M
Mom4Sons
Guest
This is a mess, please help!! California - 5 years ago when my son was 16 he dated(?!) a 19 year old female a couple of times (at that time she lived in the town we live in in Northern Calif. A week or two later she moved to Los Angeles and 3 or 4 months later, called me (his mother) and told me she was pregnant from my son. My son denied that she could have been pregnant from him so I couldn't get dates or anything to try and figure out if the baby could be his. I guess, because I was excited about a new baby in the family, I kept constant contact with her. I could only reach her after 11pm, and she always told me she had just gotten home from church. I had never seen this girl before, didn't know anyone that knew her to find out what she was like or anything so I stupidly believed her. My son was put down as the Father but he was only 16 years old, denied being the father and didn't go to Los Angeles so he didn't sign the birth cert. -We moved to Central Calif and after the baby was born they moved there also. I had her come stay with us because she swore the baby was my sons. This was against my sons wishes but I thought he was just trying to shun his responsiblities to the baby and knowing what that is like from my own Father, I wasn't going to let him do that. ---The mother ended up being a terror to have around and we all argued all the time so finally she left. She met another guy and about a week (if that long!) was living with him. ---We still don't know if this child is my sons but at first I did everything I could for the baby and the mother still let me visit with her. After a year or so the guy she is with decided he didn't want my son or any of our family around. They moved. My daughter found out where they lived and went over. The boyfriend attacked her and within a couple of weeks they moved again. Every once in awhile someone will see her and the little girl (at the mall, or wherever) and tell me what she looks like but no
one can find out where she lives. ---Since she has been in Central Calif she has always lived there but somehow managed to get welfare in Los Angeles. The DA in Los Angeles
sent child support papers to my home (I live in No Calif again) instead of to his home in Central Calif.) --Another stupid mistake I made: My son still received a few things at my home and I've always gone to the Post Office and signed for mail of his to be picked up. I signed and it was Child Support papers. --Well, I figured..the papers were from LA County and she lived in Central Calif. and had for the last (nearly) 6 years, maybe she went down there to get away from her boyfriend and filed for child support but I also figured beins she didn't actually live down there she would have to refile in Central Calif where she WAS and still IS living. --By then my son had gotten into trouble and was in jail. He was all stressed about going to court, what was going to happen to him...a million diffenent things and I didn't want to add any more stress so I didn't tell him about the papers. --That was another of my mistakes (believe me, no one could convince me more that I already have convinced myself of how stupid I was regarding the court papers -OR- how I should have believed my son from the beginning and minded my own business or (I've been on Disb Retire. and haven't had the money it costs to have the child tested to see if it is my sons), then, I should have borrowed or whatever it took to find out. Although my son is appealing his criminal case..if he loses he will be looking at 14 years. --I thought the LA county DA would at least check to find out who signed for my sons papers that were sent to him, see that he didn't sign and not do anything until they actually got ahold of him. Wrong! While I was trying to keep my son from this worry, LA county decided he could pay $450 a month. -I've typed up 4 letters, sent them to my son in prison for his signature and he mailed to a couple of DA's in LA county and the Attorney General's office. Finally he got a response but all it said was he should have done something about it when they sent him the papers and won't change a thing. To this day, each month my son receives (at my home, even though every letter sent to LA county had the address of the prison my son is in) a statement showing the thousands of dollars my son owes and it grows another $450. each month.
--I got a Family Support handbook (PUB 160 3/96)from the county courthouse I live in. Page 23, question 5) The other parent is in jail. Can I get support? Answer: Unless he/she has assets, like property or income from an outside source or from a work-release program, it is unlikely that support can be collected until he/she gets out of jail and receives income or acquires property. --My son is 22 years old. If he ends up having to do the present sentence he will be 35 years old when he gets out. At $450 each month for 14 years and no real work experience he will never be able to catch up and then probably (if no one will ever listen to the facts that the reason he didn't respond to the papers was because I didn't give them to him!!! -OR- take into consideration the amount of years he won't be able to work to pay this -OR- The fact that by law she should be held accountable for RAPE!! She was 19, my son 16. No he didn't look older..I have plenty of pictures of him to show that. And, YES, she knew how old he was (I didn't find out about her knowing he was 3 years younger than herself until I moved back to No Calif and ended up talking about it with a couple of my sons friends. --If a 19 year old female would have relations with a 16 year old boy and she put that on the very indepth, nosey request for child support forms, that alone should trigger the DA's thoughts regarding her morals and not even suggest an amount of child support without a paternity test. --I realize there are people that say that I should have had her arrested for rape when she called me the very first time saying she was pregnant and my son was the father. I couldn't get myself to do that. I thought about it but I just couldn't put the mother of the baby that could be my sons also...in jail. ---Guess I should have and not cared, she certainly doesn't care what is happening to my son!!!!!
