HUSBAND PAYS does she pay for our 3 months??

[stepmomblues27]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My husband hasd an 8 year old son who has been taught that daddy is a bad man becuse he moved to a different state.. I am the type to give a person chance after chance. The whole family was mad at me for trying to be her friend. My husband pays child support, takes him for Christmas and summer months, Does he have to pay her child support when he has the son for the summer? Believe me it's no walk in the park for me when I am stepmom!! Also when he buys his son clothes and toys ( between we spent over 500 on him for Christmas and not rich by ANY means!)
and the plane ticket???) IS there no relief for all this spending? The plane ticket alone is 300 on top of the 80 dollar fee because he's under 12. I make 7 dollars an hour he makes 10 which isn't much after all the bills and c.s... help please??

 

[stealth2]

Most states do not abate child support for the visitation periods - even when it's for the summer. The reason for this is quite simple, once you understand how CS is calculated. Although it is paid weekly/biweekly/monthly - it is actually calculated as a yearly sum, and then divided into 12 (or 26 or 52) equal payments. In states that account for the time the NCP spends with the child, that time is already figured in to the total.

Suppose Dad is to pay $12,000/year in child support (just to make the math easy), on a monthly basis. That would mean 12 payments of $1,000 each. If, however, he and Mom could agree to having support abated during the summer, then he'd be making 10 mayments of $1,200 each. NOT 10 payments of $1,000.

(edit) As for transportation - many courts will make the moving parent fully responsible for that expense, and rightfully so. Why should the parent who remained in the same area be penalized for the other parent's choice?

 

[stepmomblues27]

drowning in debt

I assumed state would use the plane ticket reciept for proof of payment would actually use that and deduct that from his payments. No parent should be penalized but you would have to meet the woman to understand why he moved to a different state. After all the money spent on him she did not say thank you nothing. It's horible she appreciates nothing that is done for her son by us money wise time wise anything.. Her son is the same way.. i bought him everything he wanted and he left without a single thankk you. All she wants is money and for us to take him when he is out of school and vacation. It woiuld be a fight any other time. So there is nothing we can do to get it put towards child support?? the plane ticket money?? the 3 months we have him?? Florida

 

[Silverplum]

QUOTE: "So there is nothing we can do to get it put towards child support?? the plane ticket money?? the 3 months we have him??" /UNQUOTE


You are reaching the point of ridiculous. Did you even READ Stealth's reply?

For the child's sake alone, because you will be dealing with the poor kid again:
A) The plane ticket money was to bring the child to the father and back to the mother. They spent time together, as they should. If the parent who moved was the parent who paid, that is fair and right.
B) Try Stealth's reply again on the CS abatement issue. I can't put it any more clearly.

You don't get refunds on everything in life, lady. Move on.

 

[stepmomblues27]

Ths is aggravateing enough i hate sarcasm

Why is it when your not the "poor me" single mom with the child everyone jumps your case.. yes i read and ya this "lady" is aware there are no refunds in life BUT i am NOT the parent of this child and have no contact whatsoever with the "poor kid" I pay alot of money that I don't have to go towards him and I'm the one who got my husband to pay his support I encourage the visits I keep the peace between ex wife and my husband, I'm the one who takes time off from my job to watch an 8 year old who has been told i'm keeping daddy from his son.. It's insane talk because they divorced 5 years before we ever met. She was married to another man and when my husband found out he filed for divorced.I don't mind doing all these things for a child who hates me for not being mom but it gets OLD and I'm FED UP with trying to get our life ahead instaed of living broke all the time and when I ask for help everyone wants to condemn me and talk alot of crap. I feel really bad if I don't do all the things he wants. It's not a crime to try and find out how to get ahead instead of being in a slump every summer and christmas . I did not make the decision for him to move so far away from his son but you know what..It happens. He moved here to go to a special college to BE a better father. I have been told to butt out in every wy possible except on both parents parts when it comes to money.. I PAY.. so unless you can give me ANY helpful hints on how to make the trips less expensive.. Please don't offer "advice"

 

[critterperson]

Why is it when your not the "poor me" single mom with the child everyone jumps your case.. yes i read and ya this "lady" is aware there are no refunds in life BUT i am NOT the parent of this child and have no contact whatsoever with the "poor kid" I pay alot of money that I don't have to go towards him and I'm the one who got my husband to pay his support I encourage the visits I keep the peace between ex wife and my husband, I'm the one who takes time off from my job to watch an 8 year old who has been told i'm keeping daddy from his son.. It's insane talk because they divorced 5 years before we ever met. She was married to another man and when my husband found out he filed for divorced.I don't mind doing all these things for a child who hates me for not being mom but it gets OLD and I'm FED UP with trying to get our life ahead instaed of living broke all the time and when I ask for help everyone wants to condemn me and talk alot of crap. I feel really bad if I don't do all the things he wants. It's not a crime to try and find out how to get ahead instead of being in a slump every summer and christmas . I did not make the decision for him to move so far away from his son but you know what..It happens. He moved here to go to a special college to BE a better father. I have been told to butt out in every wy possible except on both parents parts when it comes to money.. I PAY.. so unless you can give me ANY helpful hints on how to make the trips less expensive.. Please don't offer "advice"

Sounds like a divorce would be your cheapest option........I'm not being mean. I'm just saying if you had to twist this guys arm to pay for his child from the first wife...what would he do to your children if your money train ever left the station? YOU should not be paying his child support.......If you are, and he is telling you to butt out in everything else....it sounds like you are being used.......... I know this is not what you wanted to hear....but close your eyes and picture another 10 years paying for a child that isn't yours...It takes a lot to be the second wife...of that I have no doubt, but if your husband is willing to take your money to pay the support he is obligated to pay....he should also have to consider your opinions, and feelings..It just sounds like you are trying to do all the work..........Just my opinion....

