HUSBAND TO (2) WOMEN

[Wieluvver]

My husband and I were married Oct 17, 1994 in Las Vegas and we resided in California and both still do, though apart. We had a son May 30, 1995. After finding out I was pregnant, he tells me that he is still married to his first wife who has three of his children. We seperated before my son was born and had an on again off again, very violent, sick, love/hate relationship for the next 3 years. I have decided to put this all behind me and move-on and I want to file for divorce. I was temporarily on welfare after my son was born since no help from his father and this returns of course a child support issue with the district attorneys office. He now has a back child support bill in excess of $35k and is requesting a blood test on my son to prove he is his son. I wonder when does the evilness in a person stop? My real question is, is it a divorce I seek, when he was already married to another and what about my son's name in this situation?

 

[LegalBeagle]

My husband and I were married Oct 17, 1994 in Las Vegas and we resided in California and both still do, though apart. We had a son May 30, 1995. After finding out I was pregnant, he tells me that he is still married to his first wife who has three of his children. We seperated before my son was born and had an on again off again, very violent, sick, love/hate relationship for the next 3 years. I have decided to put this all behind me and move-on and I want to file for divorce. I was temporarily on welfare after my son was born since no help from his father and this returns of course a child support issue with the district attorneys office. He now has a back child support bill in excess of $35k and is requesting a blood test on my son to prove he is his son. I wonder when does the evilness in a person stop? My real question is, is it a divorce I seek, when he was already married to another and what about my son's name in this situation?

There is no divorce since you were not married. You file to anull the 'marriage' and you report him to the police for bigamy. He will be arrested. Do you think the other wife knows ? She will soon.

When your child was born, did he sign an affidavif of paternity ? What was done, legally for you to be getting CS ? Was this court ordered ?

 

[Wieluvver]

No affidavit was signed, he has his name on the birth certificate as well as mine and my son has his name. And the other wife has known all along about both marriages. I have also been told that bigamy is not punishable in the state of California unless it was done with the intent to financially fraud the other party. Is that true? Also, when I applied for welfare, the ask you the name of the father and I told them. When the district atty filed against him for the cs, he avoided it all together and a judgement was made against him for $380. monthly of which he has never paid a dime. That is why he owes them in excess of $35k back child support. Its a real shame, he has never acted or verbally expressed any disbelief in the paternity of our son to me, ever.. It was thru a mutual friend that I came to find this out. Thanks for your input in this matter.

 

[LegalBeagle]

He can request all he wants.. since you know him to be the father let him progress it.. he will still owe the money.. and you just counter petition with an Order to Show Cause for non payment of CS. If he indeed owes that amount, then it is a federal offence and he will go to jail.

Oh, and you heard wrong..

Bigamy is punishable by a fine not exceeding ten thousand
dollars ($10,000) or by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year or in the state prison.

Make a police report NOW! Why? because if you do not, then you can be found guilty yourself for knowingly being married to a married person.

 

[Wieluvver]

He has already been arrested for drug offenses and was hit with the non-payment of CS while in custody . It is now a condition of his probation to make his CS payments. He still does not make them. I think I need to call the police then I would hate to be charged with any crime when I find out after the fact. No matter what he tries to get around, he is the father, it can be proved and he knows it as well I do. I would like to know if there is any law to protect a person from having gone thru what I did with this man? I am refering to the physical, emotional and slanderous abuse I was put thru from marriage to now? I was pregnant 4 times after my son was born, by him of course and I do understand that I must take responsibility for staying in the unhealthy relationship, but I was not kept there by myself. I was convinced of things, bull****ted, lied to and most of all, I was pregnant pretty much all of the time and was very emotional and not myself. I believe he took advantage of all of that and truely did me and then my son as well, very wrong and knew it.

 

[LegalBeagle]

He has already been arrested for drug offenses and was hit with the non-payment of CS while in custody . It is now a condition of his probation to make his CS payments. He still does not make them. I think I need to call the police then I would hate to be charged with any crime when I find out after the fact. No matter what he tries to get around, he is the father, it can be proved and he knows it as well I do. I would like to know if there is any law to protect a person from having gone thru what I did with this man? I am refering to the physical, emotional and slanderous abuse I was put thru from marriage to now? I was pregnant 4 times after my son was born, by him of course and I do understand that I must take responsibility for staying in the unhealthy relationship, but I was not kept there by myself. I was convinced of things, bull****ted, lied to and most of all, I was pregnant pretty much all of the time and was very emotional and not myself. I believe he took advantage of all of that and truely did me and then my son as well, very wrong and knew it.

Unfortunately I can not help you out with this.. I personally feel you should never enter into a relationship unless you are strong enough to stand on your own feet and be an indiviual. Then, the most they abuse you, you walk away. and that is the biggest problem is that women who are abused for the first time think it is a one off and it is so not like him.. oh and he will never do it again.

However, what women fail to realize is that the moment you accept or take them back after that first time, you are starting a chain of events thay can not be stopped.

Once, is once to many times where abuse is concerned.