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If the court order custody times change(without court involvement) does it supersede

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carbro

Member
What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

Hello everyone -

I will get straight to the point here. I am currently in the fight of my life dealing with my sons mother and the courts.

Back in the fall of 2004, an order of court was issued for custody through a hearing officer. Of course, I got the low end of the stick. I kept my head high and spent every minute with my son.

From the fall of 2004 until present, the times have changed completely. You see, my sons mother pursued her career and needed me to have our son more and more- I took him every minute I could.

This is the current custody times(not through the court) The times are when my son is with me.

week 1
Sunday 12am-Monday 8:30pm
Wed 6pm-Friday 3:30 pm
Sat 9am-8:30pm

week 2
Monday 9am-8:30pm
Wed 6pm-Friday 3:30pm
Sat 9am-Sun midnight

As you can see, I have my son 3 nights a week.
When you break down the time, it goes like this
I have our son over 80% of his waking time
I have our son 54% to her 46% of total time.

On top of this, I am still paying her money.

We are working through a counselor but she is not willing to budge financially and it's going to be a court fight to have the"physically" definition changed.

My question:

Even though we had a hearing officer issue the partial custody papers, does the current custody arrangement between me and my sons mother supersede that order?- The new times have been in place for a while and a pattern has been well established.

I just need some help here and appreciate any answers and welcome any questions.


Thanks
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
carbro said:
What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

Hello everyone -

I will get straight to the point here. I am currently in the fight of my life dealing with my sons mother and the courts.

Back in the fall of 2004, an order of court was issued for custody through a hearing officer. Of course, I got the low end of the stick. I kept my head high and spent every minute with my son.

From the fall of 2004 until present, the times have changed completely. You see, my sons mother pursued her career and needed me to have our son more and more- I took him every minute I could.

This is the current custody times(not through the court) The times are when my son is with me.

week 1
Sunday 12am-Monday 8:30pm
Wed 6pm-Friday 3:30 pm
Sat 9am-8:30pm

week 2
Monday 9am-8:30pm
Wed 6pm-Friday 3:30pm
Sat 9am-Sun midnight

As you can see, I have my son 3 nights a week.
When you break down the time, it goes like this
I have our son over 80% of his waking time
I have our son 54% to her 46% of total time.

On top of this, I am still paying her money.

We are working through a counselor but she is not willing to budge financially and it's going to be a court fight to have the"physically" definition changed.

My question:

Even though we had a hearing officer issue the partial custody papers, does the current custody arrangement between me and my sons mother supersede that order?- The new times have been in place for a while and a pattern has been well established.

I just need some help here and appreciate any answers and welcome any questions.


Thanks
No, your informal arrangement does not supercede the court order. However, if you can prove that you have your child more than mom does, it may give you grounds for a greater official timeshare. Please keep in mind that even in a true 50/50 split, the parent with the higher income generally still pays some child support.
 

carbro

Member
LdiJ said:
No, your informal arrangement does not supercede the court order. However, if you can prove that you have your child more than mom does, it may give you grounds for a greater official timeshare. Please keep in mind that even in a true 50/50 split, the parent with the higher income generally still pays some child support.
Thanks - What do you mean by"greater official timeshare"?


carbro
 

carbro

Member
LdiJ said:
No, your informal arrangement does not supercede the court order. However, if you can prove that you have your child more than mom does, it may give you grounds for a greater official timeshare. Please keep in mind that even in a true 50/50 split, the parent with the higher income generally still pays some child support.

Also, would I have to go to court to "legally" change the definition?


carbro
 

carbro

Member
I don't care about the child support. I can not put a price on the time I have my son.

I have been fighting the good fight every step of the way.

It just seems that men have to prove their competence and women are given that right.


carbro
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
carbro said:
I don't care about the child support. I can not put a price on the time I have my son.

I have been fighting the good fight every step of the way.

It just seems that men have to prove their competence and women are given that right.


carbro
keep fighting the good fight, and leave the men, women thing out of it. There are a lot of women on here that have been treated unjustly by both their ex's and the system. Don't want to cloud your post when they all come hollering back at you!;) :D Greater official timeshare, she means that there is usually no such thing as an actual 50/50 share.
 
Last edited:

carbro

Member
fairisfair said:
keep fighting the good fight, and leave the men, women thing out of it. There are a lot of women on here that have been treated unjustly by both their ex's and the system. Don't want to cloud your post when they all coming hollering back at you!;) :D Greater official timeshare, she means that there is usually no such thing as an actual 50/50 share.

Your right and I appoligize to anyone I offended.

It just seems to be the "norm" in allegheny county.


carbro
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Keep in mind that your existing court orders remain in effect until they are changed by the court. Mom has every legal right to revert back to the court orders and stick to them unless you get a modification done.
 

carbro

Member
LdiJ said:
Keep in mind that your existing court orders remain in effect until they are changed by the court. Mom has every legal right to revert back to the court orders and stick to them unless you get a modification done.

If she would, it would only be out of anger. The thing is, she can't personally do it due to the fact that she has chosen a career and enjoys "social" times.

If she would try to resort back, I think it would look bad on her part in front of the judge.

What do you think?


carbro
 

carbro

Member
LdiJ said:
Keep in mind that your existing court orders remain in effect until they are changed by the court. Mom has every legal right to revert back to the court orders and stick to them unless you get a modification done.

Do I need to get another order from court with the current custody times?


carbro
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
carbro said:
Do I need to get another order from court with the current custody times?


carbro
You need to file a petition for a modification of the visitation order. You can get forms either on line or at the courthouse. You should be able to complete them on your own. You may as well go ahead and file for a modification of child support at the same time.
 

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