I want to get rid of grandma

[mysevenkids]

In april I was given custody of two of my kids. I was given full legal and physical custody. Proir to this their maternal grandparents had custody. The judge gave me custody after grandma showed the court how she didn't want myself or their mother to have any contact for no real good reason. Anyways, grandma's thing is to pit people against each other and to spark fights between people who normally get along. Basically I want to get her removed from the court case. She files with the court frequently and has sent my kids a letter in which she states "David, (me) is Hitler and running a concentration camp." The judge wrote in his judgement "The father is encouraged to allow the grandparents visitation, provided he feels the grandparents will not say or do anything to jeopordize the esteem the children have of either of their parents." I really do not want to file a restraining order, I would rather just have her removed from the case. I feel like I have to defend or respond to these letters to the courts she sends because she is telling one side of the story. I am sure she didn't tell them that we monitor her phone calls because she called her oldest granddaughter (one of the two she had custody of 13yrs old) the B word and hung up on her. Anyways if someone could just point me in the right direction ie. what paper to file if there is one I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

 

[Grandma B]

You don't have to file anything. Simply don't allow her access to your children. The Judge didn't order you to allow her visitation, he only encouraged it, and she has already violated his stipulation about jeopardizing the children's esteem of either parent.

While a relationship between children and grandparents is usually beneficial to both, it isn't always in the children's best interest. Calling your 13 year old daughter names is totally unacceptable behavior.

 

[Yas]

But is it legally correct that one minute, the grandparents have custody, and the next, they are not even allowed visitation?? if so then good, cos too many grandparents overstep the boundaries these days!

 

[LegalBeagle]

But is it legally correct that one minute, the grandparents have custody, and the next, they are not even allowed visitation?? if so then good, cos too many grandparents overstep the boundaries these days!

She sent a letter? Cool.. evidence!!

 

[Yas]

So one nasty letter from Grandma can change the "status quo" from the kids being with grandma, to the kids being with the father, with no visitation for the grandma?? Just sounds mad to me! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled custody went to a parent, but how can one letter change things so dramatically??

In my case, my ex and his mother have kept the baby from me for so long, swear at me in the streets, kept me away at Xmas and New Year, and I still have to go through months of court cases and proving myself, and statements etc etc.

By the way, to the poster, why was the custody awarded to you and not the mother? Where is she in all this?

 

[mysevenkids]

