I have a question?

[Kattie]

I need Advice...

What is the name of your state? New York


undefined I am 13 going on 14 in November... And I really like this guy thats 18 going on to 19 in October.. I like him a lot and he likes me back My friends told me he really can't get arrested only if you had sex and we haven't im not stupid and he isn't either... We only hang out on Fridays at the roller skating rink... My parents WILL NOT let me talk to him on the phone they have blocked him from calling me they won't let me see any of my friends that hes friends with I got my bike taken away my phone line is gone... Everything is going down the drain... I like him a lot we have a really big connection with each we can talk about anything without having to feel sorry or be upset... He says to me that my parents can do whatever they want call the police on me who cares I'm still always going to be here I just need to know if I do go to jail you have to be waiting for me when I get out... I told him Im behind him all away theres nothing stopping me from seeing you... I made that promise to him... My friends keep telling me he can't get arrested only if you had sex so that would mean Rape but we have not were never together... And plus I'm not ready and he hasn't done anything ro said anything to presser me into it hes been sweet about it and plus he doesn't care for sex anyways...

I NEED HELP PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME ADVICE!!!

 

[cbg]

You are WAY too young to be seeing a guy his age. Your parents absolutely have the right to keep you from seeing him, and if you have sex he most definitely can be arrested.

 

[stealth2]

Even if you don't have sex, your parents can have a restraining order put on him to keep him away and/or have him charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor if you sneak calls to him or sneak out to see him. Adult men are not interested in little girls for their minds or beautiful souls. They're interested in the control they can exert - you yourself said that he wants to you wait for him if he goes to jail. Give me a break - you're not Juliet, and he's no Romeo. Find a boy your own age. If you were my kid, he'd be under an RO and you'd likely be in a boarding school far away.

 

[Crazed98]

he hasn't done anything ro said anything to presser me into it hes been sweet about it and plus he doesn't care for sex anyways...

HAHA yea keep thinking that.

 

[Hopkins306]

a lot of people keep posting their opinions instead of dealing with the law facts. what stealth2 said was right. The legal age of consent is 17 in new york.

 

[Kattie]

...

Even if you don't have sex, your parents can have a restraining order put on him to keep him away and/or have him charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor if you sneak calls to him or sneak out to see him. Adult men are not interested in little girls for their minds or beautiful souls. They're interested in the control they can exert - you yourself said that he wants to you wait for him if he goes to jail. Give me a break - you're not Juliet, and he's no Romeo. Find a boy your own age. If you were my kid, he'd be under an RO and you'd likely be in a boarding school far away.

He is not like that though... Hes one of them guys that is NOT like that... My parents they don't even know him... He is not a bad guy he never said anything about having sex or anything... And I can talk to him about a lot of stuff some people I can't talk to about... We have such a big connection with each... He asked me if I was going to be there for him when he gets out I told him yes... I will be waiting for him... Im not the only one who has a problem with the age difference he does too but I can't change how I feel about somewhere speacially how I feel about him... I can't just wake up the next morning with him not in my life... I have things I want in a guy and he has every single one of them things that I want in a guy... Hes only had 2 girlfriends in his life... and hes still a virgin... Hes really commited and I am too I don't want to go through one guy after another I want one guy... And hes that one.... I don't know what else to say....

 

[stealth2]

You're 13. I remember 13. You're too young for such a serious and committed relationship.

 

[Wolflmg]

He is not like that though... Hes one of them guys that is NOT like that... My parents they don't even know him... He is not a bad guy he never said anything about having sex or anything... And I can talk to him about a lot of stuff some people I can't talk to about... We have such a big connection with each... He asked me if I was going to be there for him when he gets out I told him yes... I will be waiting for him... Im not the only one who has a problem with the age difference he does too but I can't change how I feel about somewhere speacially how I feel about him... I can't just wake up the next morning with him not in my life... I have things I want in a guy and he has every single one of them things that I want in a guy... Hes only had 2 girlfriends in his life... and hes still a virgin... Hes really commited and I am too I don't want to go through one guy after another I want one guy... And hes that one.... I don't know what else to say....

If he is what you say he is then he can wait to have any kind of dateing relationship with you until you are 18. Otherwise talk with your parents, they are doing the right thing about wanting to protect you. But maybe something could be worked out where he can come over once a week and visit with you and your parents, so that they can get to know him better and so one.

But most 18 year old guys, do not want to have a lasting relationship with girls as young as 13, just a heads up.