I've got Power of Attorney from my son now to handle any/all legal work so I will continue to write letters to LA county. Each time I have to write a 2nd or 3rd letter with no response or action I will add at least one more name to the list of people I send it to. Whether it will/can
do any good or not I don't know but next it will be going to our Senators and Assemblyman. Maybe this time or maybe next time I'm not sure, one will go to the govenor then President...ANYONE I can think of that will do the work that LA County should be doing but isn't. I won't be writing letters to much longer though, next (I'll beg or borrow the money if I have to) and go to all the offices I've written to. I can't figure out how it took the mother a couple of months to get the court to grant her $450 support and it's takin us over a year (so far) and we are no closer to getting it modified then we were since we found out about it. My son just turned 22 which makes her 25 now. Not only does she have the child in question but she has 2 others and is pregnant again right now. --If $450. is the amount to be paid by a person in prison with no income, what is it for a struggling father working for minimum wage? Women sure seem to have it made...with the fourth child she is pregnant with, and with different fathers for the children at $450. per child she would be making clear, more money than some couples I know supporting their children by actually working.
NOW MY QUESTIONS: 1)The Statue of Limitations for rape? 2)In the Family handbook (mentioned above) is this saying a person in jail or prison has no income and child support isn't charged to him during the time of incarceration, meaning the monthly amount due is $0.00. And, then once released he is expected to pay the (in this case) $450.00 a month again -OR- is it saying as long as a person is in jail or prison there is nothing to do to enforce payment because he is already in jail, but, once he is released he is expected to catch up the (in this case) $75,600.00 or go back to prison? 3) We can't afford the test to find out if it fact this child is my sons. Is there a way, in prison, through the LA county child support office,(my son included this question in his letter also, there was no response at all regarding this) or any other resource we can look into to find out if it is his child or not? 4) I went to the county I live in last Wed. and asked for Modification of Child Support forms. I was given a form that said 'attachment' at the top and questioned it with the county faciliators office. I was told that Yes, there should be a front copy to it. The clerk didn't know where the top copy was kept but told me should would find out and have one mailed to me that day or email me the copy. Today is Sat and I still haven't received it. Knowing more about how this county works than what is good for me I'm sure I won't be getting it in the mail and if by some weird reason I do, there is no way it will be any time soon. I have found all kinds of Family Law forms on a variety of sites but I can't find one that actually says 'Modification of Child Support'. Have any free form sites to try? 5) A few people in town that I know (no experts on the subject) have told me that it is 'illegal' to try and collect child support from someone incarcerated....true or not? 6) Any ideas, help or suggestions to any of the above I sure would appreciate. Thank you
one can find out where she lives. ---Since she has been in Central Calif she has always lived there but somehow managed to get welfare in Los Angeles. The DA in Los Angeles
sent child support papers to my home (I live in No Calif again) instead of to his home in Central Calif.) --Another stupid mistake I made: My son still received a few things at my home and I've always gone to the Post Office and signed for mail of his to be picked up. I signed and it was Child Support papers. --Well, I figured..the papers were from LA County and she lived in Central Calif. and had for the last (nearly) 6 years, maybe she went down there to get away from her boyfriend and filed for child support but I also figured beins she didn't actually live down there she would have to refile in Central Calif where she WAS and still IS living. --By then my son had gotten into trouble and was in jail. He was all stressed about going to court, what was going to happen to him...a million diffenent things and I didn't want to add any more stress so I didn't tell him about the papers. --That was another of my mistakes (believe me, no one could convince me more that I already have convinced myself of how stupid I was regarding the court papers -OR- how I should have believed my son from the beginning and minded my own business or (I've been on Disb Retire. and haven't had the money it costs to have the child tested to see if it is my sons), then, I should have borrowed or whatever it took to find out. Although my son is appealing his criminal case..if he loses he will be looking at 14 years. --I thought the LA county DA would at least check to find out who signed for my sons papers that were sent to him, see that he didn't sign and not do anything until they actually got ahold of him. Wrong! While I was trying to keep my son from this worry, LA county decided he could pay $450 a month. -I've typed up 4 letters, sent them to my son in prison for his signature and he mailed to a couple of DA's in LA county and the Attorney General's office. Finally he got a response but all it said was he should have done something about it when they sent him the papers and won't change a thing. To this day, each month my son receives (at my home, even though every letter sent to LA county had the address of the prison my son is in) a statement showing the thousands of dollars my son owes and it grows another $450. each month.
--I got a Family Support handbook (PUB 160 3/96)from the county courthouse I live in. Page 23, question 5) The other parent is in jail. Can I get support? Answer: Unless he/she has assets, like property or income from an outside source or from a work-release program, it is unlikely that support can be collected until he/she gets out of jail and receives income or acquires property. --My son is 22 years old. If he ends up having to do the present sentence he will be 35 years old when he gets out. At $450 each month for 14 years and no real work experience he will never be able to catch up and then probably (if no one will ever listen to the facts that the reason he didn't respond to the papers was because I didn't give them to him!!! -OR- take into consideration the amount of years he won't be able to work to pay this -OR- The fact that by law she should be held accountable for RAPE!! She was 19, my son 16. No he didn't look older..I have plenty of pictures of him to show that. And, YES, she knew how old he was (I didn't find out about her knowing he was 3 years younger than herself until I moved back to No Calif and ended up talking about it with a couple of my sons friends. --If a 19 year old female would have relations with a 16 year old boy and she put that on the very indepth, nosey request for child support forms, that alone should trigger the DA's thoughts regarding her morals and not even suggest an amount of child support without a paternity test. --I realize there are people that say that I should have had her arrested for rape when she called me the very first time saying she was pregnant and my son was the father. I couldn't get myself to do that. I thought about it but I just couldn't put the mother of the baby that could be my sons also...in jail. ---Guess I should have and not cared, she certainly doesn't care what is happening to my son!!!!!
I've got Power of Attorney from my son now to handle any/all legal work so I will continue to write letters to LA county. Each time I have to write a 2nd or 3rd letter with no response or action I will add at least one more name to the list of people I send it to. Whether it will/can
do any good or not I don't know but next it will be going to our Senators and Assemblyman. Maybe this time or maybe next time I'm not sure, one will go to the govenor then President...ANYONE I can think of that will do the work that LA County should be doing but isn't. I won't be writing letters to much longer though, next (I'll beg or borrow the money if I have to) and go to all the offices I've written to. I can't figure out how it took the mother a couple of months to get the court to grant her $450 support and it's takin us over a year (so far) and we are no closer to getting it modified then we were since we found out about it. My son just turned 22 which makes her 25 now. Not only does she have the child in question but she has 2 others and is pregnant again right now. --If $450. is the amount to be paid by a person in prison with no income, what is it for a struggling father working for minimum wage? Women sure seem to have it made...with the fourth child she is pregnant with, and with different fathers for the children at $450. per child she would be making clear, more money than some couples I know supporting their children by actually working.
NOW MY QUESTIONS: 1)The Statue of Limitations for rape? 2)In the Family handbook (mentioned above) is this saying a person in jail or prison has no income and child support isn't charged to him during the time of incarceration, meaning the monthly amount due is $0.00. And, then once released he is expected to pay the (in this case) $450.00 a month again -OR- is it saying as long as a person is in jail or prison there is nothing to do to enforce payment because he is already in jail, but, once he is released he is expected to catch up the (in this case) $75,600.00 or go back to prison? 3) We can't afford the test to find out if it fact this child is my sons. Is there a way, in prison, through the LA county child support office,(my son included this question in his letter also, there was no response at all regarding this) or any other resource we can look into to find out if it is his child or not? 4) I went to the county I live in last Wed. and asked for Modification of Child Support forms. I was given a form that said 'attachment' at the top and questioned it with the county faciliators office. I was told that Yes, there should be a front copy to it. The clerk didn't know where the top copy was kept but told me should would find out and have one mailed to me that day or email me the copy. Today is Sat and I still haven't received it. Knowing more about how this county works than what is good for me I'm sure I won't be getting it in the mail and if by some weird reason I do, there is no way it will be any time soon. I have found all kinds of Family Law forms on a variety of sites but I can't find one that actually says 'Modification of Child Support'. Have any free form sites to try? 5) A few people in town that I know (no experts on the subject) have told me that it is 'illegal' to try and collect child support from someone incarcerated....true or not? 6) Any ideas, help or suggestions to any of the above I sure would appreciate. Thank you