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I finally filed for custody

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momself

Member
What is the name of your state? missouri
I finally retained an attorney today and am filing for custody. After last night, I didn't have a choice. He received the order from cse for cs yesterday. He called me numerous times yesterday demanding that i cancel the cs. Then he started demanding to see our daughter. I let him come over last night to spend time with her against my gut instinct. But I'm trying to be as fair as I can be, although all it gets me is cursed at. In the papers i signed today at the attorney's it states that i am pursing full legal and physical custody with him having one day per week (5 hours per day) visitation. The attorney also told me to get a tape recorder and place it somewhere where he can't see it and get it on tape what he does. I knew this was coming and tried to work with him but with no luck. Thanks for letting me vent, I'm sure i'll do alot more before this is over with.
 


Ambr

Senior Member
Just a little hint about the tape recorder.

This is something that I just figured out - duh!!!!! - can't believe it took me this long to figure it out. I have been recording conversations at drop offs and pick ups for a long time now. Most people will tell you to carry the tape recorder in plan site and not to try and hide it. But for some odd reason - when the ex sees the tape recorder, they just don't act the same.

So........If you can get one of the small tape recorders, the kind that uses the answering machine tapes, with an external mike........tighten your bra strap down and you can put it right down in between. It will stay very stable and it will pick up every bit of conversation.
 

CMSC

Senior Member
Ambr said:
Just a little hint about the tape recorder.

This is something that I just figured out - duh!!!!! - can't believe it took me this long to figure it out. I have been recording conversations at drop offs and pick ups for a long time now. Most people will tell you to carry the tape recorder in plan site and not to try and hide it. But for some odd reason - when the ex sees the tape recorder, they just don't act the same.

So........If you can get one of the small tape recorders, the kind that uses the answering machine tapes, with an external mike........tighten your bra strap down and you can put it right down in between. It will stay very stable and it will pick up every bit of conversation.

I have a question, are the laws for tape recording over the phone the same as taping in person? Just curious.
 

momself

Member
Thanks for that idea! My friend has one that I can borrow, but I'm not sure if it is one of the small ones you're talking about.

My lawyer told me this morning that a tape record of someone is legal and admissable in the state of Missouri. If I wanted to record our conversation on the phone I would first have to tell him that he is being recorded. Unless he left a message on my voicemail.
 

momself

Member
After reading what I just posted that sounds really bad...I just wish we didn't live so close to one another. Life might be a little less complicated then.
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
momself

Missouri is a one party state. What that means is that only ONE of the people on the phone have to know they are being recorded. So, if you are on the phone with him, and are recording, you meet the one party requirement. YOU are a party to the conversation, and YOU know you are being recorded. You do NOT have to let him know you are recording. Get that phone recorder, and tape away. Nothing he'll be able to do, because it's perfectly legal since YOU knew you were being recorded!
 

momself

Member
I just borrowed the tape recorder from a friend. It's a little bit bigger than the palm of my hand so I doubt it fits down my shirt like Ambr said. He should be served sometime within the next week and my house will be the first place he goes and I will hear all kinds of &$#@ then. Thanks again to all that offered advice!
I will keep everyone updated on what happens.
 

Ambr

Senior Member
The recorder for your phone.

Go to a local radio shack. They have a small adapter that looks like a suction cup with a plug in adapter for your tape recorder. It costs like 4 bucks. You put the suction cup on the hearing piece of your phone and it will record everything.
 

momself

Member
another question

I forgot to mention that when I spoke with my attorney yesterday he was talking about some sort of scheduled visitation. I told him that my ex works for the railroad and works in at least 3 different states and also is "on call" at all times. What will the judge say about his work schedule regarding visitation? The attorney said he HAS to have a set time each week to see her.
 

Ambr

Senior Member
Since his work schedule wouldn't allow a "scheduled time", they may try and make it so that he can call and make arrangements in advance.

This would work if you and dad can sit down and talk and actually agree on things, but if you do not have that type of relationship with dad then you want to be carefule that the order is not "to vague" in the description.

Ask for a time frame - he needs to call and arrange the visitation XX amount of days in advance.

I would also ask what his arrangements where going to be during his visiation time if he were "called out" for work. Will his parents be able to watch your child, etc.
 

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