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Husband is not my sons biological father yet signed birth cirtificate. Trouble?

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S

Stargazer

Guest
I was 4 months pregnant from another man when I married my husband. Husband knows, is raising son as his own and signed the cirtificate at birth. The biological father has not had anything to do with my son, yet says he wants to be part of his life. We live in Arizona so does father.

My son's half brother in in his pre-school class. Biological father now wants to be a part of my son's life since he has seen him and is the splitting image of his father. My husband and I would rather not have ex in the picture. Are we legally in the wrong? Can the father pursue anything? I'm between a rock and a hard place.

My son does not know about his real father, I don't want to turn his world, or the world of his half-brothers upside down.
 


LegalBeagle

Senior Member
Stargazer said:
I was 4 months pregnant from another man when I married my husband. Husband knows, is raising son as his own and signed the cirtificate at birth. The biological father has not had anything to do with my son, yet says he wants to be part of his life. We live in Arizona so does father.

My son's half brother in in his pre-school class. Biological father now wants to be a part of my son's life since he has seen him and is the splitting image of his father. My husband and I would rather not have ex in the picture. Are we legally in the wrong? Can the father pursue anything? I'm between a rock and a hard place.

My son does not know about his real father, I don't want to turn his world, or the world of his half-brothers upside down.
If this other man pursues legal action then you may have no choice.
 
S

Stargazer

Guest
LegalBeagle said:
Stargazer said:
I was 4 months pregnant from another man when I married my husband. Husband knows, is raising son as his own and signed the cirtificate at birth. The biological father has not had anything to do with my son, yet says he wants to be part of his life. We live in Arizona so does father.

My son's half brother in in his pre-school class. Biological father now wants to be a part of my son's life since he has seen him and is the splitting image of his father. My husband and I would rather not have ex in the picture. Are we legally in the wrong? Can the father pursue anything? I'm between a rock and a hard place.

My son does not know about his real father, I don't want to turn his world, or the world of his half-brothers upside down.
If this other man pursues legal action then you may have no choice.
So if he pursues no legal action, I don't have to do anything. Is there a time limit to when he can pursue legal action? Demand a paternity test or something? I have accepted no money from him. We are friendly to one another, and I tell him my hands are tied. I don't want to cause strain in my marriage by allowing him to walk into our lives. Yet, I want my son to eventually know his father. As long as I have a choice, I will avoid the situation. Until I tell my son and he decides to include him in his life.

I know this sounds selfish. This is a situation I never imagined myself in.

My husband would have no problem with the father if this man took responsibility when I told him the child I was carrying was his. He didn't believe me until he saw my son face to face four years later.
 
J

JessicaArlyn

Guest
Is your husband willing to adopt your son? Also, correct me if I am wrong LB, but after two years (I assume, since it's preschool, that child is) doesn't the name on the cert. stand?
Consult with a lawyer, but honestly, the biodad doesn't sound all that bad, he may have "grown up". If your husband loves you and your son, he will be willing to work through whatever is in the best interest for "his" son. My son was legally adopted by my husband, (bio DID sign away rights) but my son is almost 8 and we are getting ready to tell him the truth. Since your son is younger, you could just introduce his biodad slowly. You never know, he may be happy that his buddy from school is his "new" brother!!
Good luck, Jessica/CA
 
S

Stargazer

Guest
Would my husband need to adopt my son. Even if my husband signed the birth cirtificate? And the Bio dad pursues nothing? In the long run will this be a leagal mess?

I know my husband would adopt him. He sees him as his own flesh and blood. So do the rest of my in-laws.

I question the bio dad's sincerity. Any time we talk and we are alone, he hits on me. When my husband is around, he acts like he doesn't know me. He's okay to talk to and he's loves his other sons. I think raising those two boys has made a change in him. Maybe he is sincere. Who knows.

That's part of the reasons why I don't pursue the matter. Is he sincere in wanting to be a part on our son's life, or does he want me in his bed? He has hit on me more times than he's brought up the issue of my son.

And there his girfriend. The mother of the other boys. She hates me with a passion. I was "the other woman". I'm concerned she would treat my son bad when no one is around. Thier son is 5. My son is 4, and the other brother is 3.

This is just a mess, and makes my head spin.
 

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