i need advice about custody .. please help?????

[gypsierose]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? WI

i have a 15 year old son.. my ex was an estranged ex... left for 10 years... and then earlier in 2004 i found his address on the web... my son wanted to go talk to him.. i took him...
Sadly My ex hadnt changed much and was were i had expected him to be...
my son however saw it as an oppertunity to get to know his bio- father...
( i remarried when my son was 5 and step- father and son get along fine.. not the closest relationship.. but its a son father one.... they created)
well it lasted about 3-4 weeks.. and then my ex was gone... stopped calling and coming to get him for the weekend... now 7 months later.. i have a teenage son.. ( rebelous a little) has problems.. is in counseling and see's a psyc. everyother month for meds...
well there's been a disagreement in the house and about the rules that he must live under.. ( tipicle teenager going through life)
So i suggested that we try to contact his father again and see were it goes... he agreed.. and set it up for him to pick him up on Saturday 1/1/05 on the condition that he was to tell his father he was to be home by 6 that night for a family get together....
well 6 that night came and he never came home.. when i called.. and asked what was going on the responce was i want to live with dad.
I said that i would talk to step dad and we would discuss this....
then spoke with my ex and asked why he didnt return him by 6 .. thats when i found out that my son had told him that he was going there to stay...
i had asked him the obvious questions... will he be safe? what about school? what about meds.. doctors ect... and then i asked if he was able to support him,,, thats when he told me no but he would figure something out...
i told him that he needs to come over on sunday so we can sit down and discuss this like adults and come to an agreement..he wouldnt agree on a time but i did get him to agree to coming.....
MY question is......is there such a thing as temporary physical placement? and should i let the courts know? ( my ex owes all back childsupport )
I want my son to be protected and i want my custody to be protected ( as a saftey net if nothing else) i dont know my ex anymore.. i just know what i see.. and i am scared.. but i also think that my son needs to learn this life lesson on his own...can anyone one help me here? PLEASE???????

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? WI

i have a 15 year old son.. my ex was an estranged ex... left for 10 years... and then earlier in 2004 i found his address on the web... my son wanted to go talk to him.. i took him...
Sadly My ex hadnt changed much and was were i had expected him to be...
my son however saw it as an oppertunity to get to know his bio- father...
( i remarried when my son was 5 and step- father and son get along fine.. not the closest relationship.. but its a son father one.... they created)
well it lasted about 3-4 weeks.. and then my ex was gone... stopped calling and coming to get him for the weekend... now 7 months later.. i have a teenage son.. ( rebelous a little) has problems.. is in counseling and see's a psyc. everyother month for meds...
well there's been a disagreement in the house and about the rules that he must live under.. ( tipicle teenager going through life)
So i suggested that we try to contact his father again and see were it goes... he agreed.. and set it up for him to pick him up on Saturday 1/1/05 on the condition that he was to tell his father he was to be home by 6 that night for a family get together....
well 6 that night came and he never came home.. when i called.. and asked what was going on the responce was i want to live with dad.
I said that i would talk to step dad and we would discuss this....
then spoke with my ex and asked why he didnt return him by 6 .. thats when i found out that my son had told him that he was going there to stay...
i had asked him the obvious questions... will he be safe? what about school? what about meds.. doctors ect... and then i asked if he was able to support him,,, thats when he told me no but he would figure something out...
i told him that he needs to come over on sunday so we can sit down and discuss this like adults and come to an agreement..he wouldnt agree on a time but i did get him to agree to coming.....
MY question is......is there such a thing as temporary physical placement? and should i let the courts know? ( my ex owes all back childsupport )
I want my son to be protected and i want my custody to be protected ( as a saftey net if nothing else) i dont know my ex anymore.. i just know what i see.. and i am scared.. but i also think that my son needs to learn this life lesson on his own...can anyone one help me here? PLEASE???????

Well, I can see why you want to give your son the opportunity to learn a life lesson, but I think its a dangerous experiment when you know absolutely nothing about dad or dad's life. My advice would be to insist that your child come home now, and that you will allow him to live with his dad on a trial basis next summer, for the summer, and then see how things stand at that point.

 

[gypsierose]

Update... I have tryed to get him to come home and he refuses... his natural father has taken him off his medication. refuses to let me see him, this man that supports him has called me and my 13 year old daughter and has screamed at us to stop calling his house and to forget that my son exists. I tryed to go to the police and they called down there, and they told the police that i had sighned my custody over. I would never do such a thing! and now the police tell me there is nothing that i can do except get a lawyer. finacialy i cant get a lawyer. we live week to week paycheck to paycheck.. My current husband has started to work overtime as much as possible to try to get some money up for an attorney. but that money wont come in for another 2 weeks... My 13 year old daughter is very sick, had her tonsils taken out on the 5th of january, she is so upset the hospital was reluctant to release her in fear she would get to upset and hurt herself during recovery. I dont know what to do. I want my son home were he belongs. were i know he will be taken care of. everyone i have talked to says get an attorney.. were do you go if you cant afford one? I've called almost every attorney in Milwaukee, they all want a retainer fee... were do i go from here? please help....anyone????

