i really miss my daughter..

[matteberly25]

Im a 16 year old. (not mentaly) im a very very mature father, My little girl means the world to me. and my girlfriends parents are controlling (my girlfriends not even allowed siting on the porch with out consent from her parents). And ive been away from them for 7 months now, i cant take it anymore, i tryed to be nice to them just to see my daughter, i dont know what do do, i went threw so many depresstion classes i feel like my life is over, nooone will help me legaly, i dont really think my parents care.. they i guess think i should just forget about her.. but thats all i think about. and could someone please tell me what to do.. and what are the chances of me getting to see her, and what would it be. something stupid like once a month supervised for 2 hours?.. I really hate this.. PLease someone help me and tell me

 

[matteberly25]

My states ohio, sorry i forgot it in last post

 

[Phnx02]

You need to file for visitation with the courts. If paternity hasn't been legally established yet, a DNA test will be ordered. You will also be ordered to pay child support. Even though your only 16, you are old enough to get a job and will have to help support your daughter. Once you get a visitation order, you will get time with your child whether the grandparents like it or not. You are the father. As long as you don't have anything like a criminal record, abuse drugs or alcohol, and your home environment (with your parents) is good and stable, you should get standard unsupervised visitation which is generally every Wednesday, every other weekend, holiday share, and a few weeks at a time in the summer. If your girlfriend is receptive to more time, you can negotiate this. Don't worry! File for visitation and enjoy your daughter! Kudos to you for trying to be a responsible dad!

 

[matteberly25]

Alright, thanks for the help!!.. And i know im old enough to have a job i have one and i sneak over at night when everyones sleeping to drop of dipears, and cloths and everything. But Me and my girlfriend talked about the child support and stuff. what if we make a parenting plan are self and make a thing when i get her and on what days, and no child support but we agree to help eachother with money. And if i signed the birth certificate does that mean thats prove that im the father or will i have to go take one of those dna test?

 

[matteberly25]

You know what, I was thinking. Me and My daughters mother are still together we just dont see eachother because her parents are mean and cruel and cold hearted people.. But with out going to court would i have a right just to GO OVER to there house and take my daughter (my girlfriend would let me for a couple hours) but i know the grandmother would try to stop me and blah blah.. but could i just leave anyways with out geting into any trouble or what? since were both minors.. BUt My girlfriend is the legal custudion of our daughter

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Did you sign the affidavit of paternity at the hospital or just the birth certificate?
If not, both of you can sign that now and then you could file for custody and visitation. Call your family ocurt and ask for assiatance, you may be able to apply for fee waivers. You may be able to work out a visitation schedule and when it is court ordered it is ordered and her parents can't prevent you from visiting your child, they can prevent you from visiting their child but not yours. Is your plan to get married and raise the child together? How old is she?
If you are bringing things over for the baby at night, I'll bet at least one of her parents knows.

 

[Phnx02]

You know what, I was thinking. Me and My daughters mother are still together we just dont see eachother because her parents are mean and cruel and cold hearted people.. But with out going to court would i have a right just to GO OVER to there house and take my daughter (my girlfriend would let me for a couple hours) but i know the grandmother would try to stop me and blah blah.. but could i just leave anyways with out geting into any trouble or what? since were both minors.. BUt My girlfriend is the legal custudion of our daughter

You poor thing..... You're evidently in love with this girl and have a baby together that you're trying to be a good, responsible dad to. But since you're both still so young and living at home, you're at the mercy of her parents in determining when you can see your own daughter. Her parents are trying to maintain some control over their daughter.......which is obviously too late. The deed has already been done. What the parents should be doing at this point, is accept that you and the girl have a relationship......are now responsible for a child together for the next 18 years...and just be thankful that a 16 year old boy has stepped up to the plate of responsible fatherhood for their grandchild! If they're afraid of what may happen if they allow you two back together, then for God's sake, take the daughter down to planned parenthood and put her on birth control!

Like previous poster said, the girlfriends parents may tell you you cannot see their daughter since she's still a minor, but they cannot tell you you cannot see your own child. Even though you're a minor too, you have rights as the child's father. Tell your girlfriend to go down to the local child enforcement agency (a government entity) and file for paternity, custody, and child support. Once this has all been established, you will be given a set visitation schedule for your daughter....a legal order that the grandparents have to abide by. This will resolve so many of your problems!

 

[stealth2]

Tell your girlfriend to go down to the local child enforcement agency (a government entity) and file for paternity, custody, and child support. Once this has all been established, you will be given a set visitation schedule for your daughter....a legal order that the grandparents have to abide by. This will resolve so many of your problems!