It is a very long story of deception, lies, and all the rest many of you have been through. Basically, the mom has been in and out of prison since she was 20, for drug abuse and check fraud. I was raising three of my seven by myself, I was homeless on the streets, saw my wife asked her to help me with the three, but she chose her drugs instead. Don't get me wrong, she loves her children, and her children love her very much. By the way she is the mother to five the other two have a different mom. She too is drug addict and has a tendency to run the streets. Her current husband is the main caretaker of their son, she is in and out. Any how, the grandmother took our first born daughter (now 13) from my exwife, who at the time of the birth was in prison. She let me know the baby was born and told me that because we were not married she had my exwife put father unknown on the birth certificate and that that she (dear sweet grandma) was keeping the baby until dear sweet mommy was out of prison. Before mommy was out of prison dear sweet grandma told her daughter through letters that baby was very ill with cerebal palsy (I know I probably didn't spell it right I am sorry) because she had done drugs while pregnant. Asked daughter how are you going to take care of this baby when you can't take care of yourself? Why not let me keep her, I can afford to help her. Mommy gets out of prison goes to the DR.'s and asks what's going on with my daughter? Seems grandma has claimed baby as hers, and so mom can't get any info from doctors until she proves she IS the mom. (I told you this was a long story, not to mention sickening) Doctor's get the proof, tell her the truth, baby is fine now, was hurt because of head injury sustained while mommy was in prison. Seems sweet aunty dropped baby while throwing baby up in the air. Mommy wants baby back now, grandma threatens suicide, daughter is very torn and makes the decision to leave baby with grandma so long grandma lets her visit with baby when ever she wants. Almost same thing with second daughter, but this time daughter was dropped off at the age of two (now 11) when mommy went to have our son. I went to get our daughter back, grandparents weren't home, baby was with uncle and aunt, understood she was there because mom was having baby, gave her to me. Grandma and grandpa (grandpa is 6'2 and 320lbs) grandma is 5'4 and 300lbs, and I'm not joking, show up at my house. I have daughter in my arms, grandpa threatens to kick my you know what, if I don't give him my child (by the way I at this time was 5'9 130lbs) he does this while grandma is crying and telling us she's going to kill herself. Now wife and I seperate, end up having two more kids (twins) durring a time we thought we could work things out. I ended up homeless on the streets with my three youngest kids who are 1 year and 7 days apart in birth. Later (1994) I am just getting on my feet, have been in my place for a week. Grandma decides to get custody of my two girls. She does not send me papers, she has some one forge a proof of service and has the papers delivered by mail to my dad's house. For some reason, I never get those papers. Sweet grandma visits me the day of court, my dad and I are both there, she tells us, "I'm going to the court house today to make sure daughter(my exwife) can't take kids from me." My dad offers "You want us to go with you, we know that she's on drugs, etc." sweet grandma says no, of course. I continue to work my way up, find a home, find a job, find a wonderful woman who is smart, kind, and dedicated to myself and ALL seven of my kids. Unaware that she has custody. Grandma lets me see the kids when I am good - ie, lending her money, doing favors, etc. As soon as I tick her off, say the wrong thing, get to close to my girls, she yanks them away. She blocks the phone, so I can't call, I call from my dad's and want to come out, convieniently they are on their way out the door to do whatever. Finally I saw no more. I can physically, mentally, financially, etc raise my kids. Last October I file to terminate gaurdianship. Find out she has custody. When I serve her, she calls my house leaves several NASTY messages ie. "You'll never have these girls, and you think you and your B@#%* exwife can take them ......" I take these recordings to our mediator. I am given visitation. Grandma continues her sweet ways. Doesn't give me my time, calls and harrasses me, calls and harrasses the mediator, sends several letters to the court degrading myself and my ex. (by the way my ex is at this time involved, and realizes the if the kids are with me, she will also get to see them) Courts don't like that, mediator gives me custody. And from what I said before grandma is very manipulative and seems to enjoy trying to pit one person against the other. Grandma is now VERY MAD, she has always been able to play the system to get what she wants. She even cried in court, she also called her three other grandkids "heathen breathers, for lack of a better word." to the judge in court. She also told the judge "If you give him those kids, I will have nothing to do with any of them." she also said in court "I have hated (me) for 13 years, and have hated my daughter even longer." Please keep in mind, all these sweet grandma statements are being made in one court room, the judge is there and basically she is giving her plea to keep her granddaughters. I am no judge, I am no attourney, but you know what I am, I am smart enough to know those words were real, and were WAY unapporpriate. I hope I have answered your questions, and I am truely sorry that this has been sooo long, but you now have a very vivid picture of the sweet grandma I want to quiet. I just want her out of the court, not our of the kid's lives, I want her to be civil. Calling me Hitler in a letter to her grandchildren, is just the icing on the cake.

 

[Yas]

Hi. No, that wasn't too long, I read it with interest. You should see MY story if you want to see long, hahaha.

I can certainly see why you got custody. Mum certainly doesn't seem the best choice, does she?? I am very happy for you that you got that child from grandma. You know, these grandmas really burn me up, I don't see why they think they have more rights than natural parents.

I will not go on too much cos I have been criticised for using other people's posts to have my own moan, but in my case (briefly) my ex, who is a manic-depressive, took my baby girl from me (using violence) when she was 2 weeks old, and I have been fighting ever since then to get her back to me and my other son (different father). The maddening thing is that he does NOT care for our baby, he lets her live with his mother, and it is SHE who raises our baby. They held her 1st birthday at grandma's house!!

My lawyer said it is pretty much a fight between me and grandma!! She even gave up work to raise my child, you know, as if she had given birth to her, her damn self.

I could do nothing to stop this, so had to take it to court (these people do not know the meaning of reason) and of course court takes ages.

The only thing my ex has in his favour is the status quo. I can, and have used, all the violence, the manic-depression, the fact that grandma has raised our child, the fact I have another child, of whom I have full custody, and the fact that my ex AND his mother practices Parental Alienation.

In the UK, under the Children's Act, grandparents can apply for visitation. Don't know about the states? I hope to get custody, and then I will never let my ex's mother see our child!

I am sorry that your baby was harmed by your ex's irresponsible behaviour while pregnant. But all that was never any reason for grandma to steal your child...and it IS stealing...and you have won now.

Gran is bound to come back begging to you for visitation. You know what to tell her, right? TELL HER TO GET LOST!! She kept your child from YOU, and it is YOUR child! Don't do her any favours! Evil old hag.