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raindanser14

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? TN

I have a serious issue that has made me a nervous wreck for months now. My ex (not ex husband) is talking about what all he is going to do to get his son. However, we haven't been to court yet about visitation but support has been set. THis morning, my son who is 4, told me that he doesnt want to go to his dad's this weekend and i told his father the situation. Well of course, he thinks that it is because I am trying to interfere with his relationship with his new girl, which he has moved in to his house and all and has a child. My son told me that he doesnt feel comfortable over there with her kid and i have heard his father curse me while my son is with him and tell me that it is none of my business what goes on while my son is with him. He moved everything too fast for my son's little mind to take in and he is acting out towards me. It means the world to me that he opens up to me now, but i cant even talk to his father without him disrespecting me in the process. His father beat me when my child was 1 and it was in front of my other child and i thought he had changed but the outrageous things he calls and says leads me to doubt the positive aspect he would even have when my child is with him. I need advise!!!!!!
 


Zephyr

Senior Member
OUR child..............practice saying that before going to court


and legally you don't have to let child go over there, would it be wrong to keep the child from dad, probably, but legally right now you can

maybe having a conference with dad and child (in a public place) or with a mediator would help you all come to some common ground.
 

CJane

Senior Member
raindanser14 said:
What is the name of your state? TN

I have a serious issue that has made me a nervous wreck for months now. My ex (not ex husband) is talking about what all he is going to do to get his son. However, we haven't been to court yet about visitation but support has been set.
So, there's no visitation order at all? If that's the case, you aren't obligated to let him see his son. HOWEVER, I don't necessarily think that's in the child's best interest. No 4 year old should be allowed to make those decisions or given that much power.
THis morning, my son who is 4, told me that he doesnt want to go to his dad's this weekend and i told his father the situation. Well of course, he thinks that it is because I am trying to interfere with his relationship with his new girl, which he has moved in to his house and all and has a child. My son told me that he doesnt feel comfortable over there with her kid and i have heard his father curse me while my son is with him and tell me that it is none of my business what goes on while my son is with him. He moved everything too fast for my son's little mind to take in and he is acting out towards me. It means the world to me that he opens up to me now, but i cant even talk to his father without him disrespecting me in the process.
There is probably little that you can do to change Dad's behavior toward you - if you could, you would have fixed it and you'd still be together. You should hear some of the things that my ex and his wife say about me and my boyfriend (yes, in front of the kids). I thought about screaming contempt every time, and then realized that there's not a court order on the planet that's going to make him behave because he thinks he's totally right. *shrug* Some things, you just have to learn to live with, and this may be one of them. Stop talking to him unless absolutely necessary, and if you can manage it, hold all discussions via email or speakerphone with someone else in the room so that you're not 'alone' or reacting to him on the spur of the moment.
His father beat me when my child was 1 and it was in front of my other child and i thought he had changed but the outrageous things he calls and says leads me to doubt the positive aspect he would even have when my child is with him. I need advise!!!!!!
If you have documented PROOF of the domestic violence, you may stand a chance of getting supervised visitation, but even that isn't a sure thing.
 

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