothing about. We always felt our relationship was strong enough to endure. Which it has... until recently. Believe me, I wish I could explain it away, but i can't, which is what makes it so hard. The child originally gave lies from her mom as reasons, which we quickly cleared up. We had 1 nice visit and then right back to being avoided. She won't even give us anything that we either can/ or can't defend ourselves against. So now that her counselor may/ may not have info that could help, she won't tell us so we get to wait till she grows up and realizes that she misses us?

 

[Ohiogal]

Pardon me, you're correct, she's not MY child. Although I have been in her life since she was very small and I've never felt like we ever had the stereotypical step-monster/ child relationship. Her health/ happiness has always been and always will be VERY important to me. As I said previously, we've always been very close. So please don't rush to lump me in with any of the "Stepmom's that are pissed because she can't control the 1st wife's kid". Her dad has tried to get her for visits...Thanksgiving her mom took her out of state, Christmas we didn't see her because her mom took her to her ex-step dad's. And her mom refuses to communicate with dad. Has done nothing but belittle and bad mouth him always with no regard to her own daughters feelings (a tactic that is obviously proving to be successful for her). We haven't brought it to court for 2 reasons- her dad is afraid she'll resent us "forcing" her and because at her age, by the time any type of resolution could be reached she'd probably be 18. As for leaving out details, I am. I could go on and on with some of the self-serving and out right lies the mom has told her over her lifetime. All of which we knew of, but could do nothing about. We always felt our relationship was strong enough to endure. Which it has... until recently. Believe me, I wish I could explain it away, but i can't, which is what makes it so hard. The child originally gave lies from her mom as reasons, which we quickly cleared up. We had 1 nice visit and then right back to being avoided. She won't even give us anything that we either can/ or can't defend ourselves against. So now that her counselor may/ may not have info that could help, she won't tell us so we get to wait till she grows up and realizes that she misses us?

If the dad is not pushing for the court to enforce the visitation, then he is just as much to blame as mom.