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Children and I want to move, Ex not listening, wants to keep them from my family.

What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

I have joint custody with ex, and physical custody of 2 kids. I am the custodial parent. Which really means nothing here in this commonwealth of PA. I was married for 8 yrs. Divorced for 8 years. Kept to every agreement. My kids are 14, and 13. Honor roll students. My family all of them live in Arizonia. They have been there for all of this time. I can never go see them or the children either. I went 5 yrs ago, he knew 6 months in advance, and 2 weeks before the trip.....he charged me with kidnapping!!!!! He lied, and I had to go to a hearing before I left or I wouldnt be able to go.....my attorney did a crap job and blew me off....I was a bus driver for the state at that time, for handicapped children, and discrimated against. My problem now is this......HIS FAMILY LIVES IN NEW jERSEY, controlling, and so is my ex....they never give permission for the kids to see my family, I want to move to arizonia....he has harrassed me here, I have no family support here at all....Ive worked 4 jobs to keep food on the table, my children want to go, Ive indured hardship after hardship here. My kids support me, they feel their civil rights are being violated. Ive moved from rental to rental...can not afford the area anymore....I have to move right now, and cannot find a decent place to live. I make to much for welfare, but not enough to live here. I have a job and house and 16 relatives waiting for us in arizonia. Also, His family never gives, takes, or does anything for my kids ever!!!!!! Just controls our lives..misery loves co. $2000. for an attorney here..and theres no gaurantees. 16 yrs for them ...... nothing for me and my family!! PLEASE HELP....BEING HELD PRISONER IN PA Also, we asked him very nice if we could move, come to any agreement as far as visitation, he always pays child support, but he is controlling to me and my children. Over the past 2 weeks, he has metally abused the kids, saying he will never see them again if they move and questions their love and does not listen to their views at all. He is a controlling, 15 yr. recovering alcoholic, in AA. But, he is insercure, a bully, that gets everything his and his familys way...He moved here 2 yrs. ago to the same town we are in. Puts me down to the kids..and I've had enough. I put up with it for the kids when they were small...but they are older now and I've had enough.......Please any suggestions or anyone knowing PA law........????????
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I'm not sure what advice to give to you. I can tell you what I, personally would do if it were me.

From what I hear, courts will not look down on you if you are wanting to move to better yours and your childrens lives. I would write down what kind of living you make now (income, expenses, ect) and what kind of living your are going to have in AZ. It would be great if you knew EXACTLY where you would work and live and how much you would be making. I would also write up a PRESUMED visitation schedule for out of state parents. After I had all this in order, I would motion to the court regarding a move to better my living situation. Have everything notarized, t's crossed and i's dotted. The ex WILL object. But also you are lucky enough that your children are old enough to voice their opinion. They are not old enough to DECIDE but the courts SHOULD take into consideration their wants and needs (Especially if the ex is playing mind games with them)

If you cannot get "permission" from your ex, get it from the court. If need be have your family come and testify on your behalf about the type of lives they have and the support and the type of living you could provide.

I hope this helps, sorry I couldn't help any further.


I will write everything down the pro's of a better living in Az. I hope the courts will see it. My children are scared of fighting their dad. But they want to see my family, and know we all will have a healthier life there. they refuse to see him anymore, and he is now laying alot of guilt on them. It is terrible. In 16 years his family has not once took my kids anywhere or have them sleep over. They are missing a childhood of fun with cousins and family....Thanks....I welcome any suggestions to help better prepare my case.


I found this information for you. I hope it helps.



Relocation cases in Pennsylvania are generally difficult cases to resolve out of court, especially if the distance that one parent is moving to is more than several hours away. Historically, a parent who wanted to relocate with a child or children had to ask the Court for permission. The parent who is moving away had to prove that the move was in the best interest of the minor and that the parent who was moving away was doing so for "pure" reasons and not solely to frustrate the custodial rights of the parent who was not moving.
The cases have changed to a degree recently, although permission by the Court is still required. Now, the Courts have begun to hold that since the minor child has lived with the custodial parent all along, the child would probably be more comfortable moving with the custodial parent and as long as the reason the parent wants to move is a good reason, the court is more inclined than it used to be to permit the move. A relocation of more than several hours will have a substantial impact upon custody time that the minor child will have with the non-custodial parent since the "every other weekend" norm will be impossible.

The trial of a relocation case, as with any custody trial, is often a very expensive and time consuming task.

-- Lee A. Schwartz, Attorney at law

Also read this, regarding reasonable visitation when you move. Agree with allowing unlimited vistation. And document everything he says, about not see the kids if you move.try negotiating with your ex out of court. Offer him for instance a 50% reduction in child support and additional visitation that you will pay 50% of the flight costs back and forth. Or perhaps offer him a 25% reduction in support and you will pay for 100% of the transportation costs. If you will be so much better off, this will enable the children to still see dad and not break him financially. if I find any more info I will let you know.


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