Uuuuuh......... Unless I'm very much mistaken, CSE doesn't get involved with visitation and custody. Only support.

 

[matteberly25]

Yeah we plan on getting married and raising our daughter together. Its just been so hard lately because i was allowed over till me and her mom got into a fight because i asked a million times if my girlfriend and my daughter can come to my house just for a couple hours so my mom can see her grandchild. because the grandmother wont allow my mom over there.. The grandmother is just so controlling and evil and i dont know, But theres probly nothing i can do by seeing my girlfriend if they dont want me to huh? and a other thing.. my girlfriend told me shes afraid to do the court things.. im not sure why.. i think she shouldnt becauses its about her daughters life and her having something with her father.. But her moms abusive and controlling and shes afraid what she will do afterwards.. and If she did do anything i know i would get very very upset and do things i would regret.. Thannks for the help guys

 

[casa]

Yeah we plan on getting married and raising our daughter together. Its just been so hard lately because i was allowed over till me and her mom got into a fight because i asked a million times if my girlfriend and my daughter can come to my house just for a couple hours so my mom can see her grandchild. because the grandmother wont allow my mom over there.. The grandmother is just so controlling and evil and i dont know, But theres probly nothing i can do by seeing my girlfriend if they dont want me to huh? and a other thing.. my girlfriend told me shes afraid to do the court things.. im not sure why.. i think she shouldnt becauses its about her daughters life and her having something with her father.. But her moms abusive and controlling and shes afraid what she will do afterwards.. and If she did do anything i know i would get very very upset and do things i would regret.. Thannks for the help guys

Your g/f may be afraid of her mother, but you don't have to be. What YOU do is not your g/f's responsibility....ie; Go to court and file for visitation rights. If you have not established paternity- you'll need to do that first. You can check your states family law codes online to determine what you'll need to do to establish paternity (meaning proof you are biologically the father- forget if you 'know' it yourself, you need the state's requirement of legal proof ) Then you will be given a court date and the judge will give you a visitation schedule and the g/f's mother won't be able to do anything about it, unless she wants to be in contempt of court.

The g/f's mother is probably still upset her teenage daughter got pregnant- and judging by her reaction to your mother, she may assume the 'deed' was done at your house while your mother failed to properly supervise. Doesn't make it true or untrue- but likely is the reason. Either way, by showing you are responsible and willing to fight for your child, and by showing up on visitation and doing your best to support your child- the g/f's mother will eventually see you can be a good father. Your actions and behavior will be under the microscope for awhile, so step up to the plate and do the right thing~ You'll never regret it.

You (or you and g/f together) would also benefit from some parenting classes- check your local phone book for teen resources. They are out there. Educate yourself so you can feel more competent.

Hang In There....Your child will thank you for it.

 

[matteberly25]

No it was actually done at Her grandmothers houses lol..and yeah i took millions of classes.. my whole life changed.. I spend my whole pay check on her and get her everything she needs. I try so hard for her parents to like me.. I tryed talking to them but they dont see me as a father the see me as a little 16 year old druggie drunk partying loser dad..but im not. i love her daughter and mine.

 

[casa]

No it was actually done at Her grandmothers houses lol..and yeah i took millions of classes.. my whole life changed.. I spend my whole pay check on her and get her everything she needs. I try so hard for her parents to like me.. I tryed talking to them but they dont see me as a father the see me as a little 16 year old druggie drunk partying loser dad..but im not. i love her daughter and mine.

Many great men and fathers began their journey proving others' wrong. You can do it.

 

[matteberly25]

thanks thanks

 

[lonelyandsad]

way to go!

i know from experiancxe that teen boys can be good parents if they put in the effort.my brother josh is 14,and rasing his 2 yr old twins,their mother died in nov,and when she got pregnant,he said he'd be there for her,and he was,our parents helped out with clothes and daipers and things,and he got to see the twins often.no that jessi's gone,he has the twins,and is rasing them,with my husband i and there ready to help in any way we can.hes very mature for 14,and im proud of him for standing up to his responsibilities.im proud of you too,keep up the good work!

 

[SMURFEELAW]

How are your parents in all this or does the g/f have other family members to take her in. B/C you stated that g/f's mom may be abusive or take out frustration for this going to Court if maternal grandma does do that (and I mean serious abuse like hitting not just saying mean things) then your g/f should report the physical abuse and possibly she could move in with another relative or something b/c if maternal g-ma is physically abusive that is not a good environment for a new young mom or the baby. Hang in there and ask the Court for your rights. Good luck and I'm proud of you for standing up and doing something that some men twice your age can't seem to do sometimes.