 

[stealth2]

Why is it when your not the "poor me" single mom with the child everyone jumps your case.. yes i read and ya this "lady" is aware there are no refunds in life BUT i am NOT the parent of this child and have no contact whatsoever with the "poor kid" I pay alot of money that I don't have to go towards him and I'm the one who got my husband to pay his support I encourage the visits I keep the peace between ex wife and my husband, I'm the one who takes time off from my job to watch an 8 year old who has been told i'm keeping daddy from his son.. It's insane talk because they divorced 5 years before we ever met. She was married to another man and when my husband found out he filed for divorced.I don't mind doing all these things for a child who hates me for not being mom but it gets OLD and I'm FED UP with trying to get our life ahead instaed of living broke all the time and when I ask for help everyone wants to condemn me and talk alot of crap. I feel really bad if I don't do all the things he wants. It's not a crime to try and find out how to get ahead instead of being in a slump every summer and christmas . I did not make the decision for him to move so far away from his son but you know what..It happens. He moved here to go to a special college to BE a better father. I have been told to butt out in every wy possible except on both parents parts when it comes to money.. I PAY.. so unless you can give me ANY helpful hints on how to make the trips less expensive.. Please don't offer "advice"

Well, I don't know what else to tell you except explain how support is calculated. I'm sorry if that's not a satisfactory answer. I'm sorry you married a guy with a bitch of an ex-wife. I'm sorry you don't like the fact that the courts generally hold the moving parent responsible for paying for transportation (aaah, would you have such an issue with it if SHE had moved away and had to pay airfare?). But this IS a situation you chose to be in.

 

[critterperson]

You could also try...cheaptickets.com, or travelosity to see if you could get the airfare cheaper...........

 

[stepmomblues27]

I signed up alright

Your right.. I would not be concerned if she was the one paying the plane ticket fee i would expect her to find financial relief though as well. I knew the facts when I signed on as step mom but it's difficult.. I have been trying to get medical records and school records for the last year. she fights us on that and had her ex husband thrown in the slammer accuseing him of child kidnapping because he was late bringing the kids back from CHRISTMAS. I decided to completely butt out after a horrible christmas with the little man instead haveing a great one at my folks. Anyway thank you for the advise it is about time to accept the situation and believe me I am not haveing kids anytime soon until he resolves his current child issues.

 

[stealth2]

I have been trying to get medical records and school records for the last year.

She and Dad are the only ones legally permitted to access those records.

 

[critterperson]

Your right.. I would not be concerned if she was the one paying the plane ticket fee i would expect her to find financial relief though as well. I knew the facts when I signed on as step mom but it's difficult.. I have been trying to get medical records and school records for the last year. she fights us on that and had her ex husband thrown in the slammer accuseing him of child kidnapping because he was late bringing the kids back from CHRISTMAS. I decided to completely butt out after a horrible christmas with the little man instead haveing a great one at my folks. Anyway thank you for the advise it is about time to accept the situation and believe me I am not haveing kids anytime soon until he resolves his current child issues.

Yeah.......that would probably be a wise idea...as far as medical records only mom and dad can get those.......... You seem like a nice person....I hope things go well for you......

 

[stepmomblues27]

In response to ...She and Dad are the only ones legally permitted to access those records.

My husband can't get her to send the medial records.. She always said he is up to something when he asks and she said he has to go to Texas to get those documents she said because he is the non custodial parent and because she does not have him on the scchool list to get access to those he can't get those records. What can he do???

 

[critterperson]

In response to ...She and Dad are the only ones legally permitted to access those records.

My husband can't get her to send the medial records.. She always said he is up to something when he asks and she said he has to go to Texas to get those documents she said because he is the non custodial parent and because she does not have him on the scchool list to get access to those he can't get those records. What can he do???

First of all, what does his parenting agreement say in regards to medical records or school stuff?...........It may not be called a parenting agreement (that is the term in Illinois) but it tells each parent what their rights are in regards to the child................

 

[stealth2]

He is legally entitled to those records and needs to provide the school & doctor with proof of paternity.

 

[Ambr]

Florida
Florida Statutes 61.13 (2)(b)3


3.
Access to records and information pertaining to a minor child, including, but not limited to, medical, dental, and school records, may not be denied to a parent because the parent is not the child's primary residential parent. Full rights under this subparagraph apply to either parent unless a court order specifically revokes these rights, including any restrictions on these rights as provided in a domestic violence injunction. A parent having rights under this subparagraph has the same rights upon request as to form, substance, and manner of access as are available to the other parent of a child, including, without limitation, the right to in-person communication with medical, dental, and education providers.


DPS 02-009
is a memo produced by the FL Department of Education that outlines FERPA requirements for all schools in FL.



Try this link for a sample letter requesting access to the records. Just remember, your hubby has to make the request and provide proof (copy of birth certificate, copy of divorce decree / custody plan).

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest1.htm
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest2.htm
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest3.htm