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#47
Then you need to cogently explain the situation. The dribs and drabs of your posting is not clear. We are not able to see in your history with the ex and know why you are where you are.
He isolated me first. Saying my friends were making fun of me behind my back. He would not take me back up north to where I lived. When I ran out of money for my phone I had no phone. He would go through my stuff I had no privacy. My sis was gonna file a missing persons for me because I'd had no contact with her for a while. He kicked me out only to drag me in with his arm around my neck. Then he held a gun to me saying see what I have . I could not have any friends go anywhere. I had no car no money nothing. No contact with any of my family. He sexually assaulted me forcing me to be intimate when he wanted. Tried to force sex the other way. He has thrown me down and kicked me for looking out the window. Grabbed my arm so hard there were bruises. Has pulled my hair while hitting me. Has had his hands around my throat. Has kicked me out then refused to let me leave. Is extremely jealous and controlling. When I got pregnant wanted me to hide my pregnancy. When I had my son wanted only his last name for him. His mother tried to take over raising my son. Wouldn't allow me to take my son out for two years. No car. Because he said he'd get sick. Got mad when I walked to dollar tree. Left saying was not his son didn't wanted him. Has made my son afraid saying if you do not play with me I'll leave you. If you don't do this I'll leave you. If you don't behave this way I'll leave you. He has left many times saying my son was not his and didn't want him. He has threatened to take him from me. His aunt and him had a conversation where she said if you get him to Colombia she will not find him or you. I am afraid he will disappear with my son. He is very manipulative. Puts down America all the time. To my son saying he's only colombian. But he was born here. He has done alot
 
#49
How many times did you report his abuse to the police? What proof do you have?
Secret calls to my sis when I could get to a payphone. Texts when I finally got a phone. He was arrested in 2011 for dv. Texts to my mother she has saved them all. Texts and calls to the one friend I found again from college. His mother and father witnesses some but of course they will lie for him they have before. I have been in counseling for this now and they say I have ptsd. Also when I get too upset I have trouble talkibg
 
#50
Secret calls to my sis when I could get to a payphone. Texts when I finally got a phone. He was arrested in 2011 for dv. Texts to my mother she has saved them all. Texts and calls to the one friend I found again from college. His mother and father witnesses some but of course they will lie for him they have before. I have been in counseling for this now and they say I have ptsd. Also when I get too upset I have trouble talking. The counselor has said it's my body's way of dealing with it all
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
#51
Secret calls to my sis when I could get to a payphone. Texts when I finally got a phone. He was arrested in 2011 for dv. Texts to my mother she has saved them all. Texts and calls to the one friend I found again from college. His mother and father witnesses some but of course they will lie for him they have before. I have been in counseling for this now and they say I have ptsd. Also when I get too upset I have trouble talkibg
You want to relocate to another state, and for the father to have no parenting time at all.

Your lawyer is doing what is legally possible, given your inability to answer questions succinctly and factually with legally relevant information.

The most recent arrest for dv, according to you, is 2011 and your son is only 5. You were asked directly, repeatedly, about how often you reported him to the police, and this is what you come up with. It is 2018. Your child did not exist in 2011. What happened in 2011 is not legally relevant in determining custody and visitation.

Texts are not necessarily admissible. I'm not sure how you think payphone conversations count - I don't think your sister's testimony that she talked to you will prove anything, as the court will expect her to be automatically biased in your favor. And unless the witnesses can be compelled to testify truthfully, when they have a history of lying...

If he will agree to supervised visitation, great, because if you cannot put together a list of coherent list of legally relevant reasons in court, a judge could decide that he's not a danger to the child and rule that supervision isn't necessary.

The only issue about Dad's immigration status that is relevant to custody and visitation is whether there is a credible risk that he will take the child and leave/disappear. By the way, Columbia is a Hague Convention country.

If you get permission from a court to move away with you son, be prepared to pay all travel costs to facilitate visitation on your son with his Dad.

Do not move without court permission. Dad can use it against you.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
#52
You want to relocate to another state, and for the father to have no parenting time at all.

Your lawyer is doing what is legally possible, given your inability to answer questions succinctly and factually with legally relevant information.

The most recent arrest for dv, according to you, is 2011 and your son is only 5. You were asked directly, repeatedly, about how often you reported him to the police, and this is what you come up with. It is 2018. Your child did not exist in 2011. What happened in 2011 is not legally relevant in determining custody and visitation.

Texts are not necessarily admissible. I'm not sure how you think payphone conversations count - I don't think your sister's testimony that she talked to you will prove anything, as the court will expect her to be automatically biased in your favor. And unless the witnesses can be compelled to testify truthfully, when they have a history of lying...

If he will agree to supervised visitation, great, because if you cannot put together a list of coherent list of legally relevant reasons in court, a judge could decide that he's not a danger to the child and rule that supervision isn't necessary.

The only issue about Dad's immigration status that is relevant to custody and visitation is whether there is a credible risk that he will take the child and leave/disappear. By the way, Columbia is a Hague Convention country.

If you get permission from a court to move away with you son, be prepared to pay all travel costs to facilitate visitation on your son with his Dad.

Do not move without court permission. Dad can use it against you.
None of this is what she wants to hear. She wants to be told she can do as she likes and there will be no repercussions for her. Sorry, honey. The courts don't work that way. You have no proof that your ex is abusive so the court is not going to listen to your tale of woe. Your ex has just as much right to parent his kid as you do so accept that for the fact that it is.
 
#53
None of this is what she wants to hear. She wants to be told she can do as she likes and there will be no repercussions for her. Sorry, honey. The courts don't work that way. You have no proof that your ex is abusive so the court is not going to listen to your tale of woe. Your ex has just as much right to parent his kid as you do so accept that for the fact that it is.
Nope
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
#54
Illiari, I am going to suggest that you contact a local women's shelter or domestic violence shelter. They will be able to offer you some help and resources. A forum like this is really not a good place for someone who has truly been in a seriously domestic violence situation. Unfortunately, a lot of people cry domestic violence or abuse just to pull one over on the other parent in a separation situation. Therefore all of us here tend to be jaded and unwilling to recognize a true domestic violence situation. You will get better help from a domestic violence shelter.
 
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