I want to change the mediated agreement - possible?

[rachelletxgrl]

What is the name of your state? Texas

I've agreed to attend mediation early last week and after thinking it over less than 24 hours later I wished to change or cancel the terms. My ex husband said no and that he spent a lot of time and money on it and was not going through it again. I contacted the mediator and he said its binding and cannot be changed and advised I seek legal counsel. I spoken with 2 lawyers and they both essentially are telling me tough and that courts will honor the agreement but one attorney said I may have options but this is where it gets complicated:

1) He's in a chapter 13 that has 3 more years until completed - its his 13 only...I'm not on it but community debts are included.
2) He did disclose the 13 and I'm aware of it and we made provisions for how it would be addressed in the mediated agreement but it sounds like I don't have to go forward with the divorce or stick to the mediated agreement until the 13 is completed is that true? It sounds like I may have some wiggle room if the divorce court won't grant the divorce until the 13 is completed.

I've discussed this with my soon to be ex-husband and according to him....he spoke with his attorney and the divorce courts don't require a completed 13 to grant a divorce. Is that correct?

The one attorney I spoke to said I could argue the mediated agreement doesn't put the interests of our child ahead of our individual interests and I was going to go with that approach...but my soon to be ex's attorney apparently responded that a mediated agreement takes precedence and that his client (my ex) will not adjust the agreement.

I'm hoping somehow the chapter 13 somehow delays or stops the divorce proceeding - how does a 13 impact a divorce?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

You wrote, " It sounds like I may have some wiggle room if the divorce court won't grant the divorce until the 13 is completed." Where did you "hear" that?

 

[rachelletxgrl]

I heard that from a friend that went through a divorce years ago - that since assets are tied up in a 13 how could a divorce close? Though in my case, the settlement agreement addressed the assets in that they would be sold and paid towards the 13 with any excess being split 50/50.

So are you saying the divorce can continue to closure even while he's in a 13?

 

[HighwayMan]

You should really be asking a licensed divorce attorney not your friends - or your husband's attorney.

 

[HRZ]

you need an attorney paid by you to comment on your fact pattern....

The purpose of mediation is to try to reach a settlement and it makes no sense to second guess a supposed deal 24 hours later ...but your options are best discussed with counsel....pronto.

If he withheld material information it might matter ...

BTW what is it you want changed and why.

 

[stealth2]

it makes no sense to second guess a supposed deal 24 hours later .

Given that the purpose of mediation is to reach an agreement, it is not unheard of for one party or the other to feel pressured to do so. And then, upon the chance to think about it further, feel that it was an agreement against one's interests. It actually makes a great deal of sense - especially upon consultation with an attorney.

 

[HRZ]

My guess is OP went forward wo counsel and STBX used counsel...this time use paid counsel ?

Again what is it you want changed and why...might get better suggestions ...

 

[commentator]

It sounds almost as though this person wants to put off the whole divorce for some reason. What is the reason for the sudden changed decision about the mediation? What aspect of the agreement is it that you have decided you do not want to accept?

 

[rachelletxgrl]

I don't want him divorcing me and I certainly don't want it done under the provisions of the agreement I signed. I don't like the geographic restriction to reside within Grayson county. I've already spoken with another attorney this week and was basically told its too late and that with a confirmed bankruptcy that too won't stop the divorce. I was hoping that the 3 years he has left on it would hopefully help reconcile things between us.

 

[Zigner]

I don't want him divorcing me and I certainly don't want it done under the provisions of the agreement I signed. I don't like the geographic restriction to reside within Grayson county. I've already spoken with another attorney this week and was basically told its too late and that with a confirmed bankruptcy that too won't stop the divorce. I was hoping that the 3 years he has left on it would hopefully help reconcile things between us.

You've got to move on - he has.

 

[stealth2]

Is the geographic restriction based on a mutual child?

 

[not2cleverRed]

I don't want him divorcing me and I certainly don't want it done under the provisions of the agreement I signed. I don't like the geographic restriction to reside within Grayson county. I've already spoken with another attorney this week and was basically told its too late and that with a confirmed bankruptcy that too won't stop the divorce. I was hoping that the 3 years he has left on it would hopefully help reconcile things between us.

That's not worth focusing on, since staying married is not an option. Back in the days when "no fault divorce" didn't exist you might - and only might have had a leg to stand on in contesting a divorce. But that is not the modern legal reality.

Therefore, you have to focus on making this the best divorce possible for yourself and your children, if you have any. Have you only consulted attys on attempting to stop the divorce, or have you also asked about the conditions?

 

[HighwayMan]

I don't want him divorcing me and I certainly don't want it done under the provisions of the agreement I signed. I don't like the geographic restriction to reside within Grayson county.

So then WHY did you sign the agreement??

 

[HRZ]

you won't stop a divorce ...TX has some pretty tough requirements on a parent seeking to move away ...OUCH ...

How much alimony is he due to pay you ? TIme of order entry may matter a LOT as to tax implications.

 

[rachelletxgrl]

To answer some of the questions above:

1) It was a 12 hour session and quite frankly, thought it was fair but after going home and mulling it over I didn't like it.
2) We did not have any counsel (he or I)
3) I won't spill my guts on a public forum but i made a mistake in the marriage, tried to make it work and he doesn't appear to want any of it. I was hoping in time he'd change his mind.

Either I'm not asking the attorneys the right question (in the free consultations) or they are misunderstanding my intent - I was under the impression that he couldn't move forward in a divorce especially while in a confirmed CH 13 since divorcing would impact the bankruptcy estate? When I talked to my ex about it - he said that's not a factor - the mediation agreement doesn't split any property.

It sounds like someone is feeding him that information - is it true?