Husband's Ex Mistress Contacting Son

[Reginaxox]

What is the name of your state?KY

I don't know where this belongs.
My husband had an affair for over a year with a woman he met on duty. He is a police officer and he almost lost his job.

He is abusive and I can't divorce as I'm too old and need his pension. One day she told the police he was suicidal and the police came to check on him and I was told if she bothered us again to let the police know. He has tried to kill himself and I did not do anything because I did not want him fired.

Our 23 year old son was contacted by her after my husband was thrown out. Husband wont talk to her. She told our son she was sorry and my husband blames her for him and his son not speaking. She said to be there for his father because she knew he loved him and needed support.

I told her to leave my family alone. My son says he told her ok but never talk to him again and she has not. But can I file a restraining order or can we file an order? It's like she won't go away and acts like she is trying to "help" him.

 

[commentator]

You are just about......aaaugh! I need his money. He is abusive. He has tried to commit suicide. I told her to leave my family alone.

If you were to go to court and try to file for restraining orders, wouldn't that do what you seem to be trying desperately to avoid doing, shine light on the whole sorry situation of your husband's very bad mental state and take him off the job (so maybe you don't lose his pension!)? You know good and well she would express her concerns to everyone and anyone she talks to in the court process, thus publicizing something you don't want everybody in the world to know. Sure hope your husband doesn't make a very unwise decision on the job that hurts others or act out too horribly before he gets his pension/excuse me, you get his pension.

 

[Zigner]

Your son is an adult - you can't control who he talks to or who talks to him.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state?KY

I don't know where this belongs.
My husband had an affair for over a year with a woman he met on duty. He is a police officer and he almost lost his job.

He is abusive and I can't divorce as I'm too old and need his pension. One day she told the police he was suicidal and the police came to check on him and I was told if she bothered us again to let the police know. He has tried to kill himself and I did not do anything because I did not want him fired.

Our 23 year old son was contacted by her after my husband was thrown out. Husband wont talk to her. She told our son she was sorry and my husband blames her for him and his son not speaking. She said to be there for his father because she knew he loved him and needed support.

I told her to leave my family alone. My son says he told her ok but never talk to him again and she has not. But can I file a restraining order or can we file an order? It's like she won't go away and acts like she is trying to "help" him.

When your husband goes off the deep end (because of his mental state) and kills some innocent person/persons...expect to lose everything. House, cars, bank accounts...everything.

And don't put help in quotes. The ex mistress is trying to help him...you, on the other hand, are just a lazy (fill in the blank) that is covering a dangerous situation for your own personal gain.

 

[not2cleverRed]

What is the name of your state?KY

I don't know where this belongs.
My husband had an affair for over a year with a woman he met on duty. He is a police officer and he almost lost his job.

He is abusive and I can't divorce as I'm too old and need his pension. One day she told the police he was suicidal and the police came to check on him and I was told if she bothered us again to let the police know. He has tried to kill himself and I did not do anything because I did not want him fired.

Pensions based on employment during the marriage are marital property in Kentucky. That means that part of any divorce settlement can include you getting a portion of that pension. Additionally, even if you divorce, social security may take his income during your marriage into account, if you have been married for over 10 years. You have a 23 year old son, so perhaps you have even been married over 20 years.

If you really have been abused, document it and start working on an escape plan.

One day she told the police he was suicidal and the police came to check on him and I was told if she bothered us again to let the police know. He has tried to kill himself and I did not do anything because I did not want him fired.

Our 23 year old son was contacted by her after my husband was thrown out. Husband wont talk to her. She told our son she was sorry and my husband blames her for him and his son not speaking. She said to be there for his father because she knew he loved him and needed support.

I told her to leave my family alone. My son says he told her ok but never talk to him again and she has not. But can I file a restraining order or can we file an order? It's like she won't go away and acts like she is trying to "help" him.

Because of the pension?

I think you need to reexamine your priorities.

The man needs psychological help of some sort.

Our 23 year old son was contacted by her after my husband was thrown out. Husband wont talk to her. She told our son she was sorry and my husband blames her for him and his son not speaking. She said to be there for his father because she knew he loved him and needed support.

I told her to leave my family alone. My son says he told her ok but never talk to him again and she has not. But can I file a restraining order or can we file an order? It's like she won't go away and acts like she is trying to "help" him.

I am confused.

You've thrown the husband out?

Please explain why you believe a restraining order is necessary. If she has contact with your estranged husband, and she is reaching out for help on his behalf, what's it to you?

 

[Ohiogal]

Your son is an adult. She has done nothing that warrants a restraining order.