 

[casa]

Update... I have tryed to get him to come home and he refuses... his natural father has taken him off his medication. refuses to let me see him, this man that supports him has called me and my 13 year old daughter and has screamed at us to stop calling his house and to forget that my son exists. I tryed to go to the police and they called down there, and they told the police that i had sighned my custody over. I would never do such a thing! and now the police tell me there is nothing that i can do except get a lawyer. finacialy i cant get a lawyer. we live week to week paycheck to paycheck.. My current husband has started to work overtime as much as possible to try to get some money up for an attorney. but that money wont come in for another 2 weeks... My 13 year old daughter is very sick, had her tonsils taken out on the 5th of january, she is so upset the hospital was reluctant to release her in fear she would get to upset and hurt herself during recovery. I dont know what to do. I want my son home were he belongs. were i know he will be taken care of. everyone i have talked to says get an attorney.. were do you go if you cant afford one? I've called almost every attorney in Milwaukee, they all want a retainer fee... were do i go from here? please help....anyone????

I don't know how backed up legal aid is in Milwaukee, but it's worth a shot to try to check into it. Also check into any pro bono attorneys that may be available. Utilize free attorney consults to get an idea of where exactly you stand.

Is your daughter in counseling? Seems appropriate considering this change has impacted her so much.

Do you have custody paperwork re; the son? What does it say? If it says the son is to live with you, then you can file contempt in court. If you had a verbal agreement with the son's father to allow him to live there, you might be in a predicament. It will boil down to you saying x and him saying y, and the judge deciding on z. But if your current court orders say you have custody than you legally should be able to pick up the son. Where is he attending school??

Is your son's medication prescribed and for what condition? Have you contacted his Dr. to get his view on your son being unmedicated? Documentation from the Dr. (if the Dr. feels it is detrimental to be unmedicated) will help.

 

[gypsierose]

UPDATED
I have contacted the lagal aide for milwaukee and they dont take family cases. they did however give me two more places that might be able to help and they go from your income based on pay... they both due intake over the phone only and one is every 1st and 3rd wednesday of the month and only the first 7 callers get appointments if there cases are good enough(?) so i'm waiting for the 19th of january for that one.. and the second one i keep getting a message staiting that the mailbox is full try back again at a nother time... so i call every day 3 to 4 times a day..( same message so far)
my son is diagnoised with severe ADHD, ODD ( opositional defience order), and bi-polar disorder... so his meds are very important... he's been under the care of phyciatrist and phycologyst for years. and within the last 8 months we have found the right mixture of meds for him.. yes i immediatley called them both and told them what was going on.. they both told me the side effects of him being taken off meds so quickly.. were all hoping for the best..and they both agreed to write an affidavide to his conditions...
i do have my final divorce papers dated 11 years ago... that was the last time i have gone to court at all about my children..
yes i have my daughter in counseling also... life hasnt been very easy for us with my sons conditions.. but we all love him and want him home...
about school he is enrolled up here with me... i've talked to the teachers administrators and were all hoping he comes home soon. in the meantime he is excused and will not fail instead he will get an incomplete if he doesnt return before the grades close.
in the meantime, i'm just taking care of my daughter and hoping that he will come home soon.

 

[BethM]

First I have to say this and please accept my apology but I can't help myself. Why the hell, after what his father had already put him through did you suggest getting in touch with the man again?!?!?! OK I feel a bit better.

Where did the divorce take place? Do you still live in the same town or state? Call the court clerk's office in the county where your divorce took place and ask her what you need to do to petition the courts for an emergency hearing regarding this situation. You do not have to have an attorney do this for you. The clerk will be able to tell you want needs to be filled out, what the filing fees are and how to go about doing it all.

Where does the father live? Is he in the same state you are in? Go to the DA of the county your divorce took place. Show them your divorce decree that states you have custody of this child. Tell them that his father has kidnapped him and is refusing to bring him home or allow you to see him or talk to him. Ask them what needs to be done for criminal kidnap charges to be filed.

When you get your son home again, for God's sake, keep him there. Don't offer to contact his father again and DON'T EVER give such options to a child with the problems your child is experiencing.

 

[Reyna7]

Police/Custody Papers

When you say they "called down there", how far is there? Is there anyway you can go to the local police where he is living with a copy of the custody papers showing you have custody and tell them that he has been kidnapped? I would think with him being on meds and enrolled in school etc that what your ex has done is illegal...maybe I am wrong.

Do you even have an address as to where he is living?

 

[nextwife]

Milwaukee is a city of many diverse distinct "neighborhoods". For now, if you do wish to know about the area in which he is staying at this moment, you can do some research at the following sites:

http://www.uwm.edu/Library/digilib/Milwaukee/
http://www.milwaukee.gov/display/router.asp?docid=39
http://www.milwaukee.org/visitors/overview/index.cfm?action=neighborhood
http://www.onmilwaukee.com/market/articles/bayview.html

I presume you are referring to the city of Milwaukee, rather than the Milwaukee Metro area? I'm in community 12 minutes north of downtown, and it is VERY safe and has a phenomonal, private-school quality, public school system.

 

[LdiJ]

She might consider talking to CPS...if the child has been taken off meds that the child needs that may be enough to bring medical abuse/neglect against him. Particularly since he doesn't have custody.