I'm sure no one has heard of this situation!

[Frewily311]

What is the name of your state? Florida
I have a 13yr. old daughter. My ex & I gave up parental rights because he no longer wanted to have anything to do with us. The courts/attorneys told me someone else had to assume his responsibility. He could not just give up his rights and me retain mine. I was not about to marry someone for this reason. The only other option was for my parents to adopt her. This was terrible as well because we have a bad relationship to put it mildly! But, it was better than him continuing to be in our lives. As I feared, they decided to keep her despite all the "good intentions" of returning her to me. Ha!Ha! It has been 7 yrs. now. I have since remarried and have always been in my daughter's life. At least as much as I have been allowed. My folks and I live 5 min. from each other. My daughter is with me every other night. Every day after work if they are home I go tell her good night. I guess considering how it could be we are very lucky to spend the time together we do. Even so, it is heartwrenching for myself & my daughter. This is the extremely abreviated version! Is there any hope of getting her back? Or, should I just keep praying that the years pass quickly for us or they get tired of dealing with her esp. since she is a teenager now? Help! Thanks!!

 

[evy_fluffy]

Just my opinion

I think you should leave things as they are but make sure your parents have a will and leave the child to you should anything happen to them. Stay in her life any way that you can. I am pretty much in the same place you are now, except my parents died and now I am my daughters legal sister and having to fight for custody of her. My child is 13 and I did what I thought was best but now I feel screwed. Just make sure they leave her to you because you signed away your rights. That means you have no rights AT ALL. Just stay in her life. Does she know you are her mom?

 

[mb94]

Legally you are this child's sister. Nothing more. There is no way possible to undo what you have done unless they are willing to let you adopt the child back. And it was a very bad idea to give up your rights to your child just to get your ex out of your life. I'm sure you know this now and I don't want to make you feel worse but if anyone else is reading this forum and thinking about doing what you have done they need to know that once they sign those papers they have no more rights to the child then a stranger on the street.

 

[nextwife]

Just make sure they leave her to you because you signed away your rights.

They CAN'T "leave her to them", she's not property. They CAN establish a Stand by Guardianship, if they wish, but they cannot will her to the poster.

 

[Frewily311]

I think you should leave things as they are but make sure your parents have a will and leave the child to you should anything happen to them. Stay in her life any way that you can. I am pretty much in the same place you are now, except my parents died and now I am my daughters legal sister and having to fight for custody of her. My child is 13 and I did what I thought was best but now I feel screwed. Just make sure they leave her to you because you signed away your rights. That means you have no rights AT ALL. Just stay in her life. Does she know you are her mom?

Yes she does. She hates it as much as I do!

 

[Frewily311]

Legally you are this child's sister. Nothing more. There is no way possible to undo what you have done unless they are willing to let you adopt the child back. And it was a very bad idea to give up your rights to your child just to get your ex out of your life. I'm sure you know this now and I don't want to make you feel worse but if anyone else is reading this forum and thinking about doing what you have done they need to know that once they sign those papers they have no more rights to the child then a stranger on the street.

The "reasoning" behind this was not just to get him out of my life. He wanted to give up rights because he had violated her and things were starting to get ugly. I would rather not go into any more detail than that. It is a shame that our so-called system does not have another avenue. I got screwed! More importantly, my daughter's life did as well! But guess what? She is no longer around that jerk. When she is an adult, she can make the decision as to whether or not she wants to talk to him.

 

[momofrose]

The "reasoning" behind this was not just to get him out of my life. He wanted to give up rights because he had violated her and things were starting to get ugly. I would rather not go into any more detail than that. It is a shame that our so-called system does not have another avenue. I got screwed! More importantly, my daughter's life did as well! But guess what? She is no longer around that jerk. When she is an adult, she can make the decision as to whether or not she wants to talk to him.

If he had violated her - why was he not brought up on charges? Seems to me things could have been handled much differently - this was certainly not a reason for you to give up your parental rights.


D

 

[shell007]

The "reasoning" behind this was not just to get him out of my life. He wanted to give up rights because he had violated her and things were starting to get ugly. I would rather not go into any more detail than that. It is a shame that our so-called system does not have another avenue. I got screwed! More importantly, my daughter's life did as well! But guess what? She is no longer around that jerk. When she is an adult, she can make the decision as to whether or not she wants to talk to him.

Why did YOU give up YOUR parental rights?

 

[txrose1998]

The "reasoning" behind this was not just to get him out of my life. He wanted to give up rights because he had violated her and things were starting to get ugly. I would rather not go into any more detail than that. It is a shame that our so-called system does not have another avenue. I got screwed! More importantly, my daughter's life did as well! But guess what? She is no longer around that jerk. When she is an adult, she can make the decision as to whether or not she wants to talk to him.

I am getting more and more confused......If he violated her as you say, and I am going to assume sexually violated her? Then why did you have to give up your rights?? Wouldn't the person doing the violating have charges brought against him and lose his rights??

 

[ceara19]

Yes she does. She hates it as much as I do!

HUH?? If you both hate the fact that you are her mother so much, why do you want her back?

 

[Frewily311]

If he had violated her - why was he not brought up on charges? Seems to me things could have been handled much differently - this was certainly not a reason for you to give up your parental rights.


D

As in too many cases, nothing could be proven in concrete she was only 2 at the time. The pediatrician and child psychologist testified. Both lawyers and the court system in Alabama and Florida said this was the only way to do it unless there was someone else to take on his half of the parental rights.

 

[Frewily311]

Why did YOU give up YOUR parental rights?

Both lawyers and the courts in Alabama and Florida said this was the only way to do it since there was no one to take on his half of the parental rights.

 

[Frewily311]

I am getting more and more confused......If he violated her as you say, and I am going to assume sexually violated her? Then why did you have to give up your rights?? Wouldn't the person doing the violating have charges brought against him and lose his rights??

Nothing could be proven in concrete, she was only 2 at the time. The pediatrician and child psychologist testified. Both lawyers and the courts in Alabama and Florida said this was the only way to do it since there was no one to take on his half of the parental rights.

 

[Frewily311]

HUH?? If you both hate the fact that you are her mother so much, why do you want her back?

Not that we both hate the fact that I am her mother!!!! We hate the fact that this happened and now they won't give her back! We are very close to each other.

 

[momofrose]

Nothing could be proven in concrete, she was only 2 at the time. The pediatrician and child psychologist testified. Both lawyers and the courts in Alabama and Florida said this was the only way to do it since there was no one to take on his half of the parental rights.

I am sorry but something still does not make sense - NO COURT in the world would MAKE a mother give up their parental rights because the father would not give his up..