I want to protect my investments

[justsomeadvice]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

E and I have been dating for 4 years. She's a stay-at-home mom with 3 children and is receiving child support plus Family aid from the state. We have been talking marriage and I know that marriage these days can be risky and I honestly want to protect my investments should it not work out. I have a 401(k), Money Market Funds, IRA, and several other investment accouts; in all, about $100k and growing. I've worked hard for these and want to secure. How can I do that?

I understand that Michigan is a no-fault state and, by default, she would get 1/2 of everything. Is there anything I can do, besides not marry of course?

Thank you and sorry for confusing message.

 

[DrewfromCA]

Where to start...

"We have been talking marriage..."

Do you really really really want to marry her? You talk about marriage? Well.. do you actually want to get down on a knee and ask her to marry you? She has 3 kids that aren't yours(presumably)... why the heck would you want to get involved in that? What are her reasons for wanting to get married? With 3 kids, she may say love, but....

Take this officially as opinion, but there are things to consider, and I am not a lawyer, so you may need to check with an attorney in Michigan, BUT:

1) Typically, assets that you had before you got married are yours.

2) You may want to try a prenup if they are valid in Michigan(I would assume they are, but I don't know for sure) to protect your pre-marriage assets.

3) The only way to be sure that everything you work for is safe is to not get married. Keep a relationship, but be wary of marriage, especially to someone with 3 kids that aren't yours. The Brady Bunch was an entertaining show, but reality is a little more brutal.

Hope that helps, and I don't mean to be cynical, but remember to look out for your own interests, because no one else will.

Happy Holidays!

 

[hexeliebe]

I understand that Michigan is a no-fault state and, by default, she would get 1/2 of everything. Is there anything I can do, besides not marry of course?

Leave a $50 bill on the nightstand when you leave in the morning.

 

[Germanator]

First, I strongly recommend you consult with an attorney to set up a prenup agreement.
Best is NOT to get married and protect yourself with a living agreement like this:

Property and Finances Clauses
Property owned before living together.
Property of Y: per attached inventory list

Property of X: per attached inventory list


Property inherited or received by gift during the relationship.
Property that is inherited or received as a gift, during the relationship will be kept separate by either party. Property given to both parties is legally owned by both parties.-- this includes gifts that are received at a commitment ceremony or anniversary party, even if given by a relative or friend.

Property bought during the relationship.
Whichever party makes the purchase owns the property.
Expenses
Expenses are shared as followed:
X pays all rent and utilities
Y will pay X $ monthly towards rent and utility contribution Finances
Financial accounts such as checking, savings, 401K or brokerage accounts, their interest and capital gains are kept and maintained separate by each party individually.
Separation
If the parties X and Y separate, each will have the right to take immediate possession of their separate property and that all jointly owned property will be divided equally.
If there is property that is owned together -- but not in equal shares – shall be granted to the party that uses it most or by random selection.
There are no legal and or financial responsibilities such as child support that X has towards Y's son S.

We, X and Y hereby declare that there is no intention of being married.

Signed:

read my post: https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?threadid=168409

I been burned once from a divorce, thats enough.
If she wont sign it, you know she is after you hard earned $$, then run!

 

[vrzirn]

Do not get married! Can you see a judge putting out a woman and three kids from a house, even if it your house? Likely, if you marry her the State Aid will cease. The first thing she will do is get pregnant by you.
This is not merely a red flag, it is a big truck coming down the pike and you stuck in the middle of the road.