if we are just friends is it illegal?

[Jeremy27]

What is the name of your state? California

ok I have known this girl since she was born.. right now I am 27 and she is 14. we don't have any interest in eachother at all except for being friends.
we both have friends our own age but we hang out with eachother a lot too. (I know you say its wrong if you dont hang out with people your own age) lately her friends have been saying its illegal for us to even hang out, be friends, or even talk. she is one of my best friends despite her age and I have no bad "intentions" what so ever. It's not like im interested in younger girls either, i have a girlfriend who's my age and we both agree on the situation.Is it really illegal for us to just be friends and hang out?

 

[CdwJava]

Yes, it IS weird, and it is a recipe for disaster. You cannot have anything in common.

Do her parents know about this friendship?

No, it's not illegal - per se. But, you CAN be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor if she's out after curfew or around alcohol and/or cigarettes, and if she is hanging with you when her parents get mad at her.

What POSSIBLE reason can you have for hanging with a kid?

Just don't be surprised if she cries "wolf" or you get popped for child molestation some day ... and remember, even a friendly and consensual touchy-feely will make you a registered sex offender for life.

You leave yourself very vulnerable to false accusations or temptation with this one. Let it go ... she's a kid for pete's sake!

- Carl

 

[Jeremy27]

Technically i don't consider her a "kid" she's more of a teenager and she's very mature for her age. That's why her parents let her hang out with me because they trust her and she's not going to cry "wolf" because she knows better plus she's the one who told me that she wasn't sure if we should be friends because she didn't want me to get introuble. She's more like a little sister to me because her older brother who is 23 hangs around with us along with her friends who vary from 12-17 to my age she's not a weirdo or anything she's just very likeable.

 

[AHA]

YOU HANG OUT WITH 12 YR OLDS TOO????????? You are dancing around on fire, pal!!! BE VERY VERY CAREFUL!!!!

Put the shoe on the other foot, what would you think of a 27 yr old man with a 14 yr girl? It doesn't look or sound right does it?

If you 2 really had NO romantic interest in each other what so ever, why are you so worried about the legality?

You don't HAVE to hang out with her alone, make sure you're only together in a group. That way at least you hopefully will have witnesses in case someone accuses you of something. It doesn't have to be her parents or her, anyone can report you if they as little as SUSPECT something is going on between you and her.

If she's mature or not makes no difference, she is still only 14 and legally a child. The fact that you see her as older than that is worrying. If you can't see her true age how are you going to be able to see the problem once you do have romantic feelings for her? Being blind for the age is usually how it starts and then it snowballs from there and you can't stop yourself.

Let her be likeable from a distance. Lots of kids are likeable, it doesn't make it right for adult men to hang around them.

 

[BlondeIntel]

What is the name of your state? California

she is one of my best friends despite her age and I have no bad "intentions" what so ever. . . . . i have a girlfriend who's my age and we both agree on the situation. . . . .more like a little sister to me because her older brother who is 23 hangs around with us along with her friends who vary from 12-17 to my age she's not a weirdo or anything she's just very likeable.

This situation occurs quite frequently in churches or youth organizations and can be good for the younger kids IF the older people are good examples for the teens and pre-teens. I hope you'll re-read CdwJava's post concerning the risks that you face from other people, but I want to alert you to another possibility.

How far do you trust the other young men in your group? Child molesters are attracted to situations like this because it is good camouflage.

 

[stealth2]

It's not illegal, but it is a little bit odd even if it's just a "hanging out" situation with you, other 20 yo's and this 14yo. The stuff that 20's do when they're hanging out tends to be pretty different from what mid-teens do. 23/25/27 yo guys really aren't interested in the same sorts of things 14 yo girls are.

If her friends are feeling it's enough of an issue to mention to her, I suspect there's more going on than y'all sitting around shooting the breeze. You may be wise to step back a bit.

 

[curtisL34]

friends?????

i live in PA and the question i have is my 13 yr old niece is with a 16yr ol boy and the mother forbid it andthe daughter still sees him and emails him which was also forebidden by me and her mother from having contact with this boy and we recently found emails to him from her which have some very adult things abt stuff which for a 13 yr old should not be said till shes 17 at least.. is there any laws in this state forbidding these 2 to have contact??

 

[CdwJava]

My suggestion would be to take away the girl's internet and computer priveleges. SHE has control over the situation and is she is choosing not to behave, it is time to remove priveleges.

No court would likely issue a restraining order under these circumstances, so that's out. And the e-mail exchanges are likely consensual, so there's not violation of law there. Mom can be a parent and take away the computer, however. She wants to misuse a good tool, she can lose it for a month or two. When she demonstrates an ability to behave then maybe she can get it back after the New Year.

- Carl

 

[stealth2]

Curtis - you may want to start your own thread.

 

[HomeGuru]

Curtis - you may want to start your own thread.

**A: that's too nice.

 

[stealth2]

**A: that's too nice.

I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. 'Cause, ya know, Santa's making that list and checkin' it twice!