I think my ex is going to try and change our son's name

[Pony1]

Hi

My ex girlfriend and I had a son and we were never married. He's 4. We're trying to work out a legal arrangement. She says that he feels like he's not part of her family because everyone in her family has a different last name than he does. She has suggested that she would keep my last name for him but if he wants her last name hyphenated with it or her future husband's last name hyphenated to it, she might change it to that. We originally had something in our contract worked out where his name would stay the same, but she wants to take that out. My question is, if she takes that clause out of the contract, can she add a hyphened name to his last name without my written consent? Can she just do it on her own? Should I leave the clause in the contract if I want his name to stay the same or do I just have to not consent when she decides she wants to change it? I was thinking that I would want his name to stay the same and if he still wants to change it when he turns 18, then he can do it. But I've spoken with him about it and explained that he's just as much a part of her family as he is a part of mine. (I think she wants the name change much more than he does.) Your comments are greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

 

[usmcfamily]

Are you currently recognized as his biological parent (has there been paternity entered into court?)....either way she cannot change his name without contacting the biological parent, but if you are not she could try the "I don't know who/where he is" line to try to get around that. To answer simply, NO SHE CANNOT DO THAT without you knowing as it is a legal process and she would have to have you served with a copy of the petition which gives you an opportunity to then appear and give your side of why it should NOT be done. Typically as long as you object they aren't going to allow the change unless she can prove it is in his best interest which is hard to do in a name case with an objecting bio-parent. Are you up on support payment? Have you been actively involved with the child? Are you abusive/dangerous? These are the types of things that she could try to use as issues to persuade the court on the "best interest" argument......just so you are prepared.
Good luck...

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

x

[This message has been edited by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE (edited October 13, 2000).]

 

[Anne]

Do not underestimate the desire of a child to have the same last name as everyone else in the household. My daughter was eager to change her name to that of her stepdad (now adopted dad) and stepsister as soon as we married and I changed my name. She hated having a different name than everyone else. It was very important to her and she was very unhappy about it until we got it changed upon adoption.