If the child is sick?

[onmytime]

What is the name of your state? Arizona
My child's father and I are in the process of going to court. We have decided to work on a parenting plan and let the courts decide what the child support should be (since we can't agree on that part). The plan we established is he has every other weekend (nothing unusual, a week in the summer and we specified holidays. This Saturday was to be the first Saturday our visitation plan would be in effect (verbal agreement). We agreed we would have an outing as co-parents and then he would take our child home with him. My son woke up with a slight fever around 8am, I gave him some Tylenol, called his dad and left a message to let him know he wasn't feeling so well. He called at 10am and by this time, the Tylenol had taken affect and he was feeling a little better. I told him that our son was feeling better but we may want to call the outing off and he could just take him home. He said "since he was sick didn't I think it was better that he just stay at home"

My question is, as a parent if the child is sick or well shouldn't he still come and get him if it is his weekend? I am somewhat torn. I would love for my son to stay and me take care of him if he is ill. However on the other hand shouldn't his father understand what being a parent is all about? It's not just about weekend fun.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Arizona
My child's father and I are in the process of going to court. We have decided to work on a parenting plan and let the courts decide what the child support should be (since we can't agree on that part). The plan we established is he has every other weekend (nothing unusual, a week in the summer and we specified holidays. This Saturday was to be the first Saturday our visitation plan would be in effect (verbal agreement). We agreed we would have an outing as co-parents and then he would take our child home with him. My son woke up with a slight fever around 8am, I gave him some Tylenol, called his dad and left a message to let him know he wasn't feeling so well. He called at 10am and by this time, the Tylenol had taken affect and he was feeling a little better. I told him that our son was feeling better but we may want to call the outing off and he could just take him home. He said "since he was sick didn't I think it was better that he just stay at home"

My question is, as a parent if the child is sick or well shouldn't he still come and get him if it is his weekend? I am somewhat torn. I would love for my son to stay and me take care of him if he is ill. However on the other hand shouldn't his father understand what being a parent is all about? It's not just about weekend fun.

You are absolutely correct....and many parents get in trouble in court for not allowing children to go on visitation with their other parent when they are sick. However, dad isn't necessarily wrong here either. Its sounds like he is trying to do what he feels is best for the child...and often that really is staying home, in their own bed when they are sick.

In any case, there is nothing in the law that requires a parent to exercise visitation.

 

[haiku]

yes, you will see parents on here complaining about not getting thier kids when they are sick, and they are right. Legally, even a sick child must go on visits unless otherwise noted in the papers. And on the other hand, just because a parent has visitation rights it does not mean they get introuble if they don't use them

yes there is much more to parenting than fun stuf, and it maybe your ex is aware of that. He is just thinking that maybe for your son, it would be best for him to have his familiar surroundings, and his own comfortable bed to rest in.

it may be your ex is looking at it from that direction, and I would ask him that and not worry to much about it.

 

[sparky31676]

You are absolutely correct....and many parents get in trouble in court for not allowing children to go on visitation with their other parent when they are sick. However, dad isn't necessarily wrong here either. Its sounds like he is trying to do what he feels is best for the child...and often that really is staying home, in their own bed when they are sick.

In any case, there is nothing in the law that requires a parent to exercise visitation.

I am one of the ones who got in trouble (sort of) for not releasing my son because he an excessive fever and a horrible croup.
Ex went and got a court order forcing me to release son for visit.
I had to.
Son wound up in an ambulance 4 hours later in a seizure.
You should be glad your ex is thinking about what is best for the child.
Why would you not want to be with your child when they are sick?
That's a parents job.

 

[haiku]

I am one of the ones who got in trouble (sort of) for not releasing my son because he an excessive fever and a horrible croup.
Ex went and got a court order forcing me to release son for visit.
I had to.
Son wound up in an ambulance 4 hours later in a seizure.
You should be glad your ex is thinking about what is best for the child.
Why would you not want to be with your child when they are sick?
That's a parents job.

And your child would not have had a seizure if they stayed home?......

I think you ar being to hard on our poster. She is not giving her sick child to a stranger, she is talking about time with his dad. certainly he is just as capable if he disires.

it is a parents job to be with thier child when they are sick. SHe WANTS her ex, the OTHER PARENT to share the responsiblity as well, and wants to make sure she goes about it the right way.

 

[sparky31676]

And your child would not have had a seizure if they stayed home?......

I think you ar being to hard on our poster. She is not giving her sick child to a stranger, she is talking about time with his dad. certainly he is just as capable if he disires.

it is a parents job to be with thier child when they are sick. SHe WANTS her ex, the OTHER PARENT to share the responsiblity as well, and wants to make sure she goes about it the right way.

No, he had a fibral seizure.
Ex did not take his temp. a single time after I had to release him even though I instructed him to take it every hour at least.
He was at 107 when the paramedics arrived.
Once before and to this day if he hits 104, I take him in, I did this with my older son as well once when he hit 104.
I guess I may be a little more mushy when my kids are sick. I want to be there to cuddle and give meds. and take temp. and wipe bugars and clean up the puke. I am upset if they are away from me when they are sick.

OP-I did not mean to be hard or rude. I just wanted to show you a sample of my situation that would make you think a little different. You are obviously right in your thinking about ex being a parent too.

 

[onmytime]

You should be glad your ex is thinking about what is best for the child.
Why would you not want to be with your child when they are sick?
That's a parents job.

Thanks to all for the advice.
As I said before I was torn about whether my child should go or not. I too also feel that our child staying at home would be best (I have been the one to always care for him). However I didn't know what right I had to tell him he could not take our child. And then on the other hand I think my ex should understand that parenting involves little ones that get sick and he should experience that too.