 

[titansfan]

18

yes there is something that can stop you from seeing him-your parents. you are under their care and control untill you are 18, and whatever they say goes.if they say you cant see or speak to him, thats it.if you run away with him, you can be reported as a runaway, and he can get in trouble for contributing to the delinquincy of a minor.your parent may even put in in juvenile dention and have you labeled incorrigable if you continue to defy them. he has no business dating you, you are a minor, he is an adult, period.

 

[Kattie]

.....

If he is what you say he is then he can wait to have any kind of dateing relationship with you until you are 18. Otherwise talk with your parents, they are doing the right thing about wanting to protect you. But maybe something could be worked out where he can come over once a week and visit with you and your parents, so that they can get to know him better and so one.

But most 18 year old guys, do not want to have a lasting relationship with girls as young as 13, just a heads up.

I understand what your saying... But like he's told me that I am worth it if he has to go to jail then he will go I don't want him to I'm not trying to put on stress or anything I don't like having to sneak around or lie to my parents I hate it! But thats the last option they are giving me... I tried talking to my parents asking them they could just sit and talk to him just for a little awhile just so they know where he is coming from about all this... Just so they know He isn't a bad guy...
I kind of figured that about the whole 18 year old thing who wouldn't want to wait for a 13 year old girl... My grandmother told me can't you wait until your 16... I told her he would not be here by then speacially with school and crap hes not going to wait for me forever and I understand that completely... He would eventaully have to move on with his life... and so would I... But I will always have him in the back of mind and he told me the same... Like what happen if I did wait for you... I don't know something like that...
And I do understand how my parents want to protect me and all but they need to let go of my hand so I can make the decisons and if they wrong I have to learn from them... They say there just guiding me and stuff I love that they are doing that but they gotta let go sometime, even if its for a little while...

 

[Happy Trails]

In a few years, you'll look back on this and laugh. Maybe even sooner.

You really should do as your parent say, they are looking out for you.

Here is a cute song:

Don't Cry Joni
By-Conway Twitty

(Woman)
Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up someday you'll see
Saving all my kisses just for you
Signed with love forever true

(Man)
Joni was the girl who lived next door
I've known her I guess 10 years or more
Joni wrote me a note one day
And this is what she had to say

(Woman)
Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up someday you'll see
Saving all my kisses just for you
Signed with love forever true

(Man)
Slowly I read her note once more
Then I went over to the house next door
Her tear drops fell like rain that day
When I told Joni what I had to say

Joni, Joni please don't cry
You'll forget me by and by
You're just fifteen
I'm twenty two
And Joni I just cant wait for you

Soon I left our little home town
Got me a job and tried to settle down
But these words kept haunting my memory
The words that Joni said to me

(Woman)
Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up some day you'll see
Saving all my kisses just for you
Signed with love forever true

(Man)
I packed my clothes
And I caught a plane
I had to see Joni
I had to explain
How my heart was filled
With her memory
And ask my Joni if she'd marry me

I ran all the way
To the house next door
But things weren't like they were before
My tear drops fell like rain that day
When I heard what Joni had to say

(Woman)
Jimmy, Jimmy please don't cry
You'll forget me by and by
It's been five years since you've been gone
Jimmy I married your best friend John

 

[stealth2]

My grandmother told me can't you wait until your 16... I told her he would not be here by then speacially with school and crap hes not going to wait for me forever and I understand that completely... He would eventaully have to move on with his life... and so would I...

Then it's not something that will last anyway. The two of you are in totally different places in life. You need to finish your childhood, while he needs to learn how to be an adult. You still have a LOT of experiences to go through over the next 4-5 years.

 

[cbg]

Kattie, it doesn't matter if this guy walks on water. If your parents say no, it's no.

You do not have any options. Your parents are acting legally and are entirely within their rights to protect their daughter from experiences they feel are harmful. In fact, that's their job as parents. They've been around a lot longer than you have and know some things you don't.

 

[stmfitr636]

What's the dealio?

Why is it that you'll have to wait years for a convict's release, but he can't wait years to have sex with a child and avoid going to jail? He's already admitted to be willing to suffer the legal ramifications of the crime he is going to commit (regardless of you saying it's not going to happen).

If my 14 yr old girl told me this, she'd not see the sun nor moon for 4 years.

 

[CdwJava]

It is posts like these that make me so thankful that I have only sons ... I don't think I would survive a daughter!

- Carl