I need some info

[misslawli]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

I Joined this forum to find out how to terminate the parental rights of my sons father. After reading some of these threads I now realize I probably won't be able to. I dont have a stepfather to adopt him. My main concern is that if anything ever happens to me I don't want his father to get him. I would rather him just be gone. For the first 7 months of my pregnancy everything was wonderfull. Then one night he just didn't come home.( we lived together) Never heard from him until the day after my son was born, when he showed up at the hospital with his new girlfriend. He has come and gone when it's convieniant for him. His girlfriend & her daughter are always more important.
I have encouragedhis relation ship with my son, even offered to pick him up when he was without a car. I dont my son to blame me for his dad not being here so I have been "overly" nice.
Any thoughts or Ideas?? Anything will be appreciated.

 

[Grace_Adler]

All I can do is to tell you to go to the following website and read the criteria for each state to terminate rights.

www.calib.com/nccanch/pubs/sag/groundtermin.cfm

 

[abrous]

I am a firm believer that if the father is not physically abusing the child, you should let THEIR relationship (father & child) proceed as is. You don't have to be "overly nice" to your ex but don't bad mouth him either. Your child will grow up respecting you for having let him know his dad. When he reaches adulthood he will see his dad for what he is...good or bad. You never know maybe his dad will "grow up" too and surprise you.

 

[misslawli]

re :i need some info.

I have always encouraged the relationship between my son and his father. I figured I would let mmy son decide when he was older. But my son has no clue who this man is. This is a man who promised he'd be there... The woman he left me for and him recently split up. Her and her daughter always had more priority over my son. When they split up, they arranged visitation SO HE COULD SEE HER DAUGHTER!!! I have never bad mouthed him in front of my son. I totally understand and agree with that point. I am lucky enough to have a very close and wonderful family. One that he knows and trusts, and loves. I don't want some man cominging in in the future(if anything does ever happen to me) and tearing my sons life apart because he can't get it together. I also know for a fact that when the father had his visitation time, he would make his girlfriend or mom take care of him.( I was told that by 3 reliable sources not the girlfriend.) I just want my son to have the best life possible. He has several wonderfull male rolemodels to do all the "Dadly" things with. Thanks for you responses they will be helpful

 

[Whyte Noise]

If "something should happen to you" then the other biological parent would have rights to the child. Not other male rolemodels. I'm not trying to sound crass or rude, but that's just the way the laws are written. And no, you can't "will" your child to someone else in the event of your death. A will covers personal property and the like.... children can't be willed to whomever you choose. The other bio-parent's rights come before any third party. (I put this in because there are many people that come on this forum and ask about willing their children to someone besides the other bio-parent. Just wanted to answer it ahead of time in case that would have been your next question. )

 

[rdenny]

Ok, not unless there is proven fact that your son's father is abusing your son, he cannot be rid of his parental rights. The main thing is he paying child support for him. If he is not and you can keep strict documentation, there may be a change that could be worked in. I have to agree with Grace, this is a tough situation and you must speak with an attorney and seek the laws in your states. Getting one to forgo their parental rights is very very tough.

 

[misslawli]

No. He does not pay CS. We have a verbal agreement. $75 every 2wks. thats $150 a month. He in my son's lifetime(2.5yrs) he has paid about $400. I think bright and early monday morning I'm going to go down to the court house and file for sole custody. etc. I guess I'll just have to hope he goes away on his own. I have NEVER denied this man any visitation or contact with his son. about every 6 mos, (in one case it was 3 days short of a year) He pops in and decides he's ready to be a dad. It usually lasts for about 3weeks or so. I don't want to cause any undo stress or emotional trauma to my son because his father cant get his act together. After he left me while I was pregnant, I didn't even want him on the BC. But he showed up at the hospital the day after my son was born (with his new girlfriend) and begged for forgiveness and said he was ready to tbe a dad. He filled out the Acknoweldgement of paternity and paperwork for the BC. I know all about the whole "it's my fault for slleping with him" and all that stuff. But sometimes, good people make bad choices.

 

[rdenny]

Ok let me tell you something. Those verbal agreements don't wash. My ex is getting me to pay 125.00 ever two weeks and it is documented and I am in my daughter's life a hell of a lot more than my ex. As I said, he is only out to destroy me and he is using my daughter to do it. I used to be like you, don't cause undo stress. Not any more. Go for the jugular. He owes you that and set the visitation that way you can have it documented. Keep the visitation documented so that if he doesn't appear on those days, you have it for the records. It will make your case better if you seek full custody and or denial of parental rights. Stop playing the miss nice guy. I did it and it got